ROCD and Felling Numb

So, I have all the typical ROCD symptoms--doubting whether I love my partner, whether she's attractive enough for me, magnifying her flaws, etc., but I also go through phases where when I look at her and I really scrutinize my feelings towards her, and I don't find her attractive when I look at her--or, at least, not as attractive to the ideal (e.g. thinking "Is she attractive enough for me?"). It drives me absolutely up the wall because I don't WANT to feel that way... I don't want to feel numb towards her and feel like as if she is only a friend. I want to be fully immersed in the relatiosnhip and not doubt my feelings. Even though people tell me that it's common in relationships to have attraction ebb and flow because you can't feel "high" and infatuated all the time, for me it just makes me doubt my attraction towards her more. It may last for a few days to a week or so, then that feeling of numbness will reverse, and I'll find her attractive again. Same as in my previous relationship--I knew I was definitely attracted to her and I loved her because I felt devastated when we broke up, but I'd go through the numb periods. Has anyone with ROCD felt this way before?

hi greenspark
i can honestly say i dont even know what the r stands for. i assume the rest is obsessive compulsive disorder. i can certainly understand how distressful wanting to have that connection to your girlfriend and not being able to achieve it due to mental health issues cause i have connection issues of my own. welcome to psych central. you will find we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome

I'm sorry--ROCD is Relationship OCD! It's an informal subtype. I'd post a link, but as a newbie, I can't do that. Mine is doubting whether or not I love my partner enough, whether they are attractive enough to me, etc.

Thank you for the support I look forward to poking around here more.