[Cryptocrotic]

I'm not exactly sure how long it's been that I've had this problem. Definitely over a year, maybe multiple years, my memory gets fuzzy sometimes. Anyway, it's worsened quite a bit over the last year. I am not really sure if it's OCD or not, and I have not seen any professionals about it, but I can't stop picking at my skin.
I've never had the smoothest or nicest-looking skin, it often lacks moisture, and I've not always had the healthiest of eating habits, which is reflected a bit in the skin as well. I think this makes my skin especially susceptible to my bad habits. I pick and scratch, and the more I do it, the worse it gets.
Of course, I know it's common knowledge that scratching an itch only spreads rashes. That's exactly what's happened to the back/sides of my neck. It gets all red, bumpy, and irritated and hurts like hell. Not like an ahhh my leg got chopped off kind of pain of course but it's the constant nagging prickling pain that hurts just enough to keep your attention focused on it and give you an almost uncontrollable urge to do something, anything about it even though you know the best thing you can do is to do nothing at all. I do this to myself so easily. It starts by just a bit of an itch and before I know it I'm itching constantly, it becomes a mad urge, and there's a rash. But this at least is a simple matter of resisting the urge to scratch, as it truly does heal up just fine once I manage to stop.
My other compulsion is not so easily dealt with, in fact I haven't really managed to deal with it at all. The picking. It started with my face, like a normal person I would pop a few pimples or whatever. But it developed into a habit of constantly looking for them and obsessing over them. And when my face was no longer enough, I started on the upper parts of my arms. That was alright for a while, although my arms looked awful and I always did my best to cover them up when I was around people. Next I went to my forearms. That at least never got as bad as the upper parts. It seems that the more I pick, the more it spreads, as if my body just wants to feed my fascination. I got so obsessed that I started experimenting with it. I would stop in specific places for a while to see if it would stay spread or if that area would heal. My skin didn't used to be so rough and imperfect - I know that I've caused it myself by picking at it, but it confuses me because I really don't know why I started picking so much to begin with.
When my arms could no longer satisfy my urges, I went on to my shoulders, chest, belly, and legs. I pick at pretty much anywhere I can reach. I've managed to bring the arm-picking to a minimum, which has made me feel a little bit better in terms of being around people (since it makes it more invisible to them), but it seems that the less I pick at my arms, the more I pick at everything else. I just have to do it. Even though I'm sure my skin would heal and be much smoother and more attractive if I stopped, I feel like the only way to fix it is to keep doing it. Often times I do it even without realizing it. The only time I can control it is when I'm around people, as I am too afraid of someone finding out about it.
It is so bad I can't even make myself go a day without doing it. It is wrecking my self-esteem, as, when I'm going around places, I feel almost like I'm wearing a facade, like I'm hiding this ugly, awful secret under my clothes, and I feel so alone. I have not told anyone about it, at least not in real life. I am not prepared to show my damaged skin to anyone, and I know that if I just told a person, they would either think it's not a big deal and dismiss it or they would push me to get help and take some kind of medication, which I don't want.
Recently I have felt more interested in healing my skin, but I have not really found a way I can manage. I thought it might actually be eczema, but I'm not at all sure about that and I have social phobia, so naturally I would be too anxious to see a doctor. I thought about trying to find some ointment, but I am not sure where I'd get it and that ties in with the social anxiety as well. I thought about just trimming my nails so short that I simply can't pick at my skin, but, stupidly enough, I really like having nails that are long enough to actually do things with (like open things, etc.), plus I just like the way they look more when they're longer.
Another thing that has become entangled with the picking issue is hair-plucking. I have an unusual amount of hair on my belly, many of which are thicker, coarser hairs. So a while ago, I started researching ways to make it go away, and I found out that sometimes if you pluck hairs enough, the follicles can get too damaged to grow the hair back. Thus my plucking habit was born. Obviously it didn't work, and although I simply started shaving the hair to keep myself from doing it too much, I have especially fast-growing body hair and I just can't get it all every day. The plucking has been damaging my skin as well and seems to cause much the same issues as my picking.
This has been plaguing my mind day in and day out for so long. Being an extremely self-destructive person, I realize that it's my own fault and that this would probably all be fairly simple to fix, but I am just glad I can express my thoughts here, as I have never been able to do so fully. It is a vicious cycle - the more I do it, the worse it gets, the more I do it, the more I get depressed and hate myself, the more I do it, the more I can't talk about it, the more horrible I feel, the more I do it.

