OCD - Obsessive Thinking

Hello,

I was wondering if anyone has experienced this type of OCD that I have been experiencing with extreme severity over the past month and I'm not sure if it is even related to OCD. I have physical compulsions and have for years, but they never seemed to bother me and I never considered them severe as the anxiety I feel from not doing them is not that high, it's almost like I do them more out of habit.
Most of my compulsions have revolved around mental ruminations/rituals. I developed intrusive thoughts a few years ago and my mental compulsions seemed to get stronger and stronger while keeping my thoughts at bay. Last month I had a situation in which I didn't do a compulsion and it's like my mind immediately flooded with my traditional intrusive thought, but with a different twist. I began to obsessively think about my thinking. It sounds crazy, but I seem to have become stuck in this pattern of "watching" everything I do. I "watch" my own thoughts and I always feel this presence all day long even if I try to ignore it. This in turn has become an inner dialogue with myself over what's going on with me that I can not stop and all sorts of thoughts flood my mind as a result. I have convinced myself that something is really wrong with me and I can't get rid of this sensation and feel crazy at times. I have just begun to see a psychologist. Has anyone here experienced anything like this If so, do you have any advice on how to handle it? Thanks

Even if someone else has experienced it, you need to tell your psychologist. He/she would be the one to offer help and advice. Okay?

Thanks for your reply I have just began seeing my psychologist and he seems to understand the basics of what is going on, however we have not got into any techniques yet as I just started. I just want to know if there are any others who have experienced this because I know from my experience with other forms of OCD that it mainly relies on the person to change their thinking I am just having a tough time with this one

'o.O Holy crap, that was somewhat like me. I can't really help, sadly, since I'm struggling plenty, but I definitely experience what you have said, and this has been an issue since I was pretty young. :\ Best of luck to you. I've only just started to get help with OCD, and it's a tough ride already, so well done for us both getting help. :P Oh, BTW, with those intrusive thoughts, there's something I get that IDK if maybe you'll relate to, but I've gotten so used to them that I stress out over something that could lead to one, but doesn't.. similar to how you say that you think about your thinking, I seem to stress out about the possibility of being stressed out, so it kinda just goes nowhere really; it's almost like I'm doomed if I do, and doomed if I don't. -.-

"just want to know if there are any others who have experienced this" - So in a nut shell: DING DING DING! ME! *raises hand* xD

PAYNE1, the way you worded that, it's like the whole of PC is just totally redundant; we are also useful, because we have, often many years of personal experience in it, and a lot of us have seen professionals and can pass on what helped them. The way you put your message, was, to me, offensive - obviously they should get professional help, but simply posting and insinuating that they shouldn't ask for advice from other people because they're not a psychologist, is pretty unfair, IMO - afterall, the majority of us here and not in said profession, so why are we all here? I highly doubt anyone joined the site simply to be told to go see a doctor. Not trying to kick dust in anyone's eyes, but what you said really got under my skin; it felt totally disrespectful, if not to me, then to almost the whole of PC. :\ Hopefully it was just a case of miswording or I somehow misread.

Thanks for your response! It helps to know that someone out their kind of understands what I am going through. It's like my obsessive mind has become aware of my obsessive mind if that makes any sense. When you said "damned if you do, damned if you don't." That totally resonated with me. If I allow it to go on, it doesn't stop and if I try to ignore it, it doesn't stop because it all has to do with my existence. In the past my violent thought had the potential to consume me for weeks, but I could eventually come around to separating myself from the thought. This however, is different all together or so it seems. It feels all internal and like my mind has turned inward on itself. On top of that, I feel like I intentionally bring bad thoughts into my mind and that they are not "intrusive," but like I am putting them there, which is extremely annoying. I don't know how to stop this.

You're welcome, and from the sounds of things, I relate a lot more than kind of, trust me on that much; I wish I could say otherwise, to be honest. :|

Same.

Yeah it's just horrible. Anyway, if you would like to talk more about it with me over chat sometime let me know. It helps to connect with someone who knows exactly what I am going through.

Absolut! I would love to whenever we are both on, that would be an awesome idea. And it indeed does help! That's why I came here and stuff. :P