I posted this in BPD because I kinda feel like that's home...not, evidently, according to my T....I need to share domains. FFS

So it's official...saw my T today and in addition to the BPD, the BP2...and the ADD that I already knew about for years...my god, my life is an acronym....now she thinks there is 'a possibility' that I'm NPD as well. She said it is not uncommon and after what I 'shared'....oh ffs....

she wants me to go on meds...suggests 'strongly' I go back to the psych doc that was recommended by the md I saw at the beginning of this fiasco...I've seen him a total of ONE time...long enough for him to recommend a T who was weirding me out worse than I do on my own...I found THIS T and she says, go BACK to him? So he can prescribe meds??? After I told her I don't want anything to do with them???

Irrational fear of drooling for no reason associated with the scent of a delicious food. Irrational fear of twitching, for no reason associated with being poked with a pin. Irrational fear of LOSING MYSELF and becoming a zombie...associated with taking meds. Yes, I'm not altogether rational, and yes I have issues...but I recognize them now so...can we skip the automatic 'put the b***ch on meds' and go to ...some useful tools to stop freaking out at a drop, hat or shoe.....or at least to help work through them? Just knowing there is a REASON helps...but ffs...do I have to medicate myself into oblivion to deal with it?????????

Sorry..ranting....wow that felt good. Wish I could have done that with my T but she would have, being as I'm new to her...locked me up, for sure. (sigh)

[Atypical_Disaster]

Personality disorders generally don't respond well to meds. Medication can treat other disorders that are on top of the PD, like the BP2 and ADD for example, but by and large the treatment of choice for personality disordered individuals is therapy. Medication can be of limited use, like to control the mood swings and anxiety that come with BPD and to some extent with NPD as well, but that's about it.

You can't get "locked up" unless you pose an immediate threat to yourself or others. You're not going to get locked up for having a personality disorder, or any other disorder, in and of itself. It doesn't work that way.

Medication won't make you lose yourself if it's used correctly, though I do definitely understand that fear.

Originally Posted by Atypical_Disaster

Personality disorders generally don't respond well to meds. Medication can treat other disorders that are on top of the PD, like the BP2 and ADD for example, but by and large the treatment of choice for personality disordered individuals is therapy. Medication can be of limited use, like to control the mood swings and anxiety that come with BPD and to some extent with NPD as well, but that's about it.

You can't get "locked up" unless you pose an immediate threat to yourself or others. You're not going to get locked up for having a personality disorder, or any other disorder, in and of itself. It doesn't work that way.

Medication won't make you lose yourself if it's used correctly, though I do definitely understand that fear.

Thank you....I was ....this weekend has been awful.....thank you for your response. It meant a lot. I just wish I could be less afraid.

Well welcome to the best club in the disordered world!!! I am on 30mg Adderall, down to 75mg wellbutrin(weening off from 300) and now on 20mg of lexapro. The medicine I get to help not with NPD but to get some better feelings/ emotions. At least that's why I started with wellbutrin but then found myself getting to angry at times. The lexapro is supposed to make me feel calm and even though I've been taking it for a little over a week I think I already feel better (although may be placebo effect). I also see that lexapro is linked with narcissistic side effects so who better to take this other than one of us LOL!!! My ways worked for me for nearly 40 years up until I realized what my issues were. I was diagnosed with ADD at 36 years old by Pdoc and NPD the same age by myself. My new Pdoc has also categorized me as NPD as well. The craziest part of it is that I don't even get into my real ways with therapy and Pdoc as I truly believe that anyone other than "us" can really understand it. To sum it all up I use medicine to get things inside that I have never been able to not to cure my disorder, maybe just to tame it.

Originally Posted by Underground

Well welcome to the best club in the disordered world!!! .........as I truly believe that anyone other than "us" can really understand it. .

So true! Thank you!!!

as I truly believe that anyone other than "us" can really understand it. .
I meant nobody

[DangG]

maybe some can, but they will never accept it, or will prob never believe in you or have a confident based 'normal' relationship. we are disguised psychopaths

[Atypical_Disaster]

Originally Posted by DangG

maybe some can, but they will never accept it, or will prob never believe in you or have a confident based 'normal' relationship. we are disguised psychopaths

Psychopathy and narcissism are not the same. Similar in some respects yes, but not the same thing.

Originally Posted by DangG

maybe some can, but they will never accept it, or will prob never believe in you or have a confident based 'normal' relationship. we are disguised psychopaths

I don't understand what you mean here. Maybe some can? I assume you are saying that if we were to open up to somebody about our issues and they may or may not accept it, or just not be able to be themselves around us? Hey Dang I remember when you first came here and the questions you had. Now you are just going with us being psychopaths? It must be someone you opened up to allowed you to feel this way. I agree we are a little nuts and twisted but not to the extent of being disguised psychopaths full on I would accept some psychopath tendencies though!!! You must not mirror the negative things a portrayed reflection is telling you.

[DangG]

ok, i guess "disguised psychopaths" was a wrong comparison.

and yes I agree that if persons know you are disordered like this it can be very damaging for the relationship and it is obvious that the person will avoid you, unless we are talking about family or long term friends or other close people, but even for those it will be very hard to handle; and all this after they can understand what really is our disease, cause to be honest not even I sometimes can.

Originally Posted by Underground

as I truly believe that anyone other than "us" can really understand it. .
I meant nobody

Funny, I knew exactly what you meant..didn't even realize the typo until you added this correction pffft

Originally Posted by DangG

but even for those it will be very hard to handle; and all this after they can understand what really is our disease, cause to be honest not even I sometimes can.

I'm with you on that. My wife at times when we are in an argument will now say i'm crazy, a psychopath, split personalities, a narcissist and so on. I guess when they know it becomes easier to point fingers. I also understand not understanding!!!