[alexandertg98]

I'm a 17 year old teen who is pretty sure has OCD. Before I found out what OCD was, I thought I might be possessed by demons who were filling my thoughts with these annoying things, but then I found out about intrusive thoughts and OCD and it sounded a lot like what I have.

I had small symptoms of it ever since I was little. I used to sometimes look at non-family members in an angry way(without them noticing) and smile when I looked towards the direction where someone from my family was. I have no idea why, but one of my moms friends noticed at my pre-K graduation ceramony and my mom asked me about it. I forgot what I told her.

I would also have this certain short musical tune I would repeat in my head. I didn't know why I felt the need to, but I did. Then it moved on to a random movie title. Again, it was random to me and I didn't know why, but I did it. It was an urge.

Then when I was 11, I had a major depressive episode out of no where. I couldn't eat, I wanted to be in my room and at home all day, I got no joy in playing outside with my friends or my favorite cousins visiting, cried and felt sad for no reason, wanted to die, felt easily guilty. The pain was so strong I remember thinking I would rather get beat up. I remember it being so strong I felt it was impossible for it to ever go away.

I was embarassed and didn't wanna tell anyone, but my parents found out cause it was hard to hide it from them. They talked to me, and my mom told me "she understood", and that we all feel bad sometimes, but I know she didn't understand and told her. She's very social and has no mental problems as I can tell, but I know she wanted to help.

Anyway, during this time, my OCD got stronger for some reason. I would be walking, and all of a sudden feel the urge to stop and walk and repeat stepping back and fourth on that small piece of space, because I had a morbid thought about my family and felt that if I didn't do it, it would happen.

This manifested itself when I played video games and used the computer too. I would feel the need to go back in the video game or press certain buttons, or right before clicking a webpage on the internet, I had a bad thought and clicked back and foward until I felt it was just right and the thought wouldn't happen.

However, recently, the thoughts have been sexual, involving my mom, and it disgusts me. I don't find her sexually attractive and never have, and I've tested this before. I've looked at her to see if I really am, but all I see if my mother. Then I look away and the thoughts return.

It's annoying and the sad thing is my mom triggers it when I see her.

I've told doctors and a psychotherapist and a nurse practitioner who could prescribe meds that I think I have OCD, but they never take me seriously. Maybe I don't explain myself right.

The nurse practitioner gave me Zoloft for it once, but I'm very irresponsible with medication and take it irregularly. I never felt anything on the Zoloft anyway.

The other times, they've just told me I watch too much violent stuff and need to stop, or that we all have a morbid curiosity.

I admit, I've had a morbid curiousty since I was little, and looked for stuff kids my age shouldn't look for on the internet(gore), but it was just curiosity. And those images and videos did trigger me, but I still looked. See, a normal person would say this is gross and just exit, but I got triggered and have to stay until I think and think or do my ritual or whatever and then I can click out.

Theres been periods when I try to ignore it, and do, and I KNOW these thoughts aren't rational. Heck, people tell me I'm intelligent and give good advice because I see thins clearly(I have a rep for being reserved but "smart"), but the feeling that the thought will happen is too strong.

With my mom, I'm even paranoid and semi-convinced she likes me and wants.

Like RIGHT now, I looked at my phone to change the song, and as I was scrolling down, I had a thought, and I always say in my head(or if I'm alone, aloud), "ew no gross, that's disgusting", to like, calm the anxiety or something. And that can happen just one time, or I can repeat it if the thought is strong enough.

I remember being more little and thinking what if one day I'm driving, and have one of these thoughts and have to break, but I don't since I'm in the middle of trying to get rid of the feeling, or I think it's performing your OCD ritual.

It used to mostly happen at home(I'm home most of the time), but now it also happens outside of home.

I'm so used to having this, but it's so annoying. If I was 10, and knew that this would grow even stronger in the future, and by 7 years I would still have it and it would literally be half, maybe more of my life, I would think that I would have gone insane by now.

I'm not sure if these are dopamine and serotonin related, but I've done reading, and OCD and depressed are symptoms of having a deficiency of those two chemicals.

I've only had 2 depressive episodes. One in late 2010, the first one which was BAD. It lasted a bit over a month. And a second one in 2012, which also lasted about the same time, however this one was less severe and I could hide it. It was mostly emotional and not psysical like not eating as with the first episode.

I'm pretty sure what I have right now, and what I struggle with the most right now is OCD.

I've been diagnosed with ADHD inattentive type, or ADD.

