[LMo]

DocJohn, Butterfly, SC, anyone else in the professional counselling field?

Okay, I tried to take a break from spending so much time in support forums but obviously failed. Ironically, I don't even have specific support needs anymore -- I think it's just a social outlet and a distraction from stuff I don't want to do. However, it is interfering with my other responsibilities.

Do you have any psych. advice/tools as to how I can wean myself from this ?addiction?. It does feel like one. I get antsy and irritable if I can't check to see what's been going on every few minutes/hours.

Any and all advice is welcome. Thanks!

Love,
LMo

[nothemama8]

Best advice I can think of is unplug computer, lock the room it's in and give key to hubby

Angie

[LMo]

Heh!

But I work on my computer all day -- I'm a software consultant!

[nothemama8]

Okay how about putting us on lock up could you do that and have a special time to come back on????
Angie

[LMo]

Hi Angie -- thank you so much for helping! If I could figure out how to put MYSELF on a lock, then I would do it! Sounds like a good idea!

Does anyone know how to do that? I use Mozilla Firefox.

But also... I do feel that developing some self-control in this area would really be nipping it in the bud. *I* am the person who controls what I do and don't do. So if I can't control THIS, then it's something I want to work on.

Yet, I'm still here RIGHT NOW posting this!

[nothemama8]

Go out and start that catnip garden hahahaha
Angie

[LMo]

hee hee

[SpazKatt]

*hugs* JMo I know how you feel!

two ideas that i have found helpful in curtailing my time spent on the computer......(for me it was the chats!...lol)........i scheduled my computer time right into my day ie. an hour in the morning......an hour and a half in the evening.............or i used the computer time as a reward for getting done with all my other responsibilities....that way it was guiltfree time.......hope this helps a little....julia

[LMo]

TWO AND A HALF HOURS PER DAY??? YOU ONLY GET TO BE HERE 2.5 HOURS PER DAY???? AAAAAGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!

Just kidding

You're probably right. Other friends have suggested that as well. I should give it a try, but it's SO HARD to not just ... check... just in case... (in case WHAT?)

Sigh.

Thanks BL!

[vacantangel]

I wish I could give you some suggestions but I spend too much time here too. I guess self-discipline, *real* desire and determination are what you need. Never said it was gonna be easy but then again, what in life is?

[LMo]

Good point AG!
I don't have the self-discipline right now, which I guess is why I'm frustrated with myself. And I certainly dont' have *real* desire -- I'd rather hang out here all day than work

Thanks AG!

[vacantangel]

That's why I emphasized the word 'real'. Sometimes we know we should do something but we don't really want to do it. Your thoughts will change in time for you to move in that direction. All in the right timing, maybe this is not it. Only you will really know. I wish you peace. ((((((((( LMo ))))))))

[LMo]

Maybe you're right! Maybe this isn't the right time!

YIPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Only maybe I should MAKE it become the right time! Ah well, maybe tomorrow ;-)

[vacantangel]

Ok, settle down, settle down, I wasn't telling you to throw it all out the window there girl. I just think all things have their timing but sometimes you have to give that timing a little nudge too. ooops!!! Did I hear a big sigh of disappointment? What I'm saying is that you will know when you can't ignore it any longer, when you have to take the bull by the horns and step up and ACT!!!

[SpazKatt]

hee hee I'm in and out ALL day!

[LMo]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Ok, settle down, settle down, I wasn't telling you to throw it all out the window there girl.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Darn...!

[vacantangel]

Hey, nobody said you had to actually listen to me and act on what I'm telling ya. Who said I was even right anyway?

[Wants2Fly]

Hi LMo --

I've had a simlar concern. Making a big mess for myself so that I was embarrassed to show my avatar around here helped a lot.

Here are some things that are helping me to cut back:

1. The previous suggestions -- to make time here a reward for fulfilling other responsibilities

2. I removed the Forums icon from my toolbar, so that I have to go into my bookmarks. This extra process to click-through forces me to think about whether I really have time and want to be here. It also reminds me that I've made a resolve to attend to other things -- and to keep my promise to myself.

3. Going slowly. I do seem to need the support I find here and give here, so going cold turkey is not helpful for me. Not being angry with myself when I fail. I resolved that I wouldn't start posting again until April 1. But what was the point once I noticed that I was feeling less balanced without the connection. One of my spiritual mentors emphasized that it's okay to change one's mind when you decide the first decision was wrong; that it's foolish to insist on following through with a harmful course of action.

4. Setting a time limit for how much time I am allowed to spend here. That has led to making more conscious choices about which threads I will read and which I won't. For a period of time, I took pride in being a first or early responder to new people, either in responding to posts and/or with a PM. Now, I am putting my energy into consolidating and strengthening old ties. I think there are enough of us here so that there is room for each of us to put our energy into the threads and activities that bring us the most support and satisfaction.

