Ok so I see that because of a reaction I may get a little too much at times. I know that part of recovery is to be able to step back and see when you were wrong. I have allowed my ways to come out and for that I was wrong. Not sorry, but wrong because I gave into what I am. To be better is to get by without reacting as I normally would. Next time I shall try harder, it's just so difficult for me to bite my tongue. Truth be told I have done this for a better part of my life. I speak what's on my mind in my real life and here too. Doesn't matter who the person is, when I feel the need it just happens this way. Uncensored and chaotic because my mind works much faster than my voice allows. Anyhow I was wrong for giving into my Narc ways, just a person with some tendencies I guess. One more thing, narcs can help other narcs. I've been on both the giving and receiving end and they have probably helped me more that any therapist or medicine has. So I will continue my sub-par posts and try better next time.

[Skeezyks]

[here today]

I haven't posted on this thread because I didn't want anybody else in the forum to think I am picking "sides". The only real side I am consistently on is mine and the side of the idea that people with narcissistic disorders can help each other. How to do that is the challenge, as has been said by others.

I believe it's entirely possible that we all have different roads to getting better. Being able to accept feedback may be an important thing for many. Seems like the OP indicates that and I have openly said that I would like feedback.

It seems also clear that people in this forum may have different ideas of what getting better may look like. Maybe one thing to consider is what are our goals for being "better". The primary one that I can think of for myself is that I would like to learn to be myself and still feel like I can get along with others -- or at least, some others and that I can have a fairly good sense of who might get along with me and vice versa. So for me, getting better also means trying, risking stepping on people's toes, getting feedback, and trying again.

Any other ideas?

[here today]

Ideas are where I go when I'm feeling narcissistically injured -- numbs out the pain and the aggressive energy can sometimes be used to try to understand things, maybe "fix" them. Yes, in a community you certainly can't "fix" anybody but (maybe) yourself, and that is certainly very hard enough. And the aggressive energy that fuels my thinking isn't so pleasant to be around.

So, when injured, so the theory goes at least, people with PD's are "rigid" and not flexible in the ways they try to build their sense of self (back).

Grandiosity and rage are one way, intellectually "rising above" is another, hurting people back who hurt you is another.

But, quite normally, some people whom you hurt aren't likely to want to be around you very much. And when the grandiosity that you use to help yourself feel better has a "know-it-all" quality (I'm speaking of myself as that being likely how I come off sometimes) that doesn't make other people feel so good either.

When I entered my last therapy I told the T that I could either be all about the other person or all about me. No inbetween.

That's what's missing for me -- a group of people, a "place", where I feel I belong where I feel accepted for myself, even when I mess up. Maybe I still get triggered and therefore not so pleasant to be around when I mess up because that used to get responses that said "you don't belong, I don't like you" when I was growing up. But looking to repair that situation with one T has apparently just been too much of a load.

I'll keep posting here, too. If nobody is fleeing or freezing (including freezing out others) or fawning, maybe we will get over the fight.

One of my favorite lines that I have used a few times in real life situations is," your either with me or against me". I laugh while writing this cause this is as narcissistic as it can get. I have felt this for much of my life and as I do know this is not right it's what I've always been about. Living in a world where this is not accepted is what makes it so difficult I guess. Truth is I cannot look at life with this ideal. It is not realistic and I will admit I have always felt this way here as well. I guess it takes time to sink in and see things for what they are. Why try to be the same here when In fact here is what can really help us more. Much more that any therapist has ever done for me. With that I will try a path that I have spoken of before. More than likely the falls will come but we can only keep standing tall and moving with one foot in front of the other. Control is so easy, letting go is not!!

[here today]

If you can laugh at yourself while both feeling "your" way and recognizing that it's not right, other people won't accept it of course -- That's definitely a step forward from disorder to tendencies in my book.

One foot in front of the other -- sometimes for me it very much ain't easy but the alternatives? Not so good either . . .

[Starlana]

Originally Posted by Underground

Ok so I see that because of a reaction I may get a little too much at times. I know that part of recovery is to be able to step back and see when you were wrong. I have allowed my ways to come out and for that I was wrong. Not sorry, but wrong because I gave into what I am. To be better is to get by without reacting as I normally would. Next time I shall try harder, it's just so difficult for me to bite my tongue. Truth be told I have done this for a better part of my life. I speak what's on my mind in my real life and here too. Doesn't matter who the person is, when I feel the need it just happens this way. Uncensored and chaotic because my mind works much faster than my voice allows. Anyhow I was wrong for giving into my Narc ways, just a person with some tendencies I guess. One more thing, narcs can help other narcs. I've been on both the giving and receiving end and they have probably helped me more that any therapist or medicine has. So I will continue my sub-par posts and try better next time.

I see you are still here stirring up trouble old friend

Originally Posted by Starlana

I see you are still here stirring up trouble old friend

It has been a while hasn't it?? I don't know if I would label this as trouble, slight misunderstanding maybe. HA HA HA!!! You know how it is, someone suffers with a title and then they are challenged. The title takes over and then there is the realization stages. Same old, same old. How have you been?

[Atypical_Disaster]

Your posts aren't subpar. That made me laugh.

[Booh]

"We have become a nation of victims, where everyone is leapfrogging over each other, competing for the status of victim, where most people define themselves as some sort of survivor. We live in a culture where more and more people are claiming their own holocaust. ..." -- Ofer Zur, Ph.D.

[Starlana]

Originally Posted by Underground

It has been a while hasn't it?? I don't know if I would label this as trouble, slight misunderstanding maybe. HA HA HA!!! You know how it is, someone suffers with a title and then they are challenged. The title takes over and then there is the realization stages. Same old, same old. How have you been?

I've been...well...the best I can be I suppose. Haha, trying to stay out of trouble as usual. And yes, it has been quite a while...a few years at minimum.