[nycgal448]

Hi, I have a big problem, 3 mos ago my ex and I broke up.
I took it very hard, bc I wuz very much in love and had to
move back in w my mom, who is very emotionally abuse
to me, and that wuz why I moved in w him. Needless to
say, after we broke up, I TRIED so hard to get him back,
but it never worked. I had bday sex w him, then from
there all we did wuz fight, then he started ignoring me,
which got the catalyst goin. I wuz completely obsessed
w getting him back, but my BPD alwayz got in the way.
I hated him and accused him w things, one day, only
to text back later I loved and missed him. I threatened
"ggod bye" so many times.. but NEVER followed thru. Basically
I been text stalking him for mos all day, everyday. I have become
obsessed w trying to get him back, cuz i need him in my life.
how do I stop? He has digressed now too, but will not have
anything to do w me. I don't blame him, cuz I have lost it.

[nycgal448]

When I wuz w him I wuz happy and at peace. I gained back the real "me"
I wasn't cured of my bpd or bi polar, but i wuz better off than w my mom.
Idk, I actually felt content and at peace, w no abuse. Ever since Sept, I have
completely become unglued.

[NWgirl2013]

Sorry. I know this is a really hard thing to break, the cycle of contact. But maybe if you take some baby steps toward doing that, it will be easier on your heart and mind too.
It is a choice you are making, so maybe put in place some rules for yourself like, no contact for the next hour. Be VERY busy for as long as possible so you aren't tempted to break your own rules. Build from there.
You know you are driving him away with this, so maybe work very hard to stop.
I wish you only the very best as you find your footing on this slippery slope.

[nycgal448]

He is also Bi polar. i spent our entire relationship obsessing about
his ex wife and him getting together again; very false. I sabatoged
a good relationship. Bpd SUX!!!

[nycgal448]

He blocked me, which I dont blame him.