Had the worst obsession ever

This is a trigger post, so you are warned here.

So I went on a trip to Europe recently and just got back. But while there, I had a really, really bad obsessive thought. It was this:



It was the worst thought of my life. It made me cry and I couldn't stop thinking about it. I thought it was going to be true. I told my teacher because it was about her. I told her it was part of my OCD, but I forgot to tell her not to laugh. I was going to, but I was so scared so I forgot. So when I told her, she laughed immediately, which made me want to cry because it felt so real. She told me she isn't that important to be and not to worry about it and to think of the things around me. I couldn't. It was too real. She asked me what to do, but I had no idea. I honestly am unsure what others should do. Maybe I should print out a list for emergencies. It was so terrible. I don't know what to do. After this, I had to ask her if she was okay and if she had a that day. She always said she was fine and not to worry about her and no one did anything to her. I only didn't ask her once because another teacher got mad at me because I needed to take my medication at 9:30, but it was at the end of the concert, and she said that it was inappropriate and I should have waited. She said it in a not so nice way in my opinion. But every other night, I had to ask her. Oh, and the night didn't because I couldn't, I couldn't stop thinking about and worried about my fear of harm coming to her. I asked her immediately the next day, and again, she said she was fine and to worry about it, but I was so scared and stressed because I didn't ask her before bed. This was really bad. I hate OCD.

Nike007...

That sounds like it was terrifying. ((HUGS)) Make sure you talk to your doctor and/or therapist about it. I've found that talking about my OCD thoughts is really best done only after the anxiety has passed, and only to people who understand the illness. If you talk about it in the heat of the moment, that can be compulsive and encouraging the obsession to linger. Try not talking about it next time, and instead do something to alleviate the anxiety (like go for a walk, take some medication... in my case, Xanax, do something creative, meditate, talk about something happy, etc.) first before you try talking about it. I know it's really hard. I understand.

It was. I will only be seeing a pdoc one more time until a court thing is settled. Then I can see a new one. But I see a social worker, and I was surprised she didn't know much about obsessions and OCD. Apparently I didn't tell her before I get violent obsessions. Violent obsessions are more common in teens, like me, so I fit this criteria. Anyways, I talked to her and she said a thing to do is to acknowledge the thought, then think of something else. And then to keep doing this until it's gone. And I'll try your technique. Maybe it'll help. I wish I had a PRN med. I am hoping the new pdoc will prescribe one in like, 6 months when I see them.