I realize this was a bit long, but thanks for reading

[whoisi]

Wow, I just read your thread and I felt like I was reading something that I wrote myself. I share the same exact story. I can't believe how similar it is to my situation. Like you were saying sometimes you don't even know you are doing the picking. My husband has like walked into a room where I am sitting there on the computer, watching tv, or reading as has said "stop picking" and I realize that I didn't even notice I was doing it. Also with the scratching all over my whole body, once I start in one area it moves to another area and by the time I know it my whole body is red and irritated. I at first started picking a few zits on my face and now I do it all the time just like you said in the different areas and stuff. I is pretty bad because I start on one spot and pick it so much then it scabs up and I just keep picking the scab off and then more zits appear and so on.
I have recently started going to group and individual therapy for other issues but now that I have read this story of yours and noticed that I am not alone, I think I may mention it to my therapist because I suffer from anxiety, social phobia and low self esteem and this issue may be adding to this phobia's. I am sorry that you are going through this, I know how you feel. I just want to stop and I am sure you do to. It is comforting to read that someone else knows what I am talking about, because my husband doesn't understand and that is why I try to hide it from him with makeup and it takes so long to cover all the spots on my body.

[Valentinedemorcerf]

For me, too, this is like reading my exact feelings. Even down to the hair plucking. A lot of the times it will take twenty minutes to more than an hour of my day. I went from having an occasional zit on my face and some blackheads or a very occasional one on my back a a couple years ago, to having moderate acne, to having severe cystic acne that has spread across multiple face, neck, back, and chest. I have keratosis pilaris as well so the picking extends to my arms and legs. Like you said, sometimes I don't even realize I'm doing it, like when I'm reading. Sometimes I literally can't leave the bathroom until I do it, or I will stand there and fight the urge for up to a half an hour before being free. I don't wear make up because my skin was really sensitive to start with, which means that make up just makes it itch, burn, or break out worse. I feel so ashamed. I hate swimming now (something I used to love doing), I can't wear tank tops, I won't wear shorts that show my thighs, and I don't even like wearing tops that are even the slightest bit low cut, even. My skin looks practically diseased. I hate to have my boyfriend touch me, even my face, because he could feel the scars. I'm afraid to wear flattering clothing around him because he could see the full extent of the damage I've wreaked on my skin. I was unable to tell him until only a couple weeks ago, and we've been together for four years now, and even then he nearly had to pry it out of me after I got it halfway out. I have a therapist but I'm so ashamed I can't even tell him about it.

Have you figured out any triggers, or possible reasons you pick? I tend to pick more when I'm anxious (which is often), but the difference isn't much. I think my mom got my started--when I was really young, I would have a single pimple on my face and she would express disgust and instruct me that I go pop it. She even still points out the really bad ones. (I actually have a really good relationship with my mother,so it's weird). She has a tendency to point out my weight as well, when I am actually quite thin.

I honestly have no advice but I thought I might let you know that you're not alone, because finding your post made me sort of happy as well, to not feel quite so alone in this. I wonder if this is a compulsion, or a method of self harm? I've never quite figured out which would be worse, if it is.

[thatawkwardkid]

I thought I was the only one...I pick at my scabs, I've been doing that for the longest time. My mom always yells at me, but I can't help it. I've also lately begun to pluck my hair, and sometimes I'll tare my skin and it'll scab...and I pick at it. It makes me feel like I'm so ugly and hideous. I've had problems with self-injury when I was younger...But I got caught and had to go to counseling...I don't know if I should get help, because it's becoming extremely bad...I'll pick at my skin until it bleeds...and I don't know....I just...I don't even know...It's so hard to open up about this...I haven't ever shared that about myself. I'm not sure what to do, but I have to stop, my skin is getting worse...and It's also dangerous too...I don't want to get infections...but, I can't stop..I just can't.

[OutofTune]

I've been a skin picker/hair plucker for at least seven years. I've completely destroyed the skin on my arms and midsection, to the point where I don't even like doctors seeing it. There aren't many doctors/therapists who understand trich and obsessive compulsive skin picking disorder. Seems like there isn't much help for us. Meds do sort of lower the urge to pick and pull, but the scars never go away and neither do the imperfections we pick at.

Here are a couple of websites that might help you...
http://www.stoppickingonme.com/
http://www.skinpick.com/skin-picking-ocd

Hope you feel better soon.

[taboo]

I am so glad to see I also am not alone in this! I've been doing the skin picking since I was about 14.. I'm not 35 and it's worse.. My 14 year old son does it too.. He's an Aspie and I'm Borderline... I pluck my eyebrows so thin I have to "draw" them back on.. My face, back and arms look like a girl going through puberty.. Thanks everyone for sharing you stories..

[bastetsha]

It is nice to know that we are not alone in picking. I have the same problem and my arms and chest look horrible now. Some of the meds I am on help but I do sometimes find myself just mindlessly picking my arms.