I'm aloof. I don't really feel as much as others do. I have empathy, but not as much I think as most people. I've noticed this ever since I was little. I faked empathy tho, because I knew what to say and how tor react. However, I doubt I'm a psychopath or full blown sociopath.

I sometimes do risky things for fun. It's no where out of control tho, however, some might say I'm dumb for doing them.

I would say I am or am somewhat lethargic.

I ALWAYS, always listen to music at loud/max volume. I think maybe this is to be stimulated. It's always fast, like electronic music or rock. Right now I'm listening to Showtek, but I just listened to Ace of Spades by Motorhead(fast song). Or doesn't have to be fast, but have good beats. Not slow, pop music. If it's slow, it's always classical.

My OCD messes with this too. I sometimes need to rewind the song a bit.

I'm also always changing the song, especially in the car, which could be my ADHD.

I mention all of this since I couldn't find a neurolgical forum or one where it's "other". Maybe someone would actually read all of this (lol), and give soe advice.

I feel like a pretty normal guy, but maybe because I'm so used to living with all this.

I know I should go to a psychologist, but I'm not sure if we'd have enough money too. I'm also a pretty paranoid and skeptical person, and I'm not sure if they'd actually care about fixing me.

Like, having to talk and give medication regarding OCD, ADHD, and maybe depression(even tho I've haven't been depressed since 2012). I don't know how much money it'd be.

[MusicLover82]

Welcome to the forum! I'm sorry you are suffering so much. With proper treatment, things can and will get better and easier to manage.

Psychiatrists prescribe medication. Psychologists provide counseling/psychotherapy. Either of them could properly diagnose you. Both my psychologist and psychiatrist charge around $120 a visit without insurance. With my insurance, I pay a $30 copay every visit. Each doctor is different, though, and insurance copays vary as well.

It does sound like you have OCD from your symptoms. As far as having any other psychological disorders, I can't tell from what you've said. I am not a doctor, so you will need to see a doctor to get a proper diagnosis. I just know from my experience, having intrusive thoughts (particularly unwanted thoughts that disgust or frighten you) is common with OCD.

Here is my advice:
1. Make an appointment with a psychiatrist to get a diagnosis and see if you can start a medication to treat the OCD (or whatever the doctor thinks needs to be treated most). Keep in mind that the meds you took before may not have been at the proper dose (OCD patients generally need a high dose of an SSRI drug to get relief). You can also ask for something to take for urgent relief if you get anxiety attacks.
2. Stop the compulsions. Whatever you do to try to alleviate the anxiety, stop doing them, because while they feel like they are helping, they actually make the cycle continue of obsessing--> compulsion--> obsess again... etc. You will need to find new ways to reassure yourself that the scary thoughts are NOT yours (they are just your brain being OCD) and they are not real. You can know it is a compulsion if you feel like if you don't do it you will freak out or have an anxiety attack. Find ways to relax without the compulsions, like doing a guided meditation or go for a walk. A good psychologist can help you with this. A good book that can also help you with this is THE OCD WORKBOOK BY BRUCE HYMAN AND CHERRY PEDRICK. This book teaches you what I just explained (stopping compulsions, reassuring yourself in healthy ways, etc.) and can actually be more helpful than some psychologists because they don't all know about this technique.
3. Make an appointment with a psychologist or counselor. Even if they don't use the techniques I described above, it will help you to have someone to talk to about what you're going through.
4. If you disagree with the diagnosis, get a second opinion. I've seen BAD psychiatrists before, and they are not worth your time. It's important with OCD to explain in detail what you obsess about and what you compulsively do to alleviate the anxiety. Maybe even make a list of all symptoms and things that trouble you and tell them how often the thoughts and feelings of anxiety happen. If they don't get it and you feel they aren't taking you seriously, move on. If after a couple doctors they all agree with the same diagnosis, however, you can be more sure about it.
5. Try taking the supplement NAC. My psychiatrist recommended it and it helps alleviate the intensity of my obsessive thoughts. My psychiatrist recommended 3,000 mg a day, and it's helped me a lot. That's something easy and natural you can do before you can get in to see the doctor.

HUGS!! I hope I have helped.

[Calixa64]

My son is 16 and suffers with OCD like you. I am giving him Inositol. It's a B8 vitamin powder. It has helped him so much.please do a search on this for OCD. Its so much better than medication.

