[Sorrowful12]

Hey everyone, pretty new here and i am just looking for guidance or helpful tips from other current or past sufferers. I am just really frustrated right now. I have been getting treatment for 10+ years now and nothing really seems to get better. I have been on every drug under the sun and yet intrusive thoughts still continue to haunt me. I guess the most frustrating part of this is the fact i was misdiagnosed with bipolar type one about six years ago by an awful psychiatrist (their practice went under, probably should of been a clue). I was treated for OCD before. I guess this psychiatrist decided that seeing me happy one day justified that I had bipolar disorder. So basically i just shelved six years of my life to treating a disorder i didn't even have. Six years of just a comatose state caused by drugs that didn't even help me. Sleeping 12-15 hours a day and not being able to think and putting my life on hold. So i guess you could say i am pissed off. Every psychiatrist afterwards just nodded their head to it, never questioning it. Finally someone said something seemed off and i got off all these medications and i finally see the real me. I am an anxiety riddled mess, with the same constant obsessions that i sought treatment for in the first place. I don't have mood swings or have maniac episodes and i don't have episodes of deep depression anymore. I just have the same constant anxiety that i have been trying to deal with for 10 years. I am just so confused right now. When i was younger my obsessions were mostly about hurting myself/others. Now they have shifted to this new paradigm of health anxiety. Anytime something is wrong with myself i think Oh my god, i am going to die! I get frustrated because it seems ridiculous in my head but i cant push the thoughts out because they are so rampant. Eventually i work myself up enough and have a panic attack. I have had tons of tests done and all have come back negative so i know now that it's all in my head but it doesn't help. I am just a mess right now, i am so reluctant to try new medicine because i never want to be in that comatose state again. But on the other side of the coin i don't want to feel like this. I guess i just want to know what helped you all with moving forward?

I didn't want to make a angry first post but this is just how i am feeling right now. I realize the post is lengthy and I greatly appreciate anyone who reads through the whole mess of it.

Thanks.

[Skeezyks]

Hello Sorrowful: I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time. I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral. Hopefully coming here to PC can be of some comfort & support. I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

Hello Sorrowful12, welcome to PC! I hope you find your time here to be of benefit. Once you have 5 approved posts, you will be able to enter the chat room and talk to fellow members. There is almost always someone online to chat with.

Have you ever been to therapy for these intrusive thoughts? I used to struggle terribly with intrusive thoughts and the only thing that helped me with it was good therapy, particularly exposure therapy. Some medications can help the anxiety-related symptoms, but it won't help you to address the main issue like therapy will.

[Sorrowful12]

Hi, thank you for the responses. I have been in therapy for about 10 years now. Therapy calms me down for the week i see my therapist. However, long term it hasn't done much for my resilience i still get overwhelmed. Medication has also been pretty much a wash. I took Abilify and it worked well but slowed my mind down too much and i felt constantly fatigued. I haven't tried cognitive therapy but i am thinking about giving it a try.

Originally Posted by Sorrowful12

Hi, thank you for the responses. I have been in therapy for about 10 years now. Therapy calms me down for the week i see my therapist. However, long term it hasn't done much for my resilience i still get overwhelmed. Medication has also been pretty much a wash. I took Abilify and it worked well but slowed my mind down too much and i felt constantly fatigued. I haven't tried cognitive therapy but i am thinking about giving it a try.

I am curious, what do you do with your therapist during your sessions? Do you just talk, or have you done exposure therapy together? Frankly after 10 years of therapy you should have seen noticeable improvement or even a full recovery from intrusive thoughts.