Anyone Else Under the Impression that Change Can Be Good?

I do have lasting friendships, with quite a few people actually. My definition of what "friendship" and "closeness" means is different yes, and I'm okay with that. A couple of my closest friends are also Antisocials. The other friends I have are understanding of my nature.

How did that come up in conversation (that you each have aspd)?

Lol, exactly!

Hehehehehe, you understand me well. I like that, very refreshing.

It started like any friendship would, we just started talking and over time we figured each other out. Eventually we all had a, "I called it" moment with each other about having ASPD and we laughed.

LOL. I honestly have the same problem.

But, there have been some people I dumped.... who were really good people... and I regret getting them out of my life.

I wish I could fix whatever it is that makes me get rid of the good people along with the bad.

Don't get me wrong... there are a lot of a-holes out there... and I have no use for them... but, I've also met some people who are worth knowing.

ahhh that makes sense. It sounds fun too, I've always wanted to meet someone else with ASPD but at the same time, i feel it'd end with me reverting back to my "almost in jail" days. There's only so many times you can pull the depression card to get probation instead of jail

That made me literally lol.

I don't think the third time is the charm in this case But yeah, I was facing 3 years so I went into a psych ward for 3 days (f that place, but worth it) and then came out and started therapy, went to court, pleaded my case that I wasn't capable of thinking coherently at the time because of my "illness" and made it look like I improved considerably at each court date. It's amazing what you can be capable of...I don't think I would have thought up that one if I wasn't the way I am

EDIT: Oh yea, 3 years down to 1 year probation with my record expunged after i completed it. Boo ya!

You said at first that he thought you may have traits. Now you imply he said the full disorder.

Which is it?

nope.. I did not imply anything of the sort...

and my T never did.

It would be nice to find my true talents....Grandiosity is useless and embarrassing.

Expecting to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements is embarrassing.

Perhaps it's more accurate to say that "if someone admits to having a NPD, then that means they don't actually have a NPD".

I agree with you, someone with true NPD is highly unlikely to 'know' they have a problem. If told they would rage and reject such a ridiculous suggestion.

PDs are difficult to treat because, the truth is they are often a innate (inherited) part of a person's personality.
Like brown or blue eyes.
Latest research suggests 63% of personality/intelligence is inherited. Ones environment will have great impact of course, mitigating or exacerbating difficulties.

People 'diagnosed' NPD, people who recognise they have problems most likely have NPD traits, learnt from PD parents. Therapy can help.

^Thank you.. I certainly hope so. I see no point in being diagnosed, if there is no hope.

Can you share the source for the 63% is inherited? I hadn't heard that before.

This turned completely into something else. I'm not necessarily "proud" of my NPD (maybe I've said that wrongly), I'm proud of self, and NPD is just another aspect of myself - therefore, I accept shamelessly. I am a narcissist.

There are some traits I would like to be rid of. But I think I'm very high functioning despite it, and I don't want to completely rearrange my personality.

The point that PD's might not even exist is a really good one. I try not to read too much into diagnosis. It may be useful (I'm not denying that), but it gets people upset.

I'm sorry if I hadn't been clear on any of that.

I completely understand that I am NOT my diagnosis. I'm a person... I have value.. I have no problem admitting that.

Behaviour problems, self-efficacy and personality aren’t just down to the environment: they are also partly inherited.

Overall, the study found that 62% of differences between children on their exam results at around 16-years-old could be explained by heritable traits.
Academic Achievement: You Inherit More Than Just Intelligence From Your Parents ? PsyBlog

It's nature, not nurture: personality lies in genes, twins study shows - Telegraph

Its my opinion that PDs are largely inherited, I have read much on the subject, while trying to understand what was wrong with my mother, who never seemed the same as other mums. I discovered NPD, mother ticked most of the boxes. A light bulb moment.
Mother had not been abused as a child, and never ever admitted fault. Ever.

People frequently remind me of the grandiose statements I've made about my own abilities... it's embarrassing.

I've never met a Narcissist that has ever once been embarrassed by their grandiosity. Again, that is the nature of their disorder.

See, again.... I don't see anything in the criteria that says "if someone admits they are embarrassed... then that means they don't suffer from the disorder". If there is something I missed? do tell. but, I'll need references.

