[empath301]

Has to be more than one's anatomy. It has to be a lot of things maybe. I've asked this question a lot. My Mother told me that men were pigs, monsters, had an anatomy that was unculturred compared to that of women. In resume men were disgusting human beings. Mother told me I'd be an adult when I became like her. Of course that never happenned. I have ceased contact with her because she has bevaviors that would be expected from persons with antisocial personalities, such as psychopaths, sociopaths, etcetra. Now I'm asking what manhood really is. Wolf whistling after pretty women is not my thing. The beauty I look for is the inner beauty. And women do have brains....at least some of them do. But what is this thing about manhood that is so COOL? Just wondering. I'll block anybody that gives me stupidity as an answer. My childhood was pretty abnormal after all. Thanks for reading and responding.

[glok]

Hello, empath301. Generalizations and stereotypes abound. Your perception, however, is subjective. You get to choose what "manhood really is."

[MotownJohnny]

Being a loving and kind father and partner. My father was as far from that as can be. Because of that, I never went there. Which I regret. When I see men who are good fathers and good partners, to me that is "real".

[Ryan.l.s]

to me, there are no specific qualities or things that define a man or a woman. instead I think of qualities that make that man or woman respectable; like being mature, responsible and capable of handling even the most difficult and frustrating situations in a cool and levelheaded way.

I agree with MotownJohnny, it is being a father and loving husband. It's the only real way you get to express being a man, because that is what men do. But, there is more to that, when you do these things, you also take the role of teacher and leader, because you take responsibility for someone who is not as strong as you are, who depends on you. But, I don't think I'll ever be those things, so although I am a man, I still don't know what it's like to be a "complete" man. With me being diagnosed at 24 with autism disorder and depression, and watching my whole life my parents dysfunctional marriage, and being invalidated my entire life by older men in my life, because "kids of today did not do compulsory military service like we did and are thus not real men", also a lifetime of bullying, I'm pretty much sure I'll never get married or have children, because I find it impossible to make the right connections with a girl and have a good loving relationship.

[GenerallyBewildered]

A guy is someone who say's there a guy. I find "being a man" to be as useless as "being a woman" Just be you.

[Magnitude]

Aside from the aesthetic anatomical differences, there is in men the predominance of testosterone. We have it in far greater quantity than women. It is what brings about the anatomical differences, as well as the mental. If there is one thing that represents the difference between a man and a woman it is testosterone.

Look it up, read about it, understand what it does and how it makes us different.

I take one quality, that of strength. Testosterone makes men inherently stronger, muscularly, than women. On another level, I like to think of other qualities of men that are strong and which, traditionally, represent a man's role - when we are required to be mentally and emotionally 'strong' we are considered manly, for example. When we take responsibility and stand up for ourselves or others, we are considered as having strong character and being 'manly'. When we act as providers for those we love and care for, and when we take responsibility for others and for ourselves (not passing the buck onto someone else, for example) we are considered strong and manly. Regardless of whether these are exclusively male qualities and attributes, they are traditionally considered 'manly' and associated with strength, so they may help you in reflecting upon how you define your own masculinity.

But for me, I only really began to feel like a 'man' after about the age of 30-35 years. After I'd done a fair bit of travelling and had a number of adventures when I tested my courage and fortitude and had tried my best to be a man in every way I could imagine - drinking hard, partying, chasing women, getting into fights and dangerous situations, you know how it goes.

But it was only after all that when I was in my 30's that I observed that women I was with would often say they felt more 'feminine' around me. I don't know why, and I have no idea if it was anything I did which caused the change. Or maybe it was always there but my insecurity made me deaf to it. But it was this which made me feel like a man, more than any of the other things I had done. Just making a woman feel like a woman when she was with me. Maybe it is that simple.

Originally Posted by Magnitude

Aside from the aesthetic anatomical differences, there is in men the predominance of testosterone. We have it in far greater quantity than women. It is what brings about the anatomical differences, as well as the mental. If there is one thing that represents the difference between a man and a woman it is testosterone.

Look it up, read about it, understand what it does and how it makes us different.

