[chasms]

i am usually passively suicidal at baseline (thanks bpd) but then i get these intrusive thoughts either for no reason, things are going fine, or when one things goes wrong. my brain just goes like SUIcde then i cant stop getting the intrusive thought out of my head it just repeats on loop

[Skeezyks]

Hello chasms: Yes, the Skeezyks is pretty-much always at least passively suicidal as well. Once those pathways get worn into one's brain, it's difficult to get out of the ruts...

[88Butterfly88]

I used to have this. It was certainly OCD for me because I wasn't serious about killing myself and the thought was so constant.

[Stuck1nhead]

What do y'all mean by "passively suicidal"???

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Originally Posted by Stuck1nhead

What do y'all mean by "passively suicidal"???

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It means it's always there, in my mind, as something I will do one day, just not yet. I'm not planning but I do intend to do it eventually.

[Stuck1nhead]

Originally Posted by Little Cat

It means it's always there, in my mind, as something I will do one day, just not yet. I'm not planning but I do intend to do it eventually.

Ah, thanks for clearing that up.

I get intrusive thoughts of suicide when im very bored, stressed, obsessive, depressed, or on a anxiety binge. I can say that those thoughts have been with daily for two months now. But I want to believe that I would never act on those thoughts. I say "believe" because I cant say for sure, im not clairvoyant.

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[Erin Hay Hay]

Hello Chasms (and everyone else). So your obsession is suicide itself? I've had similar obsessions like for example, when my nieces were born I couldn't take them in my arms for MONTHS after they were born because I kept having sudden thoughts about dropping them or hurting them unwillingly. In this case, the obsession was not hurting myself, it was hurting others.

Later on, I've learned to assume and distance myself from those thoughts seeing them not as ideas for the future but just as random thoughts that cross my mind and I'm trying too hard to shake off! It also helped me to read somewhere that most people have that kind of thoughts but they only present a problem to OCD people because we obsess about them.

[Stuck1nhead]

Originally Posted by Erin Hay Hay

Hello Chasms (and everyone else). So your obsession is suicide itself? I've had similar obsessions like for example, when my nieces were born I couldn't take them in my arms for MONTHS after they were born because I kept having sudden thoughts about dropping them or hurting them unwillingly. In this case, the obsession was not hurting myself, it was hurting others.

Later on, I've learned to assume and distance myself from those thoughts seeing them not as ideas for the future but just as random thoughts that cross my mind and I'm trying too hard to shake off! It also helped me to read somewhere that most people have that kind of thoughts but they only present a problem to OCD people because we obsess about them.

You know just a few minutes ago I was brushing my teeth. Then all of a sudden the thought of "what if one day my thoughts of suicide & violence becomes too strong and I can't resist??? " then I just pinched myself really hard and found a distraction.

I got chewed out the other day because my old man was complaining because im on my phone a lot nowadays. Im on it because I need a distraction strong enough to divert myself away from my thoughts of violence. Plus im 23, it's my phone, and I pay a third of the bills.

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[Erin Hay Hay]

Originally Posted by Stuck1nhead

You know just a few minutes ago I was brushing my teeth. Then all of a sudden the thought of "what if one day my thoughts of suicide & violence becomes too strong and I can't resist??? " then I just pinched myself really hard and found a distraction.

I got chewed out the other day because my old man was complaining because im on my phone a lot nowadays. Im on it because I need a distraction strong enough to divert myself away from my thoughts of violence. Plus im 23, it's my phone, and I pay a third of the bills.

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I totally can relate! My problem is that my phone line was disconnected yesterday because I'm moving abroad and that caused me a full-blown panic attack. And what scares me the most is that lately, distractions are not enough for me...