Originally Posted by alexandertg98

I'm a 17 year old teen who is pretty sure has OCD. Before I found out what OCD was, I thought I might be possessed by demons who were filling my thoughts with these annoying things, but then I found out about intrusive thoughts and OCD and it sounded a lot like what I have.

I had small symptoms of it ever since I was little. I used to sometimes look at non-family members in an angry way(without them noticing) and smile when I looked towards the direction where someone from my family was. I have no idea why, but one of my moms friends noticed at my pre-K graduation ceramony and my mom asked me about it. I forgot what I told her.

I would also have this certain short musical tune I would repeat in my head. I didn't know why I felt the need to, but I did. Then it moved on to a random movie title. Again, it was random to me and I didn't know why, but I did it. It was an urge.

Then when I was 11, I had a major depressive episode out of no where. I couldn't eat, I wanted to be in my room and at home all day, I got no joy in playing outside with my friends or my favorite cousins visiting, cried and felt sad for no reason, wanted to die, felt easily guilty. The pain was so strong I remember thinking I would rather get beat up. I remember it being so strong I felt it was impossible for it to ever go away.

I was embarassed and didn't wanna tell anyone, but my parents found out cause it was hard to hide it from them. They talked to me, and my mom told me "she understood", and that we all feel bad sometimes, but I know she didn't understand and told her. She's very social and has no mental problems as I can tell, but I know she wanted to help.

Anyway, during this time, my OCD got stronger for some reason. I would be walking, and all of a sudden feel the urge to stop and walk and repeat stepping back and fourth on that small piece of space, because I had a morbid thought about my family and felt that if I didn't do it, it would happen.

This manifested itself when I played video games and used the computer too. I would feel the need to go back in the video game or press certain buttons, or right before clicking a webpage on the internet, I had a bad thought and clicked back and foward until I felt it was just right and the thought wouldn't happen.

However, recently, the thoughts have been sexual, involving my mom, and it disgusts me. I don't find her sexually attractive and never have, and I've tested this before. I've looked at her to see if I really am, but all I see if my mother. Then I look away and the thoughts return.

It's annoying and the sad thing is my mom triggers it when I see her.

I've told doctors and a psychotherapist and a nurse practitioner who could prescribe meds that I think I have OCD, but they never take me seriously. Maybe I don't explain myself right.

The nurse practitioner gave me Zoloft for it once, but I'm very irresponsible with medication and take it irregularly. I never felt anything on the Zoloft anyway.

The other times, they've just told me I watch too much violent stuff and need to stop, or that we all have a morbid curiosity.

I admit, I've had a morbid curiousty since I was little, and looked for stuff kids my age shouldn't look for on the internet(gore), but it was just curiosity. And those images and videos did trigger me, but I still looked. See, a normal person would say this is gross and just exit, but I got triggered and have to stay until I think and think or do my ritual or whatever and then I can click out.

Theres been periods when I try to ignore it, and do, and I KNOW these thoughts aren't rational. Heck, people tell me I'm intelligent and give good advice because I see thins clearly(I have a rep for being reserved but "smart"), but the feeling that the thought will happen is too strong.

With my mom, I'm even paranoid and semi-convinced she likes me and wants.

Like RIGHT now, I looked at my phone to change the song, and as I was scrolling down, I had a thought, and I always say in my head(or if I'm alone, aloud), "ew no gross, that's disgusting", to like, calm the anxiety or something. And that can happen just one time, or I can repeat it if the thought is strong enough.

I remember being more little and thinking what if one day I'm driving, and have one of these thoughts and have to break, but I don't since I'm in the middle of trying to get rid of the feeling, or I think it's performing your OCD ritual.

It used to mostly happen at home(I'm home most of the time), but now it also happens outside of home.

I'm so used to having this, but it's so annoying. If I was 10, and knew that this would grow even stronger in the future, and by 7 years I would still have it and it would literally be half, maybe more of my life, I would think that I would have gone insane by now.

I'm not sure if these are dopamine and serotonin related, but I've done reading, and OCD and depressed are symptoms of having a deficiency of those two chemicals.

I've only had 2 depressive episodes. One in late 2010, the first one which was BAD. It lasted a bit over a month. And a second one in 2012, which also lasted about the same time, however this one was less severe and I could hide it. It was mostly emotional and not psysical like not eating as with the first episode.

I'm pretty sure what I have right now, and what I struggle with the most right now is OCD.

I've been diagnosed with ADHD inattentive type, or ADD.