I take one quality, that of strength. Testosterone makes men inherently stronger, muscularly, than women. On another level, I like to think of other qualities of men that are strong and which, traditionally, represent a man's role - when we are required to be mentally and emotionally 'strong' we are considered manly, for example. When we take responsibility and stand up for ourselves or others, we are considered as having strong character and being 'manly'. When we act as providers for those we love and care for, and when we take responsibility for others and for ourselves (not passing the buck onto someone else, for example) we are considered strong and manly. Regardless of whether these are exclusively male qualities and attributes, they are traditionally considered 'manly' and associated with strength, so they may help you in reflecting upon how you define your own masculinity.

But for me, I only really began to feel like a 'man' after about the age of 30-35 years. After I'd done a fair bit of travelling and had a number of adventures when I tested my courage and fortitude and had tried my best to be a man in every way I could imagine - drinking hard, partying, chasing women, getting into fights and dangerous situations, you know how it goes.

But it was only after all that when I was in my 30's that I observed that women I was with would often say they felt more 'feminine' around me. I don't know why, and I have no idea if it was anything I did which caused the change. Or maybe it was always there but my insecurity made me deaf to it. But it was this which made me feel like a man, more than any of the other things I had done. Just making a woman feel like a woman when she was with me. Maybe it is that simple.

I envy you, pal

As the above poster said, I think it is strength (physical and emotional) that differentiates men from women.

I'm physically strong, but emotionally weak thanks to my BPD (which is why I have zero luck with women). I've given up on women, and moved on to the gym and weights

There's nothing like that feeling of the testosterone surging through your body when lifting weights and seeing those delts and arms and pecs swollen big pumped with blood ... and that, my friend, is why I love being a man

Originally Posted by lilodian4ever

I envy you, pal

Me too .

[Ford Puma]

What is a guy
Well my T ones asked me [a guy] what is a woman!
I mumbled on for about 2 minuets and then stopped and said eeeehhhhh what else is their.
Guys are what guys do.

[Internal War]

What is being a guy all about? I'd say someone (a man, of course) who does things and doesn't talk about them. That could be exercise or work or school or whatever it is you do. And being useful and having skills to fix things or get things done is a decent definition of what a guy is. And emotional intelligence without coming off like a complainer or whiner yet able to communicate clearly. Everyone has their own definition, but really I think it's about being useful and owning self respect along with looking out for others and not afraid to lend a helping hand and not expecting something in return, as long as it's reasonable

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

I am pretty sure it is about keeping a stiff upper lip, showing no emotion, having frequent cold baths, keeping your socks on when fulfilling your conjugal obligations to your wife, and turning any hint of intimacy into a conversation about cricket.

I could be wrong.

[CoffeeLove]

Is there really any value in such a question, is this sort of subject genuinely more than an attempt to coerce nonsensical responses designed simply to show how foolish we can be as small minded individuals.

What is more valuable or important, to figure out what a 'guy' is supposed to be or to continue trying to figure out who 'you' are supposed to be as a person.

Me, I couldn't care less how I am supposed to behave as a man, I want to treat people the same way I want them to treat me, with kindness and understanding, if that makes me a 'guy' then great and if it doesn't make me a 'guy' then I couldn't care less.

[Onward2wards]

There are different ways of being a guy. There are different ways of being a human. Which ways feel authentic to you and make sense? Whether one is more stoic or expressive, independent or collaborative, physical or mental, intuitive or logical, etc. etc. in infinite combinations is really personal choice, aptitude, preference and experience. You do get to define your own self.

Guys who most other people would accurately describe as "pigs and monsters" aren't doing well at being a high functioning human, let alone a specific gender thereof!

[lilcreecher]

I think of it as taking care of those that have to be taken care of. Putting themselves in a position where they can do good for the world. And finally being a man is understanding that your life may be important but it is as important as the "things" you are willing to give it up for.

[radcliff]

Someone who identifies as a guy. That's really all there is to it. Stereotypes are worthless and keep people in boxes.

[fishin fool]

Being a guy/man is being a kind and loving father and partner.
Also being a man is someone that would fight or die to protect his loved ones.
Being a man is a firm handshake that lets people know your word is your bond.
Being a man is having a heart for others and helping when he can.
Being a man is so many things it's hard to make a list.
Like others have said being a man is your interpretation but being a man is NOT a
a guy who hits his loved ones or doesn't make time for his kids or is afraid to
show emotion.

[Takeshi]

Originally Posted by fishin fool

...

Being a man is so many things it's hard to make a list.

