[ShineOn]

Hi everyone. Does this sound like OCD to you? I will start worrying about something from my past, present, or the future and I can't seem to stop. Sometimes I will worry a lot about something that happened years ago, even though I worked it out at the time it happened. The thoughts just get stuck and I can't stop thinking about them. Many times I will work the same problem out in my head over and over as though I just can't remember how I decided that I was "okay" with this thought. I know the thoughts are irrational, but at the time I am obsessing it is like I have to think them through until I am certain that things are "okay". Many times, I will feel I can't get the house cleaned unless I find some way to work this obsession out in my head. It's almost like I do not feel I am worthy of a clean house until I make these thoughts go away. Sometimes the only thing that will help me is to confess these things to someone else. If they give me the wrong facial expression or say the wrong thing, it can make me even worse. That just really triggers me. The anxiety kicks in big time and I won't hardly leave that person alone until I feel I am "okay" again. I hate that part of whatever this is I have....I guess it's ocd?

I don't have any of the compulsive hand washing...etc. That's why I wonder what I have. I took the OCD test, and my numbers were in the 70's I believe...it looked real favorable that I have it. The obsessions I have are clear, but what are my compulsions? Does anyone know? I don't seem to have any of the classic ones.

Just so you know, I also have the odd sexual thoughts that often accompany OCD. Weird thoughts pop into my head that I can't seem to control, but the only difference between me and many of the others who talk about this problem is that even though I would never ever do any of these things, it isn't that there isn't some desire that accompanies it. Many people say that there is no desire there, but for me there is a desire, but I am sickened by it and know I would never ever in a million years do it. Sorry, I wish I could say what "it" is, but that would be too embarrassing for me at this time. Do any of the rest of you who suffer from the odd sexual thoughts, feel any desire along with it even though you know you would never do it? I feel so alone in this as I can't stop the thoughts, and want to so desperately. Or maybe it's that I tell myself that I have these desires so I can just feel worse about myself. I'm a mess, lol.

By the way, I am new here and I just want to say that the people here seem so caring. I was reading some of the posts and I couldn't believe all of the wonderful support I was seeing. Thanks everyone.

[Aunt Donna]

I have OCD and I have thoughts that keep going through my head, but I would do research constantly trying to calm the thoughts to reassure myself everything was okay. I was diagnosed by a professional though and see a doctor who prescribes me medication. I have to work on controlling it. It sounds like you have OCD to me, but I would get a professional's opinion. If you have any questions, let me know.

[ShineOn]

Originally Posted by faylowell

I have OCD and I have thoughts that keep going through my head, but I would do research constantly trying to calm the thoughts to reassure myself everything was okay. I was diagnosed by a professional though and see a doctor who prescribes me medication. I have to work on controlling it. It sounds like you have OCD to me, but I would get a professional's opinion. If you have any questions, let me know.

Thanks so much Faylowell! I'm so glad someone responded to my message. I was starting to "worry", that I might have offended someone by something I said. Worrying is what I do best...in a really obessive way. Yes, I have done the whole "research" thing too. Thanks for showing me that I am not alone. I really feel lonely in this sometimes because none of my family is like this, just lucky me, lol. I'm not trying to be a complainer, I just get frustrated sometimes. Thanks again for responding. I should probably look into getting diagnosed by a professional soon, but right now we don't have the money. You have been very helpful.

[thunderbear]

Hey Shineon. Welcome to PC. I have obsessive thoughts too. I was diagnosed OCD back a few years ago. I don't have any classic signs either. But people are differant. While you may have handwashing and cleaning compulsions, I may be a horder or someone who wont leave my room. It's diffeant for everyone. I know how hard the obbsessive thoughts are. A doctor can help you. They have medicines or if you don want medicines they have CBT therapy, which is what I'm gonna try. I don't want medicine either. Pills trigger my thoughts. I don' know why but they do. Good luck! I know how hard it is

[Aunt Donna]

Originally Posted by ShineOn

Thanks so much Faylowell! I'm so glad someone responded to my message. I was starting to "worry", that I might have offended someone by something I said. Worrying is what I do best...in a really obessive way. Yes, I have done the whole "research" thing too. Thanks for showing me that I am not alone. I really feel lonely in this sometimes because none of my family is like this, just lucky me, lol. I'm not trying to be a complainer, I just get frustrated sometimes. Thanks again for responding. I should probably look into getting diagnosed by a professional soon, but right now we don't have the money. You have been very helpful.

I don't know where you live, but here there is a place that will diagnose you for nothing and help you find help. That is where I went.

My OCD is inherited along with panic disorder. Yet my sister and I are females in our family it seems to ever go through menopause which is a whole other situation all together. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help.

[Berries]

Originally Posted by ShineOn

I don't have any of the compulsive hand washing...etc. That's why I wonder what I have. I took the OCD test, and my numbers were in the 70's I believe...it looked real favorable that I have it. The obsessions I have are clear, but what are my compulsions? Does anyone know? I don't seem to have any of the classic ones.

People diagnosed with OCD may or may not have compulsions. Some have obsessive thoughts without compulsions. Some have both. It is still considered OCD.

Hope that helps.

