having conversations in my head

In between therapy sessions, I talk to my therapist in my head. ALL THE TIME. He doesn't talk back (I'm not hearing voices), it's one sided. I never even imagine his responses.
I just explain stuff to him. An issue will come to my mind and I tell him about it (in my head). A lot of times this happens after "an actual Real life session", I'll worry I wasn't clear enough on a point and I’ll worry he got the wrong impression so I’ll re-explain it to him (in my head). I vary it each time to make it clearer, as if I am editing a letter to him. But I don't write it on paper, I write it, edit it, and re-edit it again and again, in my head OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER again.
And I just can't shut up!!! I have to keep editing it. Keep explaining it and re-explaining it until it's perfect. But it's never perfect.
Then after the next session, I am struck again by something else I said or he said and again I worry that there is a misunderstanding and the whole process starts all over again.
I've spent sleepless nights doing this--4 to 5 hours on the same topic! I do it during the day too. I lose all track of time. I’ll look at the clock and say its 1:00. I’ll be obsessing about therapy and I look at the clock and it’s 2:00. And I have no idea where the time went. But still I can’t stop and so I’ll keep going. Then it’s 3:00…
I just can't stop!
And when I do manage to stop, sooner or later, I am reminded of something I said in last week’s therapy or I think of something new that I’d like to talk about in the next session and it all starts over again and again….
Does anyone else do this?

((((((((((((( Lbien ))))))))))))))))

I have the tendency to do that too, I do it more when I am having a lot of anxiety. Are you on any meds? It seems better with my current med combo then it has been in the past, there are many meds that can help with obsessional thoughts, it doesn't take them away but it does help some. I take cymbalta, prozac, and xanax and then to help me sleep I take ambien and trazodone.

I have to agree with Gimmeice, it's worse when my anxiety in heighten.

Hugs,
Angel

Hi lbien6,

Yes I do. Im fairly introverted . I call it "practice" so I can speack In real life. Not that Im an actor with a script.

Its more along the lines of the way affirmations work . When the time presents itself Il hope to be cued as to how I want to respond as well as be able to ask or explain things .

I can get lost in time with it though.

Im grateful for cell phones. sometimes I talk out loud, The last time I was in a public bathroom and found myslf yammering away so I said.

Okay Sally yeah , Its been a tough week thanks for listening. Ill call you again .

LOL!!!!!!!!

And now that there are people driving with the ear phones for thier cells talking away I just fit right in , You can't tell..

And I agree with Angel, it does get worse when Im anxious and I have been and still am.

Gimmeice,

I see the word trazadone and I tremble. I was prescibed some after I had a car accident . where I got hit from behnd to help me sleep and for anziety. I took one dose woke up with a head ache and it was like I had fog in my eyes .

It was a horrible experience. I couldn't function the following day .

won't touch the stuff. Must be something about my brain.

Patricia

I find I do this quite frequently, and like you I never seem to get it perfect. When I told my t that i talk to her a lot between appointments she wanted to know about the discussions but I can't tell her. She had me start a journal hoping I could tell her that way. I have done that I now have 9 seperate journals but I can not show her.

Just adding that I totally do this, rehearse and repeat conversations to myself. Sometimes for hours, though since being on meds I haven't so much. Like you, I don't hear voices or get responses -- sometimes I remember the responses if it was ever a real conversation, but if you heard me you would think I was on the phone with someone.

I dunno, sometimes it's nice to hear that other people do the same wacky things you do, and that it's not just miscellaneous weirdness but part of an actual diagnosis. to be honest that is why i was glad to get a diagnosis, though I know a lot of people don't feel that way, but it made me feel less like I was from another planet.

yes thank God for that ...

I do that all the time. But usually its with myself or other people lol. I think its wierd but I do it so I cant say that it is LOL

((((((((("L"))))))))))

Yes, I've been doing this my whole life, all the time. Like others say, it fluctuates based on anxiety I was very su in Nov. and it wouldn't stop. I kept moving from topic to topic with a few days for each.

I do this all the time...I rehearse what I am going to say to her before my session with her. I don't tell her I do this. It helps me plan how our session will go.

Jan

I dont post here normally, but I glanced at the topic of the thread and decided to check it and BOY am I glad I did!...it's nice to know I am not the only one who does this...PHEW. I agree with Aurora...I am also introverted and tend to call this "practice". I dont tell T...she'd probably look at me like I have three heads

Good to know im not alone!

Oh yes. I have entire conversations as well. Once I told T that I had a conversation with him and he said, "How did I do?"

Don't worry...

i do this too all the time about many things, but for the most part i only go over and over and over certain conversations for hours if it was something that really bothered me. Sometimes i try think what i could have said instead to have made the conversation not go bad in the first place.

i do the same thing, i think , but i argue with my self. I also practice what im going to say for a couple hours before i talk to someone about something

I'm still doing it! Lol
Well, actually, it's not funny at all. It drives me nuts! It's not that I am self-conscious about it or think it’s so weird, although I guess it is. It’s that it happens a lot and every time it happens, it's like I get stuck in a loop and I just can't stop the conversation. It goes on for hours. And even when it stops, it usually starts again a few hours later or the next day and then the next day and then the next....

One time I saw my T and said, Hi, I've already had 5 therapy sessions with you today! He gave me an odd look. It probably would have gotten odder if I'd gone on to tell him, ea session was about the same thing we talked about last time and I had same 5 sessions each day since last time I saw you! And I pretty much said the same thing that I did last time.

However, I have found one thing that helps, a little. As soon as the session ends, even before I leave the parking lot, I whip out my journal and write down what I said that I think I said that was misleading and write out a better way to say it ONE TIME and then promise myself to read that to him at the beginning of the next session. Sometimes that will stop it. the obsessing. But, I always have to read it to him or it won’t work the next time. Even if we don’t talk about it. I just have to read it, really quick, shut the book and then when can start the session talking about whatever else.

Oh well. At least when I am having conversations with my T in my head, I am not obsessing about germs or the other things I obsess about.

Oh the joys of OCD!

you're not alone.
but i generally have conversations with myself in my head, or imagining having a conversation with someone else in my head.
what can i say i need help -_-

[quote=e_sort;900942]Just adding that I totally do this, rehearse and repeat conversations to myself.

I dunno, sometimes it's nice to hear that other people do the same wacky things you do...quote]
I do this too! So, not alone at all
I honestly thought that everyone does this to a degree. I def do it more when I'm stressed and it is kind of like rehearsing for conversations the next day. Also I find that I have arguements in my head (I'm not assertive at all and frequently let ppl walk all over me, and so I rehearse the discussion i'd have...but never do) And I run thru past conversations where I've thought I was misunderstood or thought I should have handled better etc. But unlike others, I do hear responses (not hallucinations cos it's all in my internal dialogue voice) as if I think about all the things ppl could reply with and rehearse every eventuality.
Sometimes I can lie awake for hrs running thru every eventuality but I never thought it was that big a deal...am I OCD??

*Willow*

if you don't think it is a big deal then you probably are not ocd.

Like any illness, it is not an illness unless it is distressing. or if it is interfering in your functioning. or both.

if it is keeping you from sleeping, i would say that is distressing.

but it still doesn't mean you have ocd, per say.

it could mean you are a worrier and that is a symptom of a lot of disorders.

I sometimes pretend to talk to people who arent there.

And I realize they arent there.

I do tend to do it over and over and over in my head.

But I see it as something fun to do.

Does it cause you distress when you do it?

Wow that must drive you NUTS!

Have you told your Therapist this happens?

Wow that must drive you NUTS!

Have you told your Therapist this happens?