...

This covers most of what a guy is, possibly. So I've noticed that the sticky on upper directory was all cleaned up and closed like an order that says "Lights out!" Many things in life make a man act stupid, the words and the actions will definitely be on that list. "I'm doing you a favor, no strings attached." that would be my translation. Let me forget all this and learn some history with y'all.

wikipedia.org/Gunpowder_Plot

wikipedia.org/Guy_Fawkes_mask

guy(n.) "grotesquely or poorly dressed person,"

[RichardBrooks]

Being a 'man' is forging your own destiny, standing up for what you believe in, braving adversity, caring for others, overcoming and not bragging, crafting a legacy, saying what you mean and meaning what you say.

[Takeshi]

Originally Posted by radcliff

Someone who identifies as a guy. That's really all there is to it. Stereotypes are worthless and keep people in boxes.

For everyone's references, the OP asks what's cool about manhood. A guy is a colloquial term for men and women, it's becoming gender neutral.

I was looking up Generalizations v. Stereotypes and my computer crashed, so I'll keep this short. Generalization is born out of empirical analysis and it's often helpful, it does not need to be judged by its literal truth-value. So all the good things that we can talk about manhood doesn't monopolize those said great human qualities, plus eliminating vocabulary with mankind's history behind would be a sad thing and if we did that, that wouldn't be a human progress.

The way I see it, if we keep talking about great super awesome men's traditional qualities, there won't be anything left that distinguishes between manhood and womanhood (because we've been always cooler!!). Men from the same hood should be able to jest each other just about anything, even the ones that women mock about manhood, including stuff that they call stupidity. Something separates boys from men, but that's not on the agenda here. Boyish stupidity should be intact in every man, that's just my opinion.

So, I keep my promise, this is a lot shorter version than original draft that's gone by now, and I'll leave you true gentlemen with a question.

How about that 'bros before h-h-h-women'?

ETA: You guys drive a motor vehicle better, you fix something, there's your bragging right! If things don't get appreciated, that's not your problem, man. Well, whoever drives stick shift knows about how manual trasmission works so you can scratch that. There was this girl who I'd never seen at a repair shop for boots and bags and stuff, I was expecting to see a guy, my usual guy wasn't there. It was a little awkward moment, and yeah, she missed something I remember that!

[emgreen]

Originally Posted by Takeshi

Well, whoever drives stick shift knows about how manual trasmission works so you can scratch that.

You've been "driving your stick" too much...as in engaging in mental masturbation. While I agree with your primary point, you seem consumed with impressing yourself with excessive verbal diarrhea. Better stop that mental masturbation or you'll go blind.

[Takeshi]

Originally Posted by empath301

Has to be more than one's anatomy. It has to be a lot of things maybe. I've asked this question a lot. My Mother told me that men were pigs, monsters, had an anatomy that was unculturred compared to that of women. In resume men were disgusting human beings. Mother told me I'd be an adult when I became like her. Of course that never happenned. I have ceased contact with her because she has bevaviors that would be expected from persons with antisocial personalities, such as psychopaths, sociopaths, etcetra. Now I'm asking what manhood really is. Wolf whistling after pretty women is not my thing. The beauty I look for is the inner beauty. And women do have brains....at least some of them do. But what is this thing about manhood that is so COOL? Just wondering. I'll block anybody that gives me stupidity as an answer. My childhood was pretty abnormal after all. Thanks for reading and responding.

I think manhood is a word that belongs to men, and only men can define its meanings. Dictionaries are for everyone of course, so they have watered down version of definitions. I respect the work though. So your mother, my mother, any other women in the world can have opinions about the word manhood, I would think they are always wrong.

[Takeshi]

Originally Posted by emgreen

You've been "driving your stick" too much...as in engaging in mental masturbation. While I agree with your primary point, you seem consumed with impressing yourself with excessive verbal diarrhea. Better stop that mental masturbation or you'll go blind.

That's clearly an insult, but it never works for me. So to save moderators from wasting time, I'll let this slide for this one time. And I really don't mind since I'm not offended at all, besides I haven't read your posts much, I'm looking forward to it though. I'm a guy with set of balls, that's manhood right there. I ain't sucking or licking none of your body parts, you take care of yours and keep masturbating if that's what you're into. If I go blind, I'll still be a better man than myself.