[history1986d]

Great psychology website. Thanks for permitting people to pose questions.

I'm curious to know if any other men (over the age of 25) have the fantasy described below.

I’m a straight, 26 year-old, male doctoral candidate. Since childhood, I have fantasized about scenarios in which I find myself surrounded by women, while I'm wearing nothing but white Fruit-of-the-Loom briefs (so-called "tighty whities"). The women are always clothed. In these fantasies, I find myself in that predicament, accidentally, through no fault of my own or overt action on my part. These fantasies are a confluence of vastly divergent emotions: It's anticipatory dread juxtaposed with prurient exhilaration. Half of me almost shudders at the mere thought of such an unpleasant and embarrassing experience, and yet the other half of me desires it with an unfathomable intensity that very nearly causes my heart to pound out of my chest. "I hate it, yet I love it," so-to-speak.


I'm not an exhibitionist. The fantasies do not involve nudity of any type. I've never acted out these fantasies and never will. They will remain just that: Fantasies. However, for nearly twenty years I have run these fantasies (I have 5-6 favorite scenarios) through my mind with scrupulous attention devoted to every minuscule detail. The level of sexual arousal produced by these fantasies is incredible and instantaneous; almost beyond description.

The fantasy evokes several distinct emotions: Humiliation; a very strong sense of vulnerability and a tinge of "despair," because I know this moment of extreme embarrassment can never be "undone." The reactions of the women always fall into one of two categories: They find my very unfortunate public circumstances to be a source of amusement, which is often accompanied by pointing and stifled giggling. Or, they are mature, almost stoic, as they earnestly try to help me recover my dignity – and my pants - which, of course, are nowhere to be found. They may offer me a robe or towel. It is the second group of women (the "helpful" group) that causes the most humiliation for me. Another vital component in these fantasies is the issue of "seeing" these women "afterward." It would be embarrassing to have to look these women in the eye afterward.

As stated earlier, in these fantasies, I inexplicably, accidentally, somehow find myself trouser-less. It's not "intentional." The women are varied and can include any race. The number of women in these fantasies can range from one to dozens. The women can be any age between 21 and about 55. However, the more attractive they are, the more humiliating it is. The more feminine they are (curvaceous; hair coiffed; dresses/evening gowns, as opposed to jeans, etc.), the more humiliating it is.

Sometimes, the women in these fantasies are strangers (nurses; sorority sisters; a club full of women on "Ladies Drink Free" Night). Sometimes they're known to me (neighbors; academic colleagues; my brothers' girlfriends; the "50-something" cashiers at the 99-cents store; the two buxom hygienists at my dentist's office, etc.).

As I grew older, I strongly suspected these fantasies would end. They haven't.

Any and all insight would be greatly appreciated. Thanks - Dean

Sounds like something within the femdom range of fetish known as CFNM. Although there is no "N" in your fantasy (N is for Nudity), there is probably a similar dynamic.

Humiliation is another 'genre' of Femdom which you have described here.

[Mike_J]

Hard to confess this even in private here, but I have always had fantasies for being humiliated and degraded by women. And according to my therapist they are very common and not something I should worry about. I'm not sure if she meant the "not to worry" is a general statement, or for me specifically because I have much bigger issues to worry about.

[history1986d]

Mike: I appreciate the candor in your comment. Yes, it certainly is difficult to bare our souls. My concern with the nature of my fantasy is that it does not tend to follow the so-called "usual themes" with respect to "humiliation. No nudity; no pain; no "tools" (leather, collars, ect). I'm not complaining! I don't seek any of those things. I am, however, attempting to ascertain if other men (or women) my age have these same fantasies which tend to dwell on "underwear" instead of the aforementioned items. If it's "unique," so be it. Just curious if there's anyone else out there, because I'd like to know how they deal with it. Take care

[Kant]

I think almost everyone has a little kink in them, well except my wife..... but that is another story. When you find yours great; just know when and where it can and should be expressed. So long as no one gets hurt, at least without them first giving consent , sexual expression should be free.

[history1986d]

In response: My concern is that dwelling on this particular fantasy is so sexually arousing, it has supplanted all physical interaction in my own life. Just thinking about it provides so much emotional gratification, it has rendered almost any/all other hunan interaction null and void.

[Kant]

If you desires are controlling you and you can’t step away on your own, it is time to get help. The level of my personal sexual activity would be taken as extreme by others, but it interferes with our (My Family’s) life not at all. If you can’t do what you need to do without it getting in the way, it is time for help.

[anthony81]

I have a similar fantasy but it involves playing slave and not necessariliy humiliation.

I fantasize about being an 18 yr old skinny blond lesbian and my "GF" has a strapon and wants to "punish" me and I am tied and so on.

I feel silly ever asking a real girl to act this scene with me since i am a guy but gosh it is such a turn on for me.. to be violated by a girl like that!

conversely I like to switch and let her play the slave also.. while I 'violate' her that way.. even Bigger turn on!

I wonder what prompts such fantasies in us?

Its almost like I feel that there is a movie reel running in my head constantly with that scene playing