Hello ,

Numerous times in the past year as well as years prior when I have shared that I have over twenty years of recovery from my eating disorder . I am asked in the next sentence or two.

Do you STill have the problem? or are you still purging. This is from doctors aqauintences and even therapists.

At a State run dental school I suffered humilaition that when I ended up standing up for myself in an email , resulted in my denial of further treament.

Im at my wits end . I was asked if I really wanteed to invest so much money in ,my dental work if I was just going to erode it all away.

I liken this to what If my oncologist said , Patricia , Now you and we know you have had a history of an eating disorder , and though you have been working on it for over 20 years , WE and you may want to consider if its worth investing in the surgery right now for this cancer .

its all concerning my heallth.


I've worked so very hard , But no one BELIEVES me .

This just further adds to my daily work on holding my head up in the midst of adversity.

Do people Listen?

Do people Trust ?
will anyone ever believe me ?

it angers me . it hurts .I have no way to prove it either.

I Shared this in therapy yesterday ,

one idea My therapist gave me was to work On educating the person as a response to ingnorance. Which takes time.
Im just PLUM TIRED of first risking divulging such private delicate info with others

The most recent faux puax was in my work up for cancer .
they wrote .

Patient was hopsitalized in 1986 for eating disorder...

WHAT! I was never ever hospitalized for it . I recoverd from it fully in that year.I did it all out patient over a four year period . I know the evry detail of my recovery most precious and hard won.

Why does this happen ? Why after I tell a doctor my history do they turn around and act as if Im a LIER!

this is a rant. It hurts its INSULTING . and it angers and frustates me.

Some sugestions on what to say to these doctors and other people when they do this beides to just let it roll off my back would be appreciated.

Im cannot respond imediately when people do this .Im not an on my feet thinker . I feel the hit in the gut and then it comes back to me and I beat myself up for not being able to respond when its being said.

so practice will help me
This just came to me .

I could ask.

Why after I just told you I Had an eating disorder and have had 20 some years of recovery do you turn and ask me if its still a problem?

and see what they say.

Patricia

[Sannah]

I have read doctor's notes which were inaccurate to what I told them. I think that it has more to do with them than it does with me. They just make mistakes.

I see how most of us here are affected by the subjects of truth and lies. It seems that most of us who have had an unfortunate childhood have real strong feelings about the truth. For myself I figured out that I feel so strongly about the truth because I watched my mom make up the "truth" all my life. It really leaves an imprint on you.

I think that it is a good idea to ask them this question that you have at the bottom of your post when they respond like that.......

On second thought, I was wondering if the confusion is just how people interpret recovery??? I think that it can be interpreted both ways - 1) that you have recovered and 2) that you have been battling it........

[VickiesPath]

I can certainly identify with your problem and am so sorry it causes you such problems and such pain.

From 1990 to 1999, I attended AA. I decided to go on my own, no one told me to, I had just decided that I drank too much and drank mostly alone and it needed to stop. I eventually learned through therapy that my drinking was self-medication for an undiagnosed mental illness and I also moved in 1999 to another state and simply did not continue going to AA. Since that time, I have never abused alcohol and today very rarely drink.

A couple years ago, I had to go inpatient for four days in order to change a medication I was taking. I made the mistake of writing on my history that I had attended AA. Every single day, numerous times daily, someone asked me if I was having "the shakes" and did I need anything for withdrawal. No matter how many times I told them I had NOT been drinking and was not there for detox, no one would believe me!!! This was the most BIZARRE place I had ever been. I could not wait to get out of there.

Now, I never mention that I ever went to AA. I was never formally treated in a treatment facility for alcoholism so there is not an official record of treatment. So, to avoid such a stupid thing from happening again, I don't even mention it.

[pachyderm]

Originally Posted by auroralso

Do people Listen?

No.


But you knew that already...

[*freak*]

I'm so sorry you get treated like this, I can sense your pain through your post...

Like you said, the majority of people is ignorant and they're extremely ignorant about EDs or mental health in general. So they're being insensitive without even realizing it. Always remember it's their problem, not yours. Yes, it hurts, but it's not your fault and you certainly don't deserve it.

