[January]

<font color="blue">Recently I went into the chat Support Room needing help. I was so upset I couldn’t stop crying. I usually dive in to help people. I had never gone in there needing help.

Two people came in for a little while to try to help me, but they had to leave quickly. I sat there for over ½ hour by myself with tears of pain pouring down my face and a feeling of desertion from being left there alone when I knew the regular chat was absolutely full of other people.

The next day my sorrow was under control, but I felt angry and betrayed. Ryan and I talked a lot about it and he tried to tell me the sometimes people are just not able to go to support because they’re just not that strong and they would hurt themselves. I just didn’t understand.

Finally I was truly triggered by trying to help someone in chat. I had my first major bipolar episode because of it. I am not able to go to Support now without crashing again and I finally understand.

What a huge lesson in humility! I realized I wasn’t abandoned. Sometimes there’s just not anyone around who is able to help in support. We are all here because we have an issue of some kind. We have to save ourselves before we can try to save someone else.

</font>

[SeptemberMorn]

For what it's worth, I understand what you went through and what you are saying. Don't know if it helps much, but this is all I have to offer at the moment.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{January}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

[January]

Thank you September.

I surely appreciate it. It's interesting being on the other side of the fence sometimes. I have learned from it though, and I guess that's what counts the most.

Hugs,

Jan

[silver_queen]

(((((((((((((((((Jan))))))))))))))))))

[kimmydawn]

(((((((((((((((( jan ))))))))))))))))))) i agree. in fact, before i follow someone to support (especially having PTSD), i have to stop and take a mental assessment to see what kind of "place" i'm in first. good point! i'm glad you feel better about it.

[LMo]

Hi January -- I will make a point to look for solo people in Support from now on. I'm sorry you were so abandoned when you needed help. I'm glad you posted your experience as a reminder because now I will definitely keep an eye out for those who are asking for support, I promise.

Love,
LMo

[hereiam]

Jan, you know if I'm not in chat and you ever just need to vent you can PM me!

(((((jan)))))

[SS8282]

(((((((((((((((((((((((Jan))))))))))))))))))))))))))) It happened to me too - being in support chat and nobody came in. I'm sorry you had to go through that. Big hugs.

[MacD]

oh sweetie...sometimes the timing is so crappy...but as you know...i'd do anything in this world for you....long distance or not....you've got a friend...and I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed one....love ya. Grace

[January]

<font color="blue">(((((((silver))))))) right back!

Jan </font>

[January]

<font color="blue"> You understand. ((((((((((kimmy)))))))))) </font>

[January]

<font color="blue">Lmo, Thank you for watching out for people in support, but please, please only do it if you're up to it. I wouldn't wish my cycle on anyone and it was triggered by diving into something I should have avoided.

Many hugs,

Jan </font>

[LMo]

Thanks January -- I am, fortunately, free of major mental health issues so there's not a whole lot to trigger in me. Thanks for looking out for me!

[January]

<font color="blue"> I know, sweetie and I appreciate it more than I can say. Mostly I just needed...hugged? I don't know.

I just wanted to make the point that I know now that I wasn't abandoned and that if there was anyone who could, they would have helped me.

Love,

Jan </font>

[January]

<font color="blue"> SS,

Three hugs in two days! Wow!!! I've come up in the world!
I'm so sorry it happened to you, too. Maybe there wasn't anyone there who could lend their support??

Many, many hugs,

Jan</font>

[January]

<font color="blue"> I truly, truly know I have a friend in you. (Do you hear music in the background?) You've proven you friendship over and over again and I adore you.

Although I wished you were there, this has been a big learning lesson for me. Maybe one that I needed to see the big picture.

Many, many hugs,

Jan

</font>

[January]

<font color="blue"> I am so glad you are well.

Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hugs,

Jan

PS. We need to watch out for each other the best we can...</font>

[Leslie]

(((((((((((((((((((((January))))))))))))))))))))

It is good that you brought this topic up. I see support chat as very important. If someone goes there I know they are in need. If you feel the need for social chat, you shouldnt be using that particular room. That is just my opinon. If you go into support chat , please don't be e-mailing, PMing, web searching or watching TV when someone comes in hurting. They need help now not after you are done with your multitasking. We need to care enough to put these things aside when someone comes into this room. If we notice someone coming into this room and you yourself aren't able to help, be supportive enough to try to find someone who can. Maybe someone else in another chatroom, or somene who just came on line. I know I need to be more sensitive about this issue. When I say we , I am included.

((((((((((((((((((((roomies))))))))))))))))))))
Thanks ,
Leslie

[SS8282]

More hugs ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Jan)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I don't know, nobody came at all.

Take care. Hugs.

[SpazKatt]

*hugs* Jan... I try to help whenever I see a person alone in support but Indeed that there are days that I just cannot take trying to help someone that seemingly just can't be helped and it makes me feel so horrible. *HUGS* again it's NOT you at all!

[wisewoman]

Jan, my sister, sorry I missed you, I would have come, and SS, same to you. As for those wondering the sister thing our b'days are a day apart! I will be there whenever I can and always feel free to p.m. me.

[GreyGoose]

I have gone into chat myself a few times and heard others say that they felt ignored, abandoned, etc. In fact, I had a conversation last night with someone who felt that way and so I spent an extra amount of time trying to help them and cheer them up. I hope I was helpful anyway.

I think there are a number of things at work here...

* Lurkers or people who are too shy to join in a conversation
* People who are hurting so bad that they are unable to help
* People who just can't relate a particular issue someone has brought up
* Lot's of people talking at one time and so you just kind of get "lost in the crowd"

I might have missed a few reasons here. For the most part I Usually just post in the forum but I do enjoy going into chat from time to time. If you ever want to PM me you are always welcome!!:-)

((((((((January)))))))))

[Raynaadi]

so sorry jan...i know what's it's like to sit in a room alone, though for me it's when i go to social because i need a distraction from my problems. i guess there's just always times when we need to sit alone and try to cope on our own, but it sure sucks huh.