[Maven]

I am almost always picking at my skin and acne. I keep feeling for zits and blackheads, squeezing them out, and then I'll take a tissue and wipe my fingers, figuring oil has gotten on my fingers. Then I'll try to focus on something else, like the TV, and soon I'll catch myself picking again! I'm constantly trying to get out blackheads and popping zits. I don't get acne like I did when I was a kid--really bad in my teens--but it's still there, and my messing with it doesn't help.

Funny thing is, because of my OCD, I used to avoid touching my face almost completely. Since I got better in dealing with my OCD, I essentially gave permission to myself to touch my face, only it's lead to almost subconsciously picking at my face. It makes me feel better to get blackheads out, but then my face is all oily, so I need to use OxyPads or something like that, and I hate how they smell, feel (cold and also a little sticky), and I hate the process of wiping them on me, period.

[sassymck]

Hey. I'm new here, and yours was the first post I read. I have been picking at my zits since I was in my teens, and I am almost 50. Suffice to say it's bad and has driven me to the brink at times. I've been told by psychiatrists it's a form of my OCD called Body Dysmorphic Disorder where you're obsessed with a minor or perceived bodily flaw (usually hair, face, skin, or breasts) about which you then have compulsions. It's been the bane of my existence, and my hair is the mane of my existence. I fuss over it like nobody's business, and even when it looks perfect, I stress over it to the point of a near nervous breakdown. My doctors disagree as to whether this body dysmorphia/ocd exists as part of depression/anxiety or as part of bipolar disorder, but it doesn't really matter to me. It exists and drives me insane. I too thought your post could have been mine. The first step for me was clearing up my skin; the second step was getting meds that settled my anxiety about it. Check out body dysmorphic disorder too and see if it fits for you. I find it helpful to assign a definition to what I am enduring. It helps me process it and make sense of it a bit better. All the best to you!!!

[coolhair]

I've just destroyed my face and I feel so rubbish. I really hope it's not related to OCD, I thought I'd got rid of that

[Phoenix_1]

You sound just like me - face, neck, shoulders, arms, fingers, legs, etc. I even used to bite my nails to the quick until I got false teeth (I don't recommend that remedy for nail biting - then you have other problems). Thank you and everyone here for sharing your stories.

Originally Posted by Cryptocrotic

I'm not exactly sure how long it's been that I've had this problem. Definitely over a year, maybe multiple years, my memory gets fuzzy sometimes. Anyway, it's worsened quite a bit over the last year. I am not really sure if it's OCD or not, and I have not seen any professionals about it, but I can't stop picking at my skin.
I've never had the smoothest or nicest-looking skin, it often lacks moisture, and I've not always had the healthiest of eating habits, which is reflected a bit in the skin as well. I think this makes my skin especially susceptible to my bad habits. I pick and scratch, and the more I do it, the worse it gets.
Of course, I know it's common knowledge that scratching an itch only spreads rashes. That's exactly what's happened to the back/sides of my neck. It gets all red, bumpy, and irritated and hurts like hell. Not like an ahhh my leg got chopped off kind of pain of course but it's the constant nagging prickling pain that hurts just enough to keep your attention focused on it and give you an almost uncontrollable urge to do something, anything about it even though you know the best thing you can do is to do nothing at all. I do this to myself so easily. It starts by just a bit of an itch and before I know it I'm itching constantly, it becomes a mad urge, and there's a rash. But this at least is a simple matter of resisting the urge to scratch, as it truly does heal up just fine once I manage to stop.
My other compulsion is not so easily dealt with, in fact I haven't really managed to deal with it at all. The picking. It started with my face, like a normal person I would pop a few pimples or whatever. But it developed into a habit of constantly looking for them and obsessing over them. And when my face was no longer enough, I started on the upper parts of my arms. That was alright for a while, although my arms looked awful and I always did my best to cover them up when I was around people. Next I went to my forearms. That at least never got as bad as the upper parts. It seems that the more I pick, the more it spreads, as if my body just wants to feed my fascination. I got so obsessed that I started experimenting with it. I would stop in specific places for a while to see if it would stay spread or if that area would heal. My skin didn't used to be so rough and imperfect - I know that I've caused it myself by picking at it, but it confuses me because I really don't know why I started picking so much to begin with.
When my arms could no longer satisfy my urges, I went on to my shoulders, chest, belly, and legs. I pick at pretty much anywhere I can reach. I've managed to bring the arm-picking to a minimum, which has made me feel a little bit better in terms of being around people (since it makes it more invisible to them), but it seems that the less I pick at my arms, the more I pick at everything else. I just have to do it. Even though I'm sure my skin would heal and be much smoother and more attractive if I stopped, I feel like the only way to fix it is to keep doing it. Often times I do it even without realizing it. The only time I can control it is when I'm around people, as I am too afraid of someone finding out about it.
It is so bad I can't even make myself go a day without doing it. It is wrecking my self-esteem, as, when I'm going around places, I feel almost like I'm wearing a facade, like I'm hiding this ugly, awful secret under my clothes, and I feel so alone. I have not told anyone about it, at least not in real life. I am not prepared to show my damaged skin to anyone, and I know that if I just told a person, they would either think it's not a big deal and dismiss it or they would push me to get help and take some kind of medication, which I don't want.
Recently I have felt more interested in healing my skin, but I have not really found a way I can manage. I thought it might actually be eczema, but I'm not at all sure about that and I have social phobia, so naturally I would be too anxious to see a doctor. I thought about trying to find some ointment, but I am not sure where I'd get it and that ties in with the social anxiety as well. I thought about just trimming my nails so short that I simply can't pick at my skin, but, stupidly enough, I really like having nails that are long enough to actually do things with (like open things, etc.), plus I just like the way they look more when they're longer.
Another thing that has become entangled with the picking issue is hair-plucking. I have an unusual amount of hair on my belly, many of which are thicker, coarser hairs. So a while ago, I started researching ways to make it go away, and I found out that sometimes if you pluck hairs enough, the follicles can get too damaged to grow the hair back. Thus my plucking habit was born. Obviously it didn't work, and although I simply started shaving the hair to keep myself from doing it too much, I have especially fast-growing body hair and I just can't get it all every day. The plucking has been damaging my skin as well and seems to cause much the same issues as my picking.
This has been plaguing my mind day in and day out for so long. Being an extremely self-destructive person, I realize that it's my own fault and that this would probably all be fairly simple to fix, but I am just glad I can express my thoughts here, as I have never been able to do so fully. It is a vicious cycle - the more I do it, the worse it gets, the more I do it, the more I get depressed and hate myself, the more I do it, the more I can't talk about it, the more horrible I feel, the more I do it.

