[IchbinkeinTeufel]

...but I don't know where else this would fit.

So much is going on right now that it's kind of overkill to be starting therapy for my OCD as well. My auntie just died (after suffering a lot with cancer for a long time), my housing stuff just kicked off and stuff's going on there (long story short: trying to get my own place), my dad's away at Scotland because of my aunt, and he won't be back. My sleep has gone a bit to crap again, which isn't providing a ton of strength that I kinda seriously need, right now. Might sound like nothing to some people, but I struggling with it, none-the-less.

I'm tempted to cancel the therapy, but I took some unusual routes to get therapy so easily, without jumping through certain hoops, and it would probably take many more months before I'd get the opportunity again. My OCD is always a problem, just a different severity; I am disabled by it, but I'm alive, and I'm worried, that piling too much onto my plate will make me unstable.

Not sure of the point in this thread. My diary is inaccessible so I cannot just type this crap over there, so I guess I wanted somewhere to say some crap. I don't really know what to do. Also waiting for results on a blood-test, and that's a bit of stress. Going to these places is going to be hard enough. I have really bad anxiety, and that causes so much problems, as often, I don't even want to go out the house.

The therapy starts on the 22nd, which is really soon. I'd have to go to town myself (a lot of anxiety right there... it's a rare event for me to walk to town on my own) and then sit in that waiting room with all those people, alone, which is a huge amount more anxiety. I then have to see that woman, alone. I am not good with doing this crap alone. I'm so used to my dad being there at times like these; feel so weak because of that. 27 years old and still need that sort of support - a grown man should stand his own and fight his own battles, or so part of my believes.

[anneo59]

Hi, I hope you do go to OCD forum and grief info as well, and I wish you the best! You are worthwhile! Take care!

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

I check out the OCD forum from time to time, and I'll pass on the grief thing. Thanks for the post, Anneo59.

Originally Posted by Akuma

...but I don't know where else this would fit.
So much is going on right now that it's kind of overkill to be starting therapy for my OCD as well.

So, this is a valid point.
But there's also the other side of the coin- you are encountering a lot of things in which the use of tools and coping skills, as well as a sounding board that may provide some productive feedback [see:therapist] would be extremely valuable to help you deal with all of this that you are currently going through.

So yes, it is yet another thing, another stressor. But it is also a stressor that gives some benefits, some return.

I'm tempted to cancel the therapy, but I took some unusual routes to get therapy so easily, without jumping through certain hoops, and it would probably take many more months before I'd get the opportunity again. My OCD is always a problem, just a different severity; I am disabled by it, but I'm alive, and I'm worried, that piling too much onto my plate will make me unstable.

I have that temptation often, myself. Sometimes I give into it. It rarely works to my benefit. Therapy often actually provides more than just the actual therapy itself. It can give some kind of stability and something that we are accountable for [appointments we have to show up for], a person we can rely upon who basically is required to assist us. Also, though the whole transportation, random people, waiting room, random stranger in a room thing can be frightening... those things in themselves can actually improve where we stand with the OCD.

But it can suck, for sure. Particularly the first few weeks.
And it may seem you are going backward at first, because therapy is not neat and tidy and comfortable.

It can be strange and uncomfortable and sometimes dig up icky stuff.
But it can help.

27 years old and still need that sort of support - a grown man should stand his own and fight his own battles, or so part of my believes.

But you state this as if you don't.
Everyone faces a different sort of battle each day.
There are things you are capable of, I am certain, that others find extremely difficult and uncomfortable and balk at.

But because we put "sitting in a crowded room with total strangers" in the "should be perfectly able to do this category"... fairly arbitrarily I might add, [isn't it like an inherent reaction to be at least slightly suspicious of complete strangers when trapped in a small space with them? i mean when we see it from an evolutionary/survival point of view?]

people are seen as incapable in general if they can't do selective things of that nature.
I find that bizarre.

Anyway.
Enough of my social commentary.
Do whatever you have to do make it to therapy.

Even if you make it to therapy and sit there and feel completely unproducitve, it is going to help in the long run.
Tell the therapist you are uncomfortable or don't want to/can't tell them anything.

They will probably get it.

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

My dad cancelled it for me and will ring them (or they'll ring him/me) to make another appointment. They seemed to completely understand. My dad explained about my aunt, that my dad's in Scotland, and that right now isn't a good time as I've got other things to focus on that I can't put on hold. I'll hopefully still do it, just.. not now - housing is really important, as is staying sane enough to cope with that and the other stresses. I don't think it's fair for me to be expected to have too much on my plate and manage with it just fine. I can deal with one or maybe 2 things like this, but anymore and it starts going to ****, as has already been shown by my increase in anxiety, lack of sleep, feeling more depressed, etc. Not just thinking of my mental health, but physical as well, as stress has and does cause me physical problems.

As for your PM, Josie: you can indeed message any time, and that still stands. :P

[Miswimmy1]

I just wanted to let you know that I feel for you.

but truly, getting help is the best step. I promise, you don't want to avoid therapy because the OCD just gets worse and worse. I suggest buying the book "talking back to OCD". It outlines very specifically what CBT is and how you will be doing it with your therapist. It might help to ease some of that anxiety to know what to expect.

Therapy seems daunting but I can tell you right now that it saved my life. It may seem like a lot to deal with, but your therapist will go slow. She/he will assess where you are and go from there at a pace that works for you. And they will there for you every step of the way.

[anneo59]

welcome Akuma, the best! See ya later. Sometimes some fun or games help w grief, I've sure found!

[Grey Matter]

I am sorry to hear you're going through so much, Akuma. And when things get piled on top of each other we really don't want to consider adding something else that is avoidable. Therapy is hard work, I think as we all know. It's draining and can be such a stress. I think the best bet would be to go through the therapy when you feel ready and less overwhelmed with everything. And if it helps, we are here for you.

Take care.

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

Cheers, TI. http://forums.psychcentral.com/ocd-t...therapist.html <-- as that link suggests, I did indeed end up going, although it feels nothing short of a miracle.