You know you're a Narcissist when...

This.

You also know you're a narcissist when... For some reason, your supply has something going on in their life that distracts them from what's most important [myself, obviously!], & you begin to plot how to make their life miserable unless they come back. And then make them feel responsible for the results of their negligence & stop wanting them when they express their weakness or guilt.

Exactly.

This may be unwise socially, but is it really narcisism?

Very interesting post.

Adderall helps me be interested in other peoples trifling concerns. People like me better on Adderall. I didn't realise I was aloof and snooty until I realised on Adderall I take a lot more interest in other people, and enjoy making small talk or just observing them and making pleasant eye contact with them.

So is that narcissism or adhd?

I was a gifted kid who enjoyed friendships with older boys but who found kids my own age babyish and retarded. Ive had similar attitudes toward "most people" all my life.

Hmmm. I don't know. I thought that one of the NPD traits was arrogance.

Symptoms

Some people diagnosed with a narcissistic personality disorder are characterized by exaggerated feelings of self-importance. They have a sense of entitlement and demonstrate grandiosity in their beliefs and behavior. They have a strong need for admiration, but lack feelings of empathy.[5]
Symptoms of this disorder, as defined by the DSM-IV-TR, include:[1]

• Expects to be recognized as superior and special, without superior accomplishments
• Expects constant attention, admiration and positive reinforcement from others
• Envies others and believes others envy him/her
• Is preoccupied with thoughts and fantasies of great success, enormous attractiveness, power, intelligence
• Lacks the ability to empathize with the feelings or desires of others
• Is arrogant in attitudes and behavior
• Has expectations of special treatment that are unrealistic

I'm sure my friends, family, and acquaintances could tell you that I exhibit plenty of arrogance. I just wish I understood how to hide it a little better.

I know I also feel tortured at times, because I'm afraid that there might be something basically wrong with me. I mean, how do you learn to empathize with the feelings or desires of others? It seems like that would either be something you have, or something you don't have.

and now I'm in this weird twilight where I'm not sure if I'm NPD or not. If I am, and I think I sometimes empathize, then from what I've read, and heard, I don't really empathize, I just think I do.... and if I'm not NPD, then perhaps I really do empathize... and I'm just being overly judgmental of myself... I just don't know.

I'm having a bad day. Right now, I wish I'd never heard of NPD.

LOL I know how your feeling as I too have been in a dark place trying to figure things out... Like the saying goes, this too shall pass!!!!

Thanks.. The worst part is, sometimes I think my T was ****ing with me when he suggested I might be NPD.
That rat-bastard.

And I'm starting to realize that I'll probably end up with a B in my ethics class. I'm used to getting easy A's.

Therapist read from a book. No actual experience with who we are, pretty much same as us knowing empathy. We can read about it, understand what the definition is but we can't feel it. Same for therapist in regards to us. Easy to say we are this and that but in the end after deep thoughts and time alone with ourselves the truth comes from our self!!!!! I did enjoy toying with my T give it a try it's very entertaining.....LOL

Hahahahahaha, same here!

I tried toying with mine, but it got to be too painful...
I think he's had plenty of experience with arrogant, difficult people, NPD's or otherwise. He's been around the block a few times.

Maybe I'm just an unusually arrogant pwBPD traits.... I'm just all too aware of my own pathology..

I also know I just found out that my mother has breast cancer, and I'm numb as to how that makes me feel, and I don't plan on doing anything to help. I did tell my dad that I was sorry to hear about the diagnosis.

I know the feeling of numbness all too well. Going through that with my family in the past year with many medical issues. As far as the toying part keep in mind that simple things really get to them, for instance something as simple as eye contact. Look away when you speak and see what happens...... Then disagree with all his or her input and let them know that you cannot understand their ways of thinking. Things like this make it fun because there expecting anger and they too seek what they do somewhat for themselves!!!!!

Been there, done that. and it's true. I don't always understand what it is he thinks he's trying to do to help me. There were times in the past, when I thought he'd just given up, and decided to bring as much pain to our encounters as possible. That's when I left.. 5 years ago. Now I'm back.

How about when you sometimes realize what a pain you are, and you want to tell people, " if you knew what I've been through, you'd feel differently about me? "

And you resent the fact that you have to work on issues like NPD traits, and take responsibility for them, when it is events that you couldn't control that caused you to become what you are today?

And you wonder if the above are healthy attitudes, because when you think about life that way, then you're not taking responsibility for the pain you've caused others?

So, can you tell me a wiser way to deal with this issue? Sometimes people get angry for stupid reasons.... sometimes people just get angry because they want you to act in ways that they find acceptable. And who are they to judge what is acceptable or not? Hell, I've had people get angry because they didn't like the price I put on a product I have for sale.. what kind of sense does that make? Do they really think I'm going to lower the price, because I'm afraid that if I don't, they will continue to be angry at me? I don't give in to threats.

You know you're a Narcissist when...You read an old forum you posted in, you thank others for their posts and when you read your post over, you instinctively want to hit the "thanks" button because the post sounded so good! Only to discover...huh? No "thanks" button? Oh yeah, I forgot, it's probably abnormal to give thanks to yourself I guess .