I'm aloof. I don't really feel as much as others do. I have empathy, but not as much I think as most people. I've noticed this ever since I was little. I faked empathy tho, because I knew what to say and how tor react. However, I doubt I'm a psychopath or full blown sociopath.

I sometimes do risky things for fun. It's no where out of control tho, however, some might say I'm dumb for doing them.

I would say I am or am somewhat lethargic.

I ALWAYS, always listen to music at loud/max volume. I think maybe this is to be stimulated. It's always fast, like electronic music or rock. Right now I'm listening to Showtek, but I just listened to Ace of Spades by Motorhead(fast song). Or doesn't have to be fast, but have good beats. Not slow, pop music. If it's slow, it's always classical.

My OCD messes with this too. I sometimes need to rewind the song a bit.

I'm also always changing the song, especially in the car, which could be my ADHD.

I mention all of this since I couldn't find a neurolgical forum or one where it's "other". Maybe someone would actually read all of this (lol), and give soe advice.

I feel like a pretty normal guy, but maybe because I'm so used to living with all this.

I know I should go to a psychologist, but I'm not sure if we'd have enough money too. I'm also a pretty paranoid and skeptical person, and I'm not sure if they'd actually care about fixing me.

Like, having to talk and give medication regarding OCD, ADHD, and maybe depression(even tho I've haven't been depressed since 2012). I don't know how much money it'd be.

[MusicLover82]

Originally Posted by Calixa64

My son is 16 and suffers with OCD like you. I am giving him Inositol. It's a B8 vitamin powder. It has helped him so much.please do a search on this for OCD. Its so much better than medication.

Wow!! I didn't know there was another really helpful OCD supplement out there. I will definitely try it. I already take a lot of NAC, which helps quite a bit, but the obsessions are still there. Thanks!!

[MusicLover82]

Originally Posted by MusicLover82

Wow!! I didn't know there was another really helpful OCD supplement out there. I will definitely try it. I already take a lot of NAC, which helps quite a bit, but the obsessions are still there. Thanks!!

P.S. How much do you give him? I just read there is a possible problem with bipolar disorder (Inositol can sometimes induce mania) so if I tried it, I would need a very low dosage probably.

[Calixa64]

Originally Posted by MusicLover82

Wow!! I didn't know there was another really helpful OCD supplement out there. I will definitely try it. I already take a lot of NAC, which helps quite a bit, but the obsessions are still there. Thanks!!

Hi,

What is Nac? And you're welcome!

[Calixa64]

Originally Posted by MusicLover82

P.S. How much do you give him? I just read there is a possible problem with bipolar disorder (Inositol can sometimes induce mania) so if I tried it, I would need a very low dosage probably.

I am still kind of adjusting the dosage and keeping track of how it affects him. I believe most people with OCD take up to 18 grams. He was taking 18 but yesterday he did fine on 12. Going to try 12 again today and see how he does. It just depends on the person. I have also read about possible problems with Bipolar but they just aren't certain. I would also do more searches on Inositol and Bipolar if I were you. My friend has it and we gradually tired it with him starting at low dosage for a week and gradually increase week by week, keeping a close eye on how he feels. He now takes 12 grams a day. 2 teaspoons in the morning and 2 at night and has seen great improvement. Don't ever take a lot at once if you're not use to it because you get intestinal cramps and diarrhea.
1 tsp.=3 grams
You could start with 1 tsp twice a day for a week. (((If you get intestinal cramps/diarrhea then lower it to maybe 1/2 tsp twice a day for a week.)))
2nd week- 1 tsp 3 times a day (I'd probably do this for 2 weeks)
4th week- 2 tsp 3 times a day (This is 18 grams)
Everyone is different. You might feel fine with just the first week dosage. Just adjust it to whats best for you. Some people notice improvement right away, some people it takes longer. They say you should stick with it for at least 6 weeks (I thinks it was 6) to see results. I'll have to look that up. If you have a doctor you might want to check with him/her first.

Hope this helps. Oh and don't buy bulk to save money. We tried that and my son noticed a difference right away. It's not good quality. I would tell you what we get but I don't know if I'm allowed to do that on this forum. They might think I'm trying to sell a certain brand or something.

Blessings!

[MusicLover82]

Originally Posted by Calixa64

Hi,

What is Nac? And you're welcome!

NAC is an amino acid, N-Acetyl Cysteine, that has been proven to help mental illnesses such as OCD. It makes my obsessive thoughts a lot less intense on the days I have them.