I'm Sorry

Trichotillomania.

Until a few months ago, I couldn't even pronounce this word. I'm not exactly sure why I started pulling in the first place. I was just trimming my split ends one day, and I found a hair that didn't quite "belong". So I yanked it out.

It was all downhill from there.

Wherever I go, I leave behind globs of hair. I pull when I am angry, frustrated, sad, bored... pretty much all the time. When my mom found out, she was FURIOUS. I thought she of all people would understand. But when she sees my hands in my hair, she says, "Why can't you just stop?" or "You can choose to stop pulling out your hair if you want to."

The sad thing is that she's right. I'M the one in control. I'm doing this to MYSELF. I'm just really sorry that I'm not strong enough to quit.

Don't be discouraged, I'm like that, but with my fingers. I leave behind bits of my skin everywhere I go. I also get scolded by my parents a lot. It's not your fault, don't blame yourself. Try keeping your hands/mind busy. Do a puzzle or something when you're bored. Hope this helps <3<3

The only time I have managed to absolutely not pick was while I was out hunting. It was impossible to pick while doing that....

Thank you for the wonderful replies! I just needed to vent, I guess.

Hello.

I apologize this thread is really long but I have something important to tell you. I have just read your thread and I myself have been suffering with this condition for almost 20 years. It started when I was in the 5th grade and I am twenty-five now. Symptoms before pulling are: dry itchy sensations, finding hard, dry brittle, coarse hairs that are in tender areas of the scalp, red itchy scalp bumps, when hair is pulled there is an oblong whitish waxy substance plugging up the follicle. I get this on the top and sides of my head, in the middle of eyebrows, eyelashes, bikini line, legs, you name it. I know EXACTLY what you are going through. I was fed up though and went to a dermatologist and he diagnosed me with the underlying cause being folliculitis which is an inflammation of the hair follicles...he gave me some minocycline 100mg to kill bad bacteria...but what totally stopped me from pulling everything was applying lotion to my afflicted areas. I'm not trying to sell a product as I do not represent or affiliate with any lotion manufacturer. My mom bought me some bathing products from Bath and Body Works. It is the shower gel and lotion labeled "Stress Relief." They come in a green bottle and have Eucalyptus oil and Spearmint oil in them. I used the shower gel as my shampoo, followed by a conditioner, blow dryed my hair, and then massaged the lotion into my scalp. The feeling to pull, irritation, and itchiness was GONE! My hair is growing back in again and doesn't have any that "look out of sort hairs." I know EXACTLY what you are talking about and you are not a psycho. It is just dry scalp which is the source of driving you bonkers. I wouldn't be putting this on here if this didn't work as I have suffered severely for almost 20 years with this. I KNOW your pain. I just want to know if my remedy would work for someone else with my same affliction. The shower gel and lotion is labeled "Stress Relief" and comes in a green bottle at Bath and Body works. I'm sure you have tried millions of different things to solve this...I have and I have finally cracked down on the problem. I just want to know if this will work for somebody else. If it works for you, please pass this remedy on so everyone who is suffering with this skin problem will be free from it. My parents also would get angry with me and called me a freak. It has been a painful twenty years and I think it finally ended.....

I am sorry, but I really don't agree with the post above. I have been diagnosed with TTM and it's a form of mental illness - that's right, an ILLNESS. Illnesses can be cured. Remember that.

I pull when I am relaxed, sad, stressed, angry, bored etc. All the time. I have done it for many years now and just recently I started to see a T about this. She introduced me to cognitive behavioural therapy, which I believe is the right way to work with this. Not with distractions like lotions etc, but by changing the way you think. I am now aware of "risky" situations for me, and when I am aware I usually don't pull as much.

If you want to talk to someone about this I would really like to try to help. I am going through the same thing as you and I know how it feels. The shame, the mixed emotions. But the most important thing to remember is that this is an ILLNESS. Like getting a cold or whatever. These thoughts and actions are not you. You will get through this!

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