[delphinen]

I'm Narcissistic and I bet everyone in their lives at some point is. But because I'm Bipolar I get extremely motivated and feels I can do anything if I want to in my life when I'm like this. I know it will come depression after this ends, but while I'm feeling like this... I love it. People who helps me and usually explains me things, it gets totally the contrary and I left the people with their mouths open don't knowing how to disagree with me or prove their point.
I also get totally charismatic, my reflexes are a lot better, and I am... smarter. Could it be possible? I would say it is only me thinking I'm being like this, but socializing with other people proves me right. They say I'm like another person, that I'm incredible better, etc etc; they don't know I'm in my maniac state.
Opinions?

[Travelinglady]

Yes, mania can lead people to be more outgoing, etc. Of course, the danger is that it can lead to undesirable, unrealistic behaviors such as overspending.

I suspect there are not many threads here because many people don't want to accept a diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder!

[delphinen]

That's what I think too.

If you're only narcissistic when you're manic, you're not a narcissist. They usually have to rule out another disorder before they diagnose a PD... I'm vain, unsympathetic, & grandiose even when I'm depressed. Perhaps even moreso to compensate for how ****** I feel!

I don't post much here because my problems, until recently, have been quite minimal. That & no one else usually visits so what's the point? Glad to see a new face here.

[AzureRain]

I need an npd to help me sort through some behaviors, if anyone is willing... pm is fine if forum shy.

A forum shy narcissist? Hahahahaha

Spill & I'll see if I can be of assistance.

[AzureRain]

My coucilor and husband insist my mother is a narcissist but she doesn't fit the norm. I'm trying to find something that I can read that says to me, "oh god! That's her". The two constant motivators for everything she does fit but, not much resemblance in behavior. The former is what my therapist has keyed into.

My mother:
Never does anything that, to her, is an inconvenience. She will give so much (money, time, attention) that she appears selfless but, she's definitely not because she will turn on a dime and become overtly self-focused. What was fine a minute ago can suddenly be the trigger for observable inner turmoil the next. If she feels inconventianced, or put out in any way, she will not accept whatever, or whomever, has stir her discontent. Obligations, decency, social rules, loyalties will show little importance as she inforces or imposses upon others the burden of her discontent. At one extreme she will do whatever it is begrudgingly because there is no choice but, those that are around will "feel" her wrath. She won't say a word about what's going on. Instead, she's observably agitated, will not make eye contact, and will not respond to you, which is good because her next level is more confronational. Mean glances, sharp jabbing comments, and snide remarks accompany what I've just discribed if she is upset with you, even when you've done nothing. On the other extreme she is capable of doing the worst of rejections. For example, her way of dealing with nornal behavior from me at ages 17-18 was to force me to get married so that I would become "his problem".

At that, punishments for stirring her discontent and inner turmoil come down to this:
She will withhold love, attention, and pleasantness. She will give the silant treatment while noticably seething, outright reject you, verbally cut you down, or get threaten banishment (or actually abandon you temporarily).

There's always an ulterior motive to her generosity and often strings attached. With me, I will repay her "help" with such unreasonable expectations that I feel I repay with my soul and the consequences for not agreeing or not repaying are harsh and long-term.

You absolutely can NOT believe anything differently than her. You will be punished.
She's two-faced and will deny saying what the other has repeated back to you.
She gives impossible choices and then backpeddles. For example, she told my son he had to choose between her and his girlfriend (the mother of his child) and then back tracked to say she "just" wasn't welcome inside the house anymore. (Her and I have been banished to the curb while our men go inside to deal with her).

She is the queen bee of the family. She's the head, she's the one we all revolve around, all need approval and permission from and she's the one who keeps everyone behaving properly. She is a ruler of a small clan.

She's vain. She's materialistic. I was trained to know how to seduce a man very early in life (age 3) because she (and my dad) objectifies woman and she objectifies herself. She hates men but will treat them as if they are above her. She treats woman like she's superior to them. She'll compete sexually with me and has made advances at my husbands (plural).

Despite all of this, she's usually cordial and friendly. She was affectionate when I was little. She can be doting. She makes things fun. She'll fight your battles. She can be genuine. Mostly, she's approachable and you really want to stay in her favor and its such a shock when you fall from her graces. Saying all her bad stuff really makes her sound narcissist but, I know typical narcissm. My first husband and Grandfather were NPD (undiagnosed).

Despite all of this, she's usually cordial and friendly. She was affectionate when I was little. She can be doting. She makes things fun. She'll fight your battles. She can be genuine. Mostly, she's approachable and you really want to stay in her favor and its such a shock when you fall from her graces. Saying all her bad stuff really makes her sound narcissist but, I know typical narcissm. My first husband and Grandfather were NPD (undiagnosed).