Setting time limits for time spent here has been very helpful. It really makes me think about what I have time to read and to answer.

5. "Just say no." Sometimes I just have to say no to myself. Very very hard at first. But gotta keep trying without beating myself when I fail, just like with any addiction. I think recovering from an addiction is especially hard when it's impossible to have a complete cut-off -- as in food addiction. So long as one has to eat, there is always the temptation to eat a bit more and things that aren't good for one. Being at PC is like that for me -- I have to learn what my best balance is.

6. Becoming super sensitive to how I feel -- especially bodily symptoms. It seems you've reached a point where you suspect being here so much is not good for you. Become aware of those bodily sensations -- anxiety that you're not doing things on your to-do list. If we become unaware of those unpleasant symptoms, the "payoff" in being here decreases. By the same token, become aware of the pleasurable feelings of being here when you know that you've "earned" the joy of being here.

I am very much going through the same process. Thank you for the opportunity to write out what I've been doing -- because it has really helped me to clarify my thoughts and emotions about this thorny problem.

Good luck with it, LMo.

[SeptemberMorn]

Have you noticed I haven't been on hardly at all? Too bad you don't have grandkids or I'd know what to tell you! We went to spend the night with my youngest and then they tagged along this morning. Grandkids E-V-E-R-Y-WHERE!!!

[Wants2Fly]

Hi LMo --

I've had a simlar concern. Making a big mess for myself so that I was embarrassed to show my avatar around here helped a lot.

Here are some things that are helping me to cut back:

1. The previous suggestions -- to make time here a reward for fulfilling other responsibilities

2. I removed the Forums icon from my toolbar, so that I have to go into my bookmarks. This extra process to click-through forces me to think about whether I really have time and want to be here. It also reminds me that I've made a resolve to attend to other things -- and to keep my promise to myself.

3. Going slowly. I do seem to need the support I find here and give here, so going cold turkey is not helpful for me. Not being angry with myself when I fail. I resolved that I wouldn't start posting again until April 1. But what was the point once I noticed that I was feeling less balanced without the connection. One of my spiritual mentors emphasized that it's okay to change one's mind when you decide the first decision was wrong; that it's foolish to insist on following through with a harmful course of action.

4. Setting a time limit for how much time I am allowed to spend here. That has led to making more conscious choices about which threads I will read and which I won't. For a period of time, I took pride in being a first or early responder to new people, either in responding to posts and/or with a PM. Now, I am putting my energy into consolidating and strengthening old ties. I think there are enough of us here so that there is room for each of us to put our energy into the threads and activities that bring us the most support and satisfaction.

Setting time limits for time spent here has been very helpful. It really makes me think about what I have time to read and to answer.

5. "Just say no." Sometimes I just have to say no to myself. Very very hard at first. But gotta keep trying without beating myself when I fail, just like with any addiction. I think recovering from an addiction is especially hard when it's impossible to have a complete cut-off -- as in food addiction. So long as one has to eat, there is always the temptation to eat a bit more and things that aren't good for one. Being at PC is like that for me -- I have to learn what my best balance is.

6. Becoming super sensitive to how I feel -- especially bodily symptoms. It seems you've reached a point where you suspect being here so much is not good for you. Become aware of those bodily sensations -- anxiety that you're not doing things on your to-do list. If we become unaware of those unpleasant symptoms, the "payoff" in being here decreases. By the same token, become aware of the pleasurable feelings of being here when you know that you've "earned" the joy of being here.

I am very much going through the same process. Thank you for the opportunity to write out what I've been doing -- because it has really helped me to clarify my thoughts and emotions about this thorny problem.

BTW, you asked for people in the professional counseling field to respond. I am not. I am in long-term recovery (since 1988) from other addictions.

Good luck with it, LMo.

tomi........so glad to see your post...was worried about ya.....and i know what you mean about grandchildren! i have four....how many do you have??????.love ya!

[LMo]

EXCELLENT ideas, W2F!

I'm going to print and digest this, if you don't mind. I will comment later, but at first glance, everything looks really useful.

I miss you!

[January]

Lmo, I am by no means a professional, but I can share that I am very addicted to this site. I have had to force myself to not be here all the time. I don't have any great suggestions, but if helps at all, I do understand.

Jan

[kimmydawn]

((((((((((((((((((( LMo )))))))))))))))))))) i was having the same problem and feeling guilty about it.

what i do now is (of course tend to a two year old first ) but before i go to bed at nite i make mental and/or physical notes of what needs to be done the next day and when. i wake up and check online, then i get some things done, then i come back, then i get some more done. i also have care for the baby all day. i try to have everything done by dinnner time and, after dinner, except for putting baby to bed the puter is mine i don't feel the guilt that way.

it's really worked for me these last couple of months.

gl hon. schedule your day the night before to inlcude both work and puter

kd