[IndoOCD]

Am I categorized as a sex addict or compulsive sexual behavior..? Or it is OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) which is the source of my problem..? I'm confused of my condition right now.. Could anybody relate to my situation..? Here is my situation : I may get easily turned on or fantasize easily on sexual matters.. On the contrary, when I am thinking or doing my compulsive sexual behaviour, I could ignore my contamination thinking, Such as masturbating to porn on my laptop, Which lead me to feel guilty and remorsed.. It then turns into embarassement or shyness, and social anxiety. My social anxiety leads me to more miserable life as I could not engage in a healthy sexual relationship with the opposite sex / woman.. To further worsen it, as I mention before that I also suffer from OCD. Mainly contamination subject. And I find hard to function normally in society because I use up to much of my brain power to rationalize my OCD such as will I get sick if I don't wash my hands throughly before handling food.. / What if I grab a public door knob or touch elevator button with my bare hands, but unable to sanitize my hands right afterwards.. And what if I do it in front of many people, and they make fun of me / even think I'm a freak which makes me more embarrased.. I don't want to get too detailed about my rituals or obsessive thoughts as it would be too long for a brief description. In summary, I'm confused which one (Obsessive thought about contamination / my Compulsive Masturbation Behaviour is the main culprit.. Which mental health condition that better describes my situation..? What treatment is better for me.. PPlease anyone could relate to my condition right now.. As I'm too confused of it and I could not justify my action well and function normally.. I'm 27 right now but leaved jobless because of it. And it makes me depressed so much that for almost 7 months I almost completely locked myself up in my room trying to rationalize my obsessive thought and rumunating a lot about my past on how I often failed myself because of my unresolved condition.. It really leaves me with major depression.. I even think of suicide as the only option many times as I could not relate my problem in real life, not even with my close relatives like my parents or brothers.. That is why I feel so much of relief when I stumble upon this internet forum. I do really appreciate anyone who would relate to my problem, share, and possibly offer a solution or advices to this debilitating mental disease that has infected my mind for over 14 years since I was 13 years old.
Thank You Very Much for your Kind Attention..

[ocdwifeofsociopath]

Based on just the two things I would say its ocd. I would first focus on the guilt and stress you are creating. I swear the more you focus on it and stress the worse it will be to control. If you can not stop yourself from doing something, I would not consider that your fault. We can only do so much. I am on Zoloft, its one if the anti depressants that helps with ocd. Medicine is a help, but does not do it all. Go talk to you're doctor about what's going on what you're feeling. You don't have to get super specific, just the point across. He will have better info on what works best for you. I understand how you feel too and PC had been a lot of help for me

[IndoOCD]

Originally Posted by ocdwifeofsociopath

Based on just the two things I would say its ocd. I would first focus on the guilt and stress you are creating. I swear the more you focus on it and stress the worse it will be to control. If you can not stop yourself from doing something, I would not consider that your fault. We can only do so much. I am on Zoloft, its one if the anti depressants that helps with ocd. Medicine is a help, but does not do it all. Go talk to you're doctor about what's going on what you're feeling. You don't have to get super specific, just the point across. He will have better info on what works best for you. I understand how you feel too and PC had been a lot of help for me