Sounds to me that she fits the bill!!! We do things that will sometimes not make sense, as you stated above she can be fun, genuine and fight your battles. As a "N" I know first hand what people thing is genuine is far from it. We do things that people think are for someone else when in fact its for our own good whether mentally or physically. When I let people in my family know that this is my "DISORDER" they tried to do the pat me on the back and explain things I do that show I have empathy and look to help others. As I am trying to refrain from my norm, I heard what they said and as soon as they left I told my wife that I do the things that they believe is for them when in fact its for me. The crazy part is she understood this completely(Been together for 17 years). The traits your mother shows is of an "N". The leader of the pack, the way you all feel that you need to tiptoe around, the coldness and being so easy to shut you out. Classic case which im sure she also does is when you show happiness or some level above she will take it away and turn your good moment into a bad one. I guess what im getting at IMO she is this, so much that with all the signs in your face you still question it. We can make people read our made up dictionaries of definitions and believe that this is the truth. Make a "normal person" feel like they are the crazy ones. There is only one kind of people who can do this and that is us.

[QUOTE=Shayatanica;3034350][FONT=Georgia]A forum shy narcissist? Hahahahaha

LOL good to see some sense of humor here!!!!

Originally Posted by Underground

LOL good to see some sense of humor here!!!!

It's been known to happen.
Interesting to see you treading elsewhere from PsychForums. Bored yet?

Originally Posted by Shayatanica

It's been known to happen.
Interesting to see you treading elsewhere from PsychForums. Bored yet?

Funny do I have a stalker??? Just looking at new places although there seems to be a whole lot more of my kind over there. Here I see many "nons" talking of experiences our lovely selves give to them. I still decided to post a couple of things though.

Azure Rain:

Though personality disorders are usually thought of as "behavioural" or "social" in nature, the biggest indicator is what motivates whatever actions they take. Usually that is harder to decode so they label them based on the usual problems they create for themselves.
Normally with someone who acts in a self-serving manner but doesn't outright fvck up other people's lives, I'd say that they just have enough self-respect not to fall into the dumba55 expectation that they should sacrifice their own comfort for the sake of others.
But your mother clearly makes life difficult for the other people around her, especially if she has been generous... We can't make a diagnosis here, but she reads "egotistical" at the very least. Probably narcissist because she's at least done a good enough of a job to where you were none the wiser all this time.
Narcissists can give more than any empathetic person, if it will get them what or who they want. Narcissists can be more loyal [superficially, at least]. They can be fun. They can be the most decent & approachable people. But it's with a purpose -- if people trust or need you, you win.

Sincerest apologies for the late reply! Didn't seem like much of an emergency.

Originally Posted by Underground

Funny do I have a stalker??? Just looking at new places although there seems to be a whole lot more of my kind over there. Here I see many "nons" talking of experiences our lovely selves give to them. I still decided to post a couple of things though.

Nah, no stalker. I'm deifiedonmyback over there... Haven't posted on PF since a situation & public flirtation caused me a bit of trouble! Hahahahah the price of this site is that there is less of a community but you're more likely to get a genuine response back. PF is mostly a circus -- a small fragment of truth lodged in a pile of bullsh1t.

Originally Posted by Shayatanica

Nah, no stalker. I'm deifiedonmyback over there... Haven't posted on PF since a situation & public flirtation caused me a bit of trouble! Hahahahah the price of this site is that there is less of a community but you're more likely to get a genuine response back. PF is mostly a circus -- a small fragment of truth lodged in a pile of bullsh1t.

Got it!! That's why I'm here to test new waters btw digging the tool quote!! Although I must say I do get alot of amusement out of the "circus" every now and again...

Originally Posted by Underground

Got it!! That's why I'm here to test new waters btw digging the tool quote!! Although I must say I do get alot of amusement out of the "circus" every now and again...

Oh, the circus is great. Virtually endless amusement! Once I'm off my leash, I'll have to stop by again.

Gratzi for the compliment. Tool is one of my favourites.

[ihatedepechemode]

PF is full of trolls. I think some people there who say they are NPD don't really have it. Similiar to some of the antisocials saying they are psychopaths/sociopaths but really I think not. I like smaller communities better. Bigger is not always better.

[ihatedepechemode]

Plus one thing I have noticed is that a lot of the people claiming to be NPD are in their early 20's. Does anyone remember their 20's? You are still growing up a bit. You have gone through college, which in America is nothing more than an extension of high schol in mentality with a lot of people. YOu may or may not have worked before beyond McDonalds. You haven't truly lived. How can you be diagnosed as a narc when you are in a way creating yourself still, yet in a new way?
As I said before, most people there dont have NPD. Live a little.