I realize this was a bit long, but thanks for reading

[Phoenix_1]

Thank you for the websites - really helpful.

Originally Posted by OutofTune

I've been a skin picker/hair plucker for at least seven years. I've completely destroyed the skin on my arms and midsection, to the point where I don't even like doctors seeing it. There aren't many doctors/therapists who understand trich and obsessive compulsive skin picking disorder. Seems like there isn't much help for us. Meds do sort of lower the urge to pick and pull, but the scars never go away and neither do the imperfections we pick at.

Here are a couple of websites that might help you...
http://www.stoppickingonme.com/
http://www.skinpick.com/skin-picking-ocd

Hope you feel better soon.

[Phoenix_1]

I just turned 59 and I still have zits, and pick scabs. Thanks for your advice.

Originally Posted by sassymck

Hey. I'm new here, and yours was the first post I read. I have been picking at my zits since I was in my teens, and I am almost 50. Suffice to say it's bad and has driven me to the brink at times. I've been told by psychiatrists it's a form of my OCD called Body Dysmorphic Disorder where you're obsessed with a minor or perceived bodily flaw (usually hair, face, skin, or breasts) about which you then have compulsions. It's been the bane of my existence, and my hair is the mane of my existence. I fuss over it like nobody's business, and even when it looks perfect, I stress over it to the point of a near nervous breakdown. My doctors disagree as to whether this body dysmorphia/ocd exists as part of depression/anxiety or as part of bipolar disorder, but it doesn't really matter to me. It exists and drives me insane. I too thought your post could have been mine. The first step for me was clearing up my skin; the second step was getting meds that settled my anxiety about it. Check out body dysmorphic disorder too and see if it fits for you. I find it helpful to assign a definition to what I am enduring. It helps me process it and make sense of it a bit better. All the best to you!!!

[Phoenix_1]

Try pads with organic aloe vera gel (health food quality) or witch hazel on them, lavendar soothes also, if you like the smell.

Originally Posted by Maven

I am almost always picking at my skin and acne. I keep feeling for zits and blackheads, squeezing them out, and then I'll take a tissue and wipe my fingers, figuring oil has gotten on my fingers. Then I'll try to focus on something else, like the TV, and soon I'll catch myself picking again! I'm constantly trying to get out blackheads and popping zits. I don't get acne like I did when I was a kid--really bad in my teens--but it's still there, and my messing with it doesn't help.

Funny thing is, because of my OCD, I used to avoid touching my face almost completely. Since I got better in dealing with my OCD, I essentially gave permission to myself to touch my face, only it's lead to almost subconsciously picking at my face. It makes me feel better to get blackheads out, but then my face is all oily, so I need to use OxyPads or something like that, and I hate how they smell, feel (cold and also a little sticky), and I hate the process of wiping them on me, period.

[ibex]

I pick at myself too. When I am stressed and ruminating the picking goes into overdrive. I try to keep the picking in the neck area so I can hide the sores with my hair or clothing.its verydestressing

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

Sounds like the same sort of compulsion I get or have had.