[thinker22]

Hi, I was reading this thread and starting to wonder if I have a compulsion but not necessarily an obsession. I do it constantly, which is washing my hands or putting on hand sanititzer all day long. I don't feel well or right unless my hands are cleaned, and half the time I do it unconsciously. Just what I do in between other things. If i go to touch any food, even if I just washed a second ago, I have to do it again. I figure I'm worried about germs and getting sick, but it's evolved beyond that to a ritual of security.

Does this make sense anyone? It totally creeps me out when I see people open a door to enter a restaurant, sit down, and start eating a piece of bread. I have hand sanitizer in my purse, my car, beside my desk and almost every time I get up I wash my hands for one reason or another, or just because it feels good. I have a cat (and I'm allergic to cats and dogs) so everytime I pet her I need to wash my hands, and after I use the bathroom is appropriate, but all the other times?

[Berries]

Originally Posted by thinker22

Hi, I was reading this thread and starting to wonder if I have a compulsion but not necessarily an obsession. I do it constantly, which is washing my hands or putting on hand sanititzer all day long. I don't feel well or right unless my hands are cleaned, and half the time I do it unconsciously. Just what I do in between other things. If i go to touch any food, even if I just washed a second ago, I have to do it again. I figure I'm worried about germs and getting sick, but it's evolved beyond that to a ritual of security.

Does this make sense anyone? It totally creeps me out when I see people open a door to enter a restaurant, sit down, and start eating a piece of bread. I have hand sanitizer in my purse, my car, beside my desk and almost every time I get up I wash my hands for one reason or another, or just because it feels good. I have a cat (and I'm allergic to cats and dogs) so everytime I pet her I need to wash my hands, and after I use the bathroom is appropriate, but all the other times?

I am no doctor but from what I've learned from my OCD therapist, it sounds to me like the beginings of OCD. Sense of safety or security from performing a compulsion and a sense of disgust &/or anxiety if you can't perform the compulsion are classic OCD. But it is also very, very common these days for people to be germaphobes and wash and use a lot of hand sanitizer. It doesn't nessesarily mean they have OCD. So, I guess it comes down to how much distress it causes you and how much it interferrs with your functioning--at work, school and or your personal relationships.
I hope that helps.

[bluzman]

Hi and welcome to PC, in support to your post, I have OCD and depression also. I have been combating the illness probably as child but properly diagnosed at the end of my career when I lost my job as a result of this, some 16 years or so ago and havn't really worked since.I have constant intrusive thoughts and checking.Some ocd ritualls are more intense than others some have remained permanent, and others come and go as other new ones become priority.Although through my whole course of my illness I have tried various medications (too many in my opinon) and techniques with a therapist, I can only encourage you to seek professional opinions concerning yourself and dont despair as I still believe there are treatments that work or take the edge off at least..Please feel free to post me any concerns or questions you have.Take care.

[mum2four]

Originally Posted by ShineOn

Many times I will work the same problem out in my head over and over as though I just can't remember how I decided that I was "okay" with this thought.
I don't have any of the compulsive hand washing...etc. That's why I wonder what I have.

That sound just like my OCD... I have heard fue people discribe there OCD this way. It's some times call pure O OCD as in pure obsession the compulsion is the way you obsess to make thing feel right. I got so bad that I was obsessing about cleaning my dishes (example) for up to 8 in one day with out being bale to make my self find a safe way to do them. In my head I was some how going to hurt my kids or my self while washing the dishes. I did not just have the obession I got intence intrusive images so intence that it was like a real photo in front of my face.
If you obsessing for more than a hour a day you can be said to have OCD, you sound like you have the fears that go hand in hand with OCD. Alot people think they are OCD but really dont mention anything about what they fear and thats is the key difference beteween just obsessive personality and OCD people.
I would seek help as what you discribe sound distressing and you deserve to feel better. OCD or not.

[mum2four]

Originally Posted by ShineOn

Weird thoughts pop into my head that I can't seem to control, but the only difference between me and many of the others who talk about this problem is that even though I would never ever do any of these things, it isn't that there isn't some desire that accompanies it. Many people say that there is no desire there, but for me there is a desire, but I am sickened by it and know I would never ever in a million years do it. Sorry, I wish I could say what "it" is, but that would be too embarrassing for me at this time. .

I wonder if you really desire it as you say it make you sick.... some time OCD can make you think things that are just not true... EG I hit a person with my can....I have to go back and check....they check and noone was there but they still feel strongly that it happened they cant get it out of there head it just there as constant thought telling I hit some one I know I did I have to check again. that why people with OCD repeat compulsion.
I use to strongly beleaive that I would run my self into wall and know my self out... then my kids would be alone.... then I would be a bad parent.... then I would have my kids taken away.... then I'd go crazy.... then I get locked up in a padded cell. All my obsessions always came to back being locked up in a padded cell(my worse fear). I also use to get intence sexual thoughts that i felt sickened by and i would take steps to avoide the possablity of them comeing true. I could never let my kids be naked for too long as my head would just give me a slide show of the worst things that I might do to my kids if thay were naked too long....I've never done anything bad to my kids or any kids. At the time it felt like it was posable and I would almost convince my self that by being with my partner sexually was some how really me abusing my kids sexually. at the time it felt so real but since being on meds I dont feel that way anymore. I still remember feeling that way in past and feel like a dream now. Like I've finally truly awake everything before meds feels like a really long and bad dream. i still see the images that use to scare me but they dont make me feel like a bad person. I know by action that I have never been a bad person it was just my thought make me feel that way.