Home Menu

Menu


Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old Jul 30, 2016, 09:30 PM
chasms's Avatar
chasms chasms is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Oct 2014
Location: Missouri
Posts: 217
i am usually passively suicidal at baseline (thanks bpd) but then i get these intrusive thoughts either for no reason, things are going fine, or when one things goes wrong. my brain just goes like SUIcde then i cant stop getting the intrusive thought out of my head it just repeats on loop
__________________
DX: bpd, ocd, gad, schizoaffective depressed type
RX: neurontin, valium, lithium, remeron, vraylar
past RX: geodon, risperdal, abilify, prozac, wellbutrin, baclofen, hydroxyzine, trazadone, zoloft, klonopin, cymbalta, latuda, loxapine, rexulti, seroquel, luvox, saphris



Dont get lost in your pain, know that one day your pain will become your cure ~ Rumi
Hugs from:
Anonymous37872, CognitoSchiz1989, Skeezyks, Yours_Truly

advertisement
  #2  
Old Jul 31, 2016, 11:39 AM
Skeezyks's Avatar
Skeezyks Skeezyks is offline
Disreputable Old Troll
 
Member Since: Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
Posts: 32,762
Hello chasms: Yes, the Skeezyks is pretty-much always at least passively suicidal as well. Once those pathways get worn into one's brain, it's difficult to get out of the ruts...
__________________
"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last)
Hugs from:
chasms
  #3  
Old Aug 01, 2016, 11:32 AM
88Butterfly88's Avatar
88Butterfly88 88Butterfly88 is offline
Moderator
Community Support Team
 
Member Since: Dec 2015
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 54,324
I used to have this. It was certainly OCD for me because I wasn't serious about killing myself and the thought was so constant.
  #4  
Old Aug 15, 2016, 08:48 PM
Stuck1nhead's Avatar
Stuck1nhead Stuck1nhead is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Aug 2016
Location: Virginia
Posts: 363
What do y'all mean by "passively suicidal"???

Sent from my KYOCERA-E6560 using Tapatalk
  #5  
Old Aug 15, 2016, 09:03 PM
Anonymous48850
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stuck1nhead View Post
What do y'all mean by "passively suicidal"???

Sent from my KYOCERA-E6560 using Tapatalk
It means it's always there, in my mind, as something I will do one day, just not yet. I'm not planning but I do intend to do it eventually.
  #6  
Old Aug 15, 2016, 09:23 PM
Stuck1nhead's Avatar
Stuck1nhead Stuck1nhead is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Aug 2016
Location: Virginia
Posts: 363
Quote:
Originally Posted by Little Cat View Post
It means it's always there, in my mind, as something I will do one day, just not yet. I'm not planning but I do intend to do it eventually.
Ah, thanks for clearing that up.

I get intrusive thoughts of suicide when im very bored, stressed, obsessive, depressed, or on a anxiety binge. I can say that those thoughts have been with daily for two months now. But I want to believe that I would never act on those thoughts. I say "believe" because I cant say for sure, im not clairvoyant.

Sent from my KYOCERA-E6560 using Tapatalk
  #7  
Old Aug 22, 2016, 03:17 PM
Erin Hay Hay's Avatar
Erin Hay Hay Erin Hay Hay is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Aug 2016
Location: Earth
Posts: 25
Hello Chasms (and everyone else). So your obsession is suicide itself? I've had similar obsessions like for example, when my nieces were born I couldn't take them in my arms for MONTHS after they were born because I kept having sudden thoughts about dropping them or hurting them unwillingly. In this case, the obsession was not hurting myself, it was hurting others.

Later on, I've learned to assume and distance myself from those thoughts seeing them not as ideas for the future but just as random thoughts that cross my mind and I'm trying too hard to shake off! It also helped me to read somewhere that most people have that kind of thoughts but they only present a problem to OCD people because we obsess about them.
  #8  
Old Aug 22, 2016, 09:51 PM
Stuck1nhead's Avatar
Stuck1nhead Stuck1nhead is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Aug 2016
Location: Virginia
Posts: 363
Quote:
Originally Posted by Erin Hay Hay View Post
Hello Chasms (and everyone else). So your obsession is suicide itself? I've had similar obsessions like for example, when my nieces were born I couldn't take them in my arms for MONTHS after they were born because I kept having sudden thoughts about dropping them or hurting them unwillingly. In this case, the obsession was not hurting myself, it was hurting others.

Later on, I've learned to assume and distance myself from those thoughts seeing them not as ideas for the future but just as random thoughts that cross my mind and I'm trying too hard to shake off! It also helped me to read somewhere that most people have that kind of thoughts but they only present a problem to OCD people because we obsess about them.
You know just a few minutes ago I was brushing my teeth. Then all of a sudden the thought of "what if one day my thoughts of suicide & violence becomes too strong and I can't resist??? sudden thoughts of suicide sudden thoughts of suicide sudden thoughts of suicide" then I just pinched myself really hard and found a distraction.

I got chewed out the other day because my old man was complaining because im on my phone a lot nowadays. Im on it because I need a distraction strong enough to divert myself away from my thoughts of violence. Plus im 23, it's my phone, and I pay a third of the bills.

Sent from my KYOCERA-E6560 using Tapatalk
  #9  
Old Aug 23, 2016, 11:25 AM
Erin Hay Hay's Avatar
Erin Hay Hay Erin Hay Hay is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Aug 2016
Location: Earth
Posts: 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stuck1nhead View Post
You know just a few minutes ago I was brushing my teeth. Then all of a sudden the thought of "what if one day my thoughts of suicide & violence becomes too strong and I can't resist??? sudden thoughts of suicide sudden thoughts of suicide sudden thoughts of suicide" then I just pinched myself really hard and found a distraction.

I got chewed out the other day because my old man was complaining because im on my phone a lot nowadays. Im on it because I need a distraction strong enough to divert myself away from my thoughts of violence. Plus im 23, it's my phone, and I pay a third of the bills.

Sent from my KYOCERA-E6560 using Tapatalk
I totally can relate! My problem is that my phone line was disconnected yesterday because I'm moving abroad and that caused me a full-blown panic attack. And what scares me the most is that lately, distractions are not enough for me...
__________________
This too shall pass
Reply
Views: 1412

attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:07 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.