Peri-Menopause, can I help my wife? Everyone, including wormen are welcome to comment

After 20 years together, 3 kids and a good life together, I find myself without any way to communicate to my wife. The monthly swings of PMS are nothing new, and as a man - something I cannot relate to; but a fact all men have learned to live with.

But recently, this out-raged behavior (as my wife hits mid-40's, rounding to 50's) is unbelievable.

The research I have done all indicate perimenopause, or beginning full menopause. But, the mear mention of this sends her spinning into denial and more rage, how could I be so insensitive. The kids, me - we are all to blame, and being told we don't understand - it is all our fault for driving her crazy and disrespecting her.

I urgently suggested she immediately visit her doctor, or at the minimum, give some credibility to the fact, and do some internet research. Also, I told her that maybe talking to her friends, her sister or her mom, may help...but she is not listening, and worse - ignoring any attempt I make at communication (and this out of spite).

The severity of these episodes are getting worse, about every other monthly cycle they escalate - and for the first time, I am actually afraid of the emotional state she got in just a day ago. I do not want to embarrass her by calling her OBGYN directly to make an appointment for her, nor to I want to be 'talking out of place' with her mom - about her (behind her back); but this is getting serious. If is was not so intense - it reminds me of the classic 'All In The Family' episode about Ediths' change, but this is definately not funny.

Our children and me are being told to leave, don't come home, or just go away - again, usually a passing moment; but something is different this time. I am not sure how I reach her, but I do know - this can't go on. Any suggestions?