NPD or not... I'm grandiose.... and I'm embarrassed by it. Does the general public know that I'm embarrassed? No way..,

and honestly.. it's like phases for me... I can go through long periods of acting grandiose and omnipotent.. and then later look back on it and feel embarrassed.. but, that hasn't stopped me from doing it again. over and over...

You did in the very first post. I see absolutely no mention of 'traits' just 'a NPD'.

I have far more experience with your style of debate than I like and quite frankly I know I can't compete with it so I won't try.

However if you really are looking to change I would suggest looking over your interactions here.

Try to set aside this apparent need you have to be right and stop picking and choosing bits from the conversations that you can twist to suit your needs while ignoring the bits you can't.

Stop arguing for arguments sake and actually read what people are trying to say you.

The internet is a great place for sorting out differences and points of view. If something is misinterpreted... then it can set straight.... eventually.

My T never told me I had the "full-blown" disorder.

I'm not even sure what you think that means.

You will need to supply quotes so I can figure out what you're talking about.

But, we're getting off topic.... I'm under the impression I may suffer from a NPD. And I'm looking for ways to change.

I've been told that because I admit to being embarrassed... that means I don't suffer from the disorder.. I don't see anything that says "admitting to being embarrassed precludes a diagnosis of NPD". But, who knows, maybe you're right.

I've been told that because I appear to show some empathy, then that means I don't suffer from the disorder.. I don't see anything that says "showing any signs of empathy whatsoever precludes a diagnosis of NPD". But, who knows... maybe you're right.

I've been told that because I appear to have a lot of self-awareness, then that means I don't suffer from the disorder.. I don't see anything that says "showing self-awareness precludes a diagnosis of NPD". But, who knows... maybe you're right..

I've been told that because I act differently than other supposed "real" NPD's in this forum, then that means I don't have the disorder. First of all, I'm not even convinced that anyone on this forum IS a "real" NPD. Secondly, I don't see don't see anything that says "if the posters on the psych central forum say someone doesn't really suffer from the disorder, then they don't suffer from the disorder". But, who knows... maybe you're right..

Does anyone have any good reasons for believing the above? or are they just the opinions of random people in a pysch forum?

We've come back to just how one knows they truly suffer from a NPD. I'm not so sure anyone here can tell me.

I think I'll just continue to assume I probably do... and continue to look for ways to change my behavior for the better.

It really amazes me that so many people tell you to look deeper into what is written and yet you never acknowledge it. IN MY OPINION if you are embarrassed of your ways, can put yourself in someone else's shoes than you really don't fit THIS disorder. Especially that you work on lists and check marks. Sure you can have narcissistic traits and not have THIS disorder. This is not a place where we come and tell everyone how happy we are about being diagnosed(as much as you may think). This is a place were we can talk and have others understand. However people come here and start ruining things for others because of all the aggravation they cause. You have been called out multiple times by more than a couple of people here. I read about your childhood it seems that you brother is the narcissist and you are just a little co-dependent. You come here to fill your needs of being around Ns. It's your destiny, you were your brothers little slave. He owned you and now you seek the same from the Ns here. I fully understand you now, weak little trapped abused boy in a 47 year old body. You also wrote how you "emailed" your family about what your brother did. That's a real man there my friend. A person suffering with "our" traits would not of emailed a little cry baby story we would of been a lot more up close and personal. But it explains why you do what you do here, sitting next to a screen letting your little fingers push buttons to make yourself feel strong. Co-dependent is what you are, you need us and we don't need you. You opened this door the longer you stay the more will see. Lastly I so happy I finally figured it out, I'm also so happy that right now your so upset and hurt. My emotions grow so big when pain is caused. You just made my day!!!!!!

Thank you so much CO-DEPENDENT,
THE UNDERGROUND

Why do you want to be a NPD so badly? Why are you so certain? What's the draw?

That's a red flag for me.

It tells me there is a chance you don't really suffer from the disorder.

That's the difference between you and me. I don't want it...

You are absolutely sure you have it.

To me this entire disagreement revolves around the fact that some don't like that I suggest that I may have a NPD AND talk about my life the way I do.

While I don't like the fact that some on this forum think they get to decide who really is or is not a "real" narcissist... and just how a "real" narcissist is defined.

If I had any common sense, I'd probably just go somewhere else... but, I think I may be suffering from some kind of personality disorder that compels me to stay and argue..