I truely wish you all the best

[birdmom3]

This does happen often. I have a disease called Meniere's that is a middle ear disease and it causes dizzy spells, vertigo, nausea and balance problems. If I went to an emergency room the doctors there would think i was drunk at one of my worst times. And a Ear doctor would know about these things. But dizzy spells make the interns think a person is under the influence of alcohol.

Can you get proof that you are no longer suffering from an eating disorder?

Good Luck

birdmom3

[deliquesce]

ugh. that would make me furious.

i wonder if (since you said you are not an "on your feet" thinker - and i wouldnt be either, if i was seeing red!) - oh yeah - i wonder if maybe you could write out your history, or even better - get your therapist to write a letter confirming that you have not engaged in unhealthy eating behaviours for over 20 years now and that you are firmly committed to maintaining that and will not let something that far removed endanger your current health concerns.

i dont think it's worth the effort of educating people (i mean, it probably is - but when you're tired & stressed anyway, it's not really your responsibility, yknow?). so i was thinking, just fight fire with fire, and pull out the letter from your treating professional - Drs tend to listen to each other before they will ever listen to the real expert - the client .

Originally Posted by Sannah

I have read doctor's notes which were inaccurate to what I told them. I think that it has more to do with them than it does with me. They just make mistakes.

Yes they most certainly do and I encourage everyone who is in treatment be it medical or mental health to ask to see what is being written down about you.

People do not hear correctly . And since I have ADHD ( self diagnoisied so far) I know how easy it is to do this . And how it could be difficut to follow broken interupted thought processes that are frequently thought but not always verbalized.

Tommorrow morning I have to sit with a therapist so we can read through an old therapists report of me from two years ago that has me kicked out a therapy group I was never in. I was only in one theraputic group and i left that group to go to sschool. this along with about five numeric mistakes of my theraputic history . And Id like to make a notaion that my "disheveld" appearance is not do to low self esteem and or depression, but of a woman who works her hind end off in these humoungous gardens and has not the ENERGY or TIME to shower do make up for an hour appointment and then rush home and put on my muddy clothes .

and that notation that I screwed the foot ball team .. and the trip to mexico for a supply run.. Just aint so!

any way .. I need the report because it has my testing for adhd ,it has to be corrected first.

I see how most of us here are affected by the subjects of truth and lies. It seems that most of us who have had an unfortunate childhood have real strong feelings about the truth. For myself I figured out that I feel so strongly about the truth because I watched my mom make up the "truth" all my life. It really leaves an imprint on you.

Something to think about . TRUST , being trusted by a parent or friend and the being Honest . yes most certainly Sannah.

Its the labels that can bring more baggage than a car has room for .

On second thought, I was wondering if the confusion is just how people interpret recovery??? I think that it can be interpreted both ways - 1) that you have recovered and 2) that you have been battling it........

I had this come to me shortly after I typed this thread . I think many just don't beieve its possible to recover or they have no idea what it takes to recover as in ongoing work to stay in remission . to use a cancer term.

My priamry care doc said this to me after I gave her a very honest and full run down of my history.

" well is the eating a problem , do you have it undercontrol. ? "



talk about not feeling heard . This Keeps hapening .

Its time to speack up as its happening.

Thanks Shanna for your input.

Patricia

Hi Vickey

Originally Posted by Vickie in Phoenix

From 1990 to 1999, I attended AA. ..... I eventually learned through therapy that my drinking was self-medication for an undiagnosed mental illness ...

I get a chuckle out of Bills

"some suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders , but they too can recover if they have the capasity to be honest"

Bill just had an alchohol problem... once that was taken care of the throwing his clothes out a three story window and then streacking down main street behavior stopped .

I made that up..

A couple years ago, I had to go inpatient for four days in order to change a medication I was taking. I made the mistake of writing on my history that I had attended AA. Every single day, numerous times daily, someone asked me if I was having "the shakes" and did I need anything for withdrawal. No matter how many times I told them I had NOT been drinking and was not there for detox, no one would believe me!!! This was the most BIZARRE place I had ever been. I could not wait to get out of there.

