Narcissists desire to be worshipped

I've heard this statement quite a bit, but I'm unsure as to what it means. What does it mean to be worshipped? What does it look like, and how does a narcissist behave and think when he/she perceives to be worshipped?

My 2 Cents:

Essentially the true self-esteem of a narcissist is extremely weak and fragile, so it requires a ton of compensating in order to feel comfortable with one's self. That's really it in a nutshell. It's about attempted compensation.

However, not all people with NPD are going to need all forms of compensations. A narcissist's false sense of self is entirely molded by their own personal perception of what it means to be "perfect", which is a perception they will form in childhood. For some, being perfect means knowing everything and being the smartest. For some, it's about having ultimate power and control. For some, it's about being super rich, or the most attractive person, or the most popular. For some, it's about being the most important and valuable person within a given context.

Basically whatever they felt they sorely lacked in childhood, their "false self" is going to be the opposite, their false self is going to be perfect and have it all regarding whatever one, two or three insecurities they had growing up.

Like where most people would feel comfortable having control over their own lives, some narcissists need to have control over EVERYTHING.

Where most people feel secure as long as people treat them right, some narcissists need to be treated like GODS.

Where most people feel confident in their intelligence if they can complete the tasks they need to each day, some narcissists need to be the SMARTEST PERSON IN THE UNIVERSE.

Where most people feel good when they are shown some appreciation, some narcissists need to be REVERED.

Where most people feel okay with having average looks, some narcissists need to the sexiest thing you've ever seen in your life.

My mother (who is has NPD) has the idea of perfection that includes
- Being a saint, morally flawless
- Being the smartest
- Having nicer things than everyone else

"Worshiping" her in a general sense is not required across the board, but if you want to not be on her **** list, you must make it clear that you see her as a saintly genius who has really nice clothes.

When you provide that compensation for a narcissist, for example by going on about how smart they are when the narcissist is one who needs to be the smartest, they interpret that as being like "worship" even though that's not what you're doing. But because it is feeding that deep, festering hole in their self-esteem, it feels glorious.

Wow, you've given me a lot of useful information, and a lot to think about. Thanks CopperStar!

Well said my friend, and the boldface is me to a "T", but I'm HPD and so far from what I can see, the difference between an HPD and an NPD is the whole empathy for others gig.

The funny thing about a couple of Narc men I have known- They are actually kind of unkempt and sloppy. That is the cerebral side of Narcissism.
They don't really like sex, or intimacy they prefer porn and masturbation. They want to seem like they are knowledgeable and worldly yet are unsophisticated and unintelligent.

The cerebral interested in appearing like an intellectual God. I also believe that they are usually ashamed of their homosexual feelings.

The Somatic Naricissists are more interested in conquering sexually. They are closer to HPD. They want to appear attractive and adored.

This is just my humble opinion.

Don't believe all that 'false self stuff'
My NPD mother was a happy bunny. Takes all sorts.
Narcissism.
Mother stayed well, everyone else got treated.
There only one thing that's makes a pathological narcissist. A innate lack of empathy.
Extrovert or even interovert it's the same. No empathy. Born that way.

Thats my experience.

Narcs do need to be worshiped, obeyed. Without empathy and only aware of their own emotions they cannot understand why it's not all about them, anything else is an insult.
Mother sat on her throne. Her voice endlessly heard, a micro controller, a despot. She loved it!

Sent from my SM-N910F using Tapatalk

Hmm... I don't know if that's true for all narcissists. I can see why a covert narcissist would develop a "false self", and that somewhat makes sense to me based on what I know about them.

Are all narcissists incapable of empathy, or would that depend on how extreme their narcissism is? I recall reading an article that suggested that narcissists can feel empathy, when prompted to do so.

Its my opinion from my own experience.
I believe my mother was born NPD - without the ability to process empathy, wired differently (a problem with the Amygdala?)
Mother abandoned her first born baby, no reason she just had no interest in the child.
I now recognise this as 'maternal narcissism'

Mother did not bond or feel that rush of love most mothers feel. The child was just another object, and a tiresome one.

I considered that maybe mother lacked oxytocin the love/bonding hormone.
But then l read that curing psychopaths had been tried by giving them oxytocin.
It didn't work.
In the control group given oxytocin extra activity was seen in the Amygdala on brain scans.
In the psychopath group, no extra activity. Suggesting that it's not a lack of oxytocin but rather a lack of neuro reseptors, so there is no uptake of the 'love' drug.

That why I do not believe all narcs 'suffer' they don't. They just dont/can't care about anyone but themselves.

A person with narcissistic traits, learnt behaviour can maybe change. I know someone like that.
He struggles with relationships hes so bloody spiky. Can be so quick to snap. Told me everyone was wary of him at work and he had no idea why.

Underneath he's a decent guy though and he can listen.
He has modified his attitude and people do like him now.
He's real funny too.


Sent from my SM-N910F using Tapatalk

I'm not an expert on narcissism, don't have NPD according to my therapist, but the DSM definition of NPD is pretty explicit and a desire to be worshipped is not on the list.

As Copperstar put it:

"Where most people feel secure as long as people treat them right, some narcissists need to be treated like GODS."

"Where most people feel good when they are shown some appreciation, some narcissists need to be REVERED."

I have worked very hard much of my life to have some understanding and appreciation for my late father who had many of the characteristics of someone with NPD. I know from experience with my dad about the fragile ego, as Copperstar described it. I loved my dad, sometimes hated him, was extremely frustrated with him and sometimes hurt -- hurt which I didn't really recognize or understand until after my own therapy.

I like and admire the two people in this forum who frequently post here and have said that they have NPD. Does NOT mean I worship them, and if they like to feel worshipping about themselves for their own reasons, doesn't bother me. Kind of makes me smile, remembering my own dad. But that's just my experience.

I'm diagnosed with NPD, and for what it's worth you don't strike me as a sycophant...

I've been through things in my life that have caused me massive amounts of pain, but I don't suffer because of my narcissism.

As far as the they can't/don't care thing... For me, I literally cannot care. Like, I'm completely incapable of caring for anyone besides myself.

Considering all you've been through you are remarkably resilient.
And so logical.

Sent from my SM-N910F using Tapatalk