Sorry, I couldn't resist, haha.

Your comments are interesting in that I recently decided that I have a problem with bragging. So, I made a decision to stop any and all bragging for a month. I also started researching bragging and why braggers brag.

One interesting article I came across suggests and encourages that we brag about ourselves, to ourselves. It is healthy and normal.

As long as you don't brag out loud .

But, joking aside, I've begun looking into this NPD, I think I have some of those traits. I went to a psych, he said I had Asperger's Syndrome (Autism spectrum disorder) after we delved into my childhood.

I'm genuinely not bragging now, but whilst being autistic, I am quite intelligent too. This means at places like university and such, I was always that "annoying" (in other people's eyes) guy that put his hand up to answer the questions in class or scored the highest on the tests, etc. But, in my opinion, why should I shut up or do badly just because other people are too shy or too stupid to answer. I mean, geez, in question sessions they sit there all silent, nobody could be bothered to answer. I can see the professor's disappointed face - he feels like he's been wasting six months explaining everything and nobody could care to listen. So I figured, screw that man, why, if I know the answer, must I shut up just to protect other people's feelings? I must fail like everyone else does, because that's the acceptable thing to do in their eyes? But, seriously, does this make me a narcissist? I just hate being labelled if it doesn't apply to me. Other people say it's normal to fail, to lose. I hate losing and failing. I mean, I can't help it, it's just me. I'm also not one of those people who say "Oooh, this is too hard, or that is too hard", I am not frightened by challenging questions or work. And, also like those times when something is presented to a group of us one at a time, you know, a "colleague" (fellow student in my case) would come up to the others and present them with a "problem" that needs solving, they all sit there, flummoxed. Now I know already what's coming. They come to me last, as usual. Not long, they knock on my cubicle door "Uhm...Adrian...Hi...Yeah...I was wondering if you maybe knew how to do this..." I look at it, I say "Yeah, it seems you just do X, Y and Z, and...voila...yeah that works! There you go my dear (it's usually a girl)". Immediately I can sense the hate and jealousy. But, I mean, does this make me a narcissist? People see this and they think I'm on a power trip. But, they asked for my help for goodness sake! What the hell do people actually want? Must I say "Oooh, no, sorry, that's too hard for me" without even trying first? That's stupid in my book, and is in my eyes a fail immediately if you don't try, and as I said before, I hate failing.

Yeah, I don't know guys, I'm confused. Maybe I have NPD, I don't know.

^ I can relate in some ways.. I was also very shy in high school, and I've been encouraged to try harder to socialize... I also just want to get out of the shy box I was in. So I did things very similar to what you are saying.. The only problem is, the response I usually get is an unspoken "who the hell do you think you are?" and even people asking for help, with insincere comments like "wow, you must really know what you're talking about" , and then mocking my attempts to help them.

Stbguy, I just figured. this one out for myself. Your intelligence is the problem. You are bored by your colleagues. No shame in that. Your brain is just calibrated to more interesting things. What you dont know is that they feel slighted by your pack of interest in them. To them it is as horrifying as their blank sullen faxes while the disappointed professor tries to engage them in class.

I've found adderall helps me take an interest in "little people" and once I can engage I really like them, then they like me (I'm a nice lady) and there you go.

Ive also had a lot of therapy opening my heart again after trauma.

Im off Meds zt moment and hope I made sense.

All "gifted" people have narcissistic traits. It dies not necessarily reflect pathological narcissism or even narcissistic wounding. High potential requires a bit more self absorbtion and time. We find all minds of things as interesting as culled simpler minds might find sex or food. In other words we have more and steonger bilogical imperatives. We are natually distracted from boring people and things and drawn into our own more stimulating worlds. Others can pathogise this as narcissism, attention déficit, or aspergers/autism but plain out giftedness might account for it all.

Enhancing dopamine makes me more sociable and interested in others, so that I get more pleasant social interaction, feel less estranged from the world, and can have social contacte and friendship or at least paldom like normal people. Its a good thing. ts important to be able to connect emotionally to others. Even doctors and nurses reapond better to someone who is emotionally engaged and engaging.

Its a shame for gifted people to get pathogised but we do. Study shows some psychologists are overtly hostile to us. I dont know why. It explains a lot about my experiences with psychogists though, lol!

The only terms the laymen knows about the brain: SSRI, neurotransmitters, dopamine and serotonin. They know nothing else lol.

Teacake looks like Sheldon Cooper's got one over on you in the gifted + narcissistic department. He's multi-talented!

Gingy, there is an ignore feature you can use to avoid having to read my posts. I believe it would be convenient for you to do so. I discuss gifted person issues in the context of gifted people having healthy traits that overlap narcissim, borderline, and attention déficit. I dont mind your comments at all, I find them instructive, but perhaps you are distressing yourself. Please do good self care and consider asking a los for help If you would like to set me to "ignore". I dont want to be the cause of your inconvenience or distress.

Of course you may choose to read my stuff. It may even apply to you. Please take no offense that I dont respond to your snark when I'm not in that mood. Its not personal.

Pfft! Bright patients are always keeping mediocre pdocs informed about newer research. Its appalling how little interest some people take in their own profession.