First of all, Thank You so much for responding to my post.. I really do appreciate your kindness for your concern about my illness. For medicine, I had various results with them.. Currently I'm taking SEROQUEL for sleeping aid.. (I don't know if it is the right medicine for sleeping aid).. But for OCD, I have tried Prozac, Zoloft, Lexapro.. with various results.. and I have never been on a certain medication for more than 6 months.. I have even tried all three at the same time at some point.. I'm confused right now.. because the medications seem to not work when I'm depressed especially.. Because I had trouble in sleeping and relaxing when I'm depressed, and it aggravates my OCD symptoms.. I become confused as whether it is OCD or Depression is my main concern right now.. For the worst part.. Whenever I'm depressed.. My OCD symptoms would get to the worst until I think I'm so germaphobic that even touching a doorknob would trigger so much anxiety that I couldn't function anymore as a human being.. As a result, I have been staying in my room for almost 7 months with very little interest in anything than remorsing about my past why everytime I'm depressed, My OCD would hit the roof and I become like a disabled person. I want to think of germs not as an obsession.. but whem it gets to cleaning and hygiene especially what it gets into my mouth.., I would be too excessive to the point that I have to wash my hands everytime I want to hold my food with my fingers / hands.. And I really am not sure how clean I am, although I have used such a strict procedure about hygiene (truly germaphobic).. For the past 7 months, I almost feel suicidal.., as this is not the first time I have encountered such depressive episodes.. Almost once a year, when depression hits me, I would come into some major depressive episodes which in turn makes my OCD worse everytime it hits me.. In real life, it is so hard for me to explain what is going on in my head., even to my family or my closest friends.. Indeed I may think that friends could make fun of me if I explain to them about my OCD symptoms.. Which would worsen my condition.. It feels like I am in jail only that the jail is my mind itself.. So, because of this, I am almost unable to socialize well with my friends.. and it may worsen my OCD if i can't do well in society.. I have tried several times when my symptoms are less.. never is symptom free. My OCD symptoms somehow are what define my personality.. I'm a perfectionist, Yes. but when it gets to cleaning until something is germs free.. and keeping my things germs free.. It is impossible, I know.. however, I just couldn't resist the obsessions when it comes into my mind when I get depressed.. until now, I haven't found any effective measures to fight these obsessions and break out of this vicious cycle.. Please anyone who have similar conditions as me would share here.. REALLY THANK YOU for those who will respond to my long and possibly boring post.. That is why I come into this forum and I do really think Psych Central is a heaven for those who will want to share anything about their mental illness.. BIG THANKS to Psych Central..

[ocdwifeofsociopath]

I would first focus on overcoming your anxiety about your symptoms and illness. acceptance. that major step is the first and most important thing for peace of mind. I would then focus on any depression left. OCD is the last to worry about. trust me. You can also tweak your way of thinking...even if it's seemingly illogical...to something that will help you like the outcome of what's bothering you. ie: I know this brand of soap and thirty seconds of washing in this water, because I keep this sink clean, will kill and rub off all germs, because how this soap works is by forcing the bacteria left alive to lose their grip on my hands. but like I said, acceptance and depression first.

[IndoOCD]

Thank You so Much again fir yiur response..
I get what you mean.. Depression is my main problem right now..
In terms of medicine.. do you have any suggestions what work best for you..?
Additionally, besides Depression and OCD, I also have so much trouble in sleeping.. Could you please suggest to me what is the best medications to help you get sleep easily.. Hopefully without sedative effects..
Truly a million Thanks for Such Kind Person like You who would respond to me..

[ocdwifeofsociopath]

i have only ever been on Zoloft...it has worked wonders for me so far except, honestly, i'm going through a hard time right now and I'm not completely sure it's still working or if i'm not crazy and what's happening really is that bad...so I can't help you there. however for sleep aids, I have heard that certain antihistamines are really good. there is one that's been around forever, really old, sold at Costco called...sleep-aid lol. I've heard there is no remnants of drowsiness or hangovers. I was going to pick it up and check it out. other people have said good things about other types of antihistamines too in the correct dose for only help with sleeping and not battling allergic reactions. I have no information whatsoever on what you probably think of when you imagine sleeping pills.

[IndoOCD]

I Thank You Again for being able to respond to my post..
I'm sorry that I have been inactive in the forum for about a week and not being able to respond to you in an instant. I am truly sorry that you are going through a hard time right now.. I could hope that I may be of help to you in some ways also by relating to each other..
And I do really appreciate your suggestions.. I might give it a try on the anti-histamines..

For your medication, I might suggest that you consult with your medical practitioner again.. Because different people react differently with each antidepressants.. It is a matter of trial and error.. That's why I have been given various medications in the course of my treatment by the doctor.. I have tried various SSRI such as Zoloft, Prozac, and Lexapro..

If you don't mind, we could chat on some online messenger like yahoo.. Here is my ID : lgasia77. You could add me anytime if you are comfortable with..

Again, Thank You for being able to respond to my post and relate to my condition.. May God bless you and hope you could improve on your conditions, too..

[ocdwifeofsociopath]

I don't really use yahoo, could we set up private messaging in the chat on this forum instead maybe? I would like that. But i'm also busy frequently just so you're aware....