One would end up shaking after such ingnorant treatment.

I know that had to be unbeliveable . Vickie and madenning for you ..

BUT !... Last night I was rolling on the bed laughing at your story ! you jumped me right out of my sadness.

Now, I never mention that I ever went to AA. I was never formally treated in a treatment facility for alcoholism so there is not an official record of treatment. So, to avoid such a stupid thing from happening again, I don't even mention it.

Yes Im one of the very high bottom drinkers myself . I mention I do not drink because it effects my emotions and gets me laid when its not in my best intrest . Twice I felt the wagging of the come hither pull of addiction and knew where to go fortunately . Thats about the extent of it for me . I do not mention I attend AA . I go to AA for the CBT like /spiritaulity combo ( as my T puts it)

its sad when we are so forthcomming with our histories and have to suffer the insensitive unenlightened fall out from sharing Thats what this thread is all about.

I enjoyed your contribution Vickie .


Patricia

Your next... Pachy....

Originally Posted by pachyderm

No.


But you knew that already...

I've always been drawn to those who speack so much in a few words .

For instance . The many times I have spent 20 minutes or so giving a run down of the weeks angsts and the response after a pause is .

Mizz X how can I help you ?

or Miss x How can I help you.. Today ?



LOL!!!!!!!



Patricia

Originally Posted by *freak*

Like you said, the majority of people is ignorant and they're extremely ignorant about EDs or mental health in general. So they're being insensitive without even realizing it. Always remember it's their problem, not yours. Yes, it hurts, but it's not your fault and you certainly don't deserve it.

I truely wish you all the best

Thanks not a freak the reason this is so fresh on my mind is I was sharing more and more with a fellow skater at my rink this sunday. I never intended to share . shes an owner of two or three pharmacies in town and knows one of the sons of the allergist who mloested me . So In telling the story of this monster I mentioned I had an eating disorder and he knew it.
She asked "Is it bulimia" and The answer just poped out. Yes

Lately because of my cancer I've been sharing more than usual just need to talk and this woman is the rink GOSSIP and makes it her buisness to share all the soap opera like goings on. I have fallen into it a bit and its something I dislaike so because its so damaging .

and she said after i shared . Well is the eating still a problem?

I don't trust her but I shared . So Im kicking myself ..
I work very hard to keep my figure nice and I DO NOT CHEAT .

This woman shares none of her dirty laundry . Individulas like that exude a sense of power so its very difficult for me to see them as the ones who are having the problem .
Ill try to ..

Thank you NAF !

Patricia

Originally Posted by birdmom3

This does happen often. I have a disease called Meniere's that is a middle ear disease and it causes dizzy spells, vertigo, nausea and balance problems. If I went to an emergency room the doctors there would think i was drunk at one of my worst times. And a Ear doctor would know about these things. But dizzy spells make the interns think a person is under the influence of alcohol.

Can you get proof that you are no longer suffering from an eating disorder?

Good Luck

birdmom3

thanks for sharing about your condition Birdmom . Its a new one for me. It woud be frustrating to have that and not be belived and given a breathalzer test woudn't it. much of this ties into my reading the Book Nightbird recomended on cancer ediquite The author brings forth some salient points aroud the kinds of responses people give to cancer patients and I thought what she writes applies to may disorders .An ediquite book could be fashioned to cover a broader rage of illnesses or disorders I belive .



Patricia

Originally Posted by deliquesce

ugh. that would make me furious.

i wonder if (since you said you are not an "on your feet" thinker - and i wouldnt be either, if i was seeing red!) - oh yeah - i wonder if maybe you could write out your history, or even better - get your therapist to write a letter confirming that you have not engaged in unhealthy eating behaviours for over 20 years now and that you are firmly committed to maintaining that and will not let something that far removed endanger your current health concerns.

Its sad to think I woud have to go to such lenghths to have to write it all out and hand a signed document to doctors (thinking about the dentist) in order to be believed.

I do have difficuty writing things out . I have told my