http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/01/21/i-love-me-aqa-about-narcissism/

From an article here.

Can narcissism be “cured”?

Maybe. It depends on the skills of the clinician. Most behavioral clinicians have difficulty knowing how to work with one. For an extreme narcissist to be “cured” he must want to heal and be willing to admit he is unhealthy. For most extreme narcissists, that is simply asking too much. For an extreme narcissist to want to change there must be a gigantic and earth-shattering series of events in their lives to break them of their grandiosity, extreme selfishness, entitlement, and self-righteousness.

Should an extreme narcissist be willing to be helped, the clinician must be skilled enough to find the wounds of his inner soul, help heal them, and replace them with healthy self-images and patterns for relational dynamics. The only kind of extreme narcissist that can be cured is a broken one.

FROM THE ARTICLE=
To want to change there must be a gigantic and earth-shattering series of events in their lives to break them of their grandiosity, extreme selfishness, entitlement, and self-righteousness.

Like for example a desire to change to be with the best relationship they have ever had with an amazing ex-gf.

And for this "inverted" narcissist I spent my whole life, mostly, genuinely wanting and believing and looking for "help" -- and then came up against clinicians who couldn't "help" me or stand me or . . .something. . .OK, is it because of their own wounds? Still. . .The (re)injury and rage remain, in me. And I believe it is justified. But . . . back to the quote from the article, if anybody hasn't accepted their own capacity for rage (and injury) then I can understand -- I have seen -- how it frightens clinicians. But darn it, THEY ARE THE CLINICIANS. HOW CAN WE THE CLIENTS ACCOMMODATE FOR THAT? HOW CAN WE BE EXPECTED TO FIND THE "GOOD FIT"! IT'S INSANE.

It's only going to get worse, people -- look at the two candidates we have for President in the US.

Wake UP! Accept your rage and the horrible injury that underlies it. And people who can't -- it's because nobody accepts you for who you are, with your rage and defenses and everything that goes with it!

PC has helped, my meetup groups have helped, my own motivation has helped, and who knows who/what else has helped.

But blaming narcissists has definitely NOT.

Sorry, Valentina, if I blasted this thread with my own frustration with therapy and "expert" authors writing about other people's narcissism.

I just saw the last statement in your second post, and -- trying to be supportive here -- I wonder if you would like my intuition about something which might help if a relationship with the love of your life is still a possibility of sorts? (E.g., he's not dead, happily married, etc.) Won't hurt my feelings (or our "relationship" ;-) ) if you don't want my idea, have tried it already, or know it won't work after I say it.

Deleted message

OK, I get that that is the "party line" put out by the clinicians, but it doesn't really seem that you are that happy with it. If you were -- what is the attraction for you to initiate this thread in this forum, for people with NPD and related disorders? Of course, you can initiate any thread anywhere you want, but I'm wondering if -- given your perspective and where you are coming from on that -- what would you think about asking the mods to move this thread to the Partners of People With Personality Disorders forum?

Sorry. Didn't mean to ruffle feathers.

No problem. But back to my question : Why did you start this thread here instead of in "Partners of People with Personality Disorders"?

Because it has to do with people with NPD. In the past, I have asked questions on here as a non. My FOO have a Least NPD if not more. I have dated people with NPD.

I have asked if it is OK to ask questions.

Posters have said they are bored sometimes on this Board.

Answers for me, supply for you. Win/win?

No, not supply for me. I got "supply" by being who others wanted or needed me to be, so then they thought I was "great" sometimes for being that.

Your posts sometimes seem to have a "barb" to them. Just my opinion and feedback. I can understand where that might come from and I have certainly risen to take the bait. Not so sure I want to do that anymore. But if you want to talk some more about your own struggles I am certainly game for that, if you want to try me. If you don't like what I say you can definitely tell me. Talk about your own narcissism, if you're aware of any, or OCPD, or. . . Something else?

No thanks. Sorry if it gets to you, I can leave.

Yes, it has gotten to me. I think that has been the point. It's called passive aggression. Maybe you're not aware of it, or maybe you are. Either way, I'm aware of my role in that and am not going to "play" any more.

Well, to be radically honest I am the "broken" narcissist that article described. I've had a series of truly terrible things happen to me over many years that slowly broke me down into realizing that if I don't own up to my behavior then I have a hell of a lot more to lose than my reputation or whatever.

My problem as I've discussed here a few times is that no professional seems willing or able to help me. I would love to get help. And ****, I've tried for years to get help. The result? It's all been for nothing.

So, I'm still on my own. Sighs.

Atypical is one of the people I converse with. The partners of people with PDs may be better. But I know the stories. I don't need support at this point. I want to know why people think and act the way they do. It is more of a trying to understand and accept so I can have some contact in my life with people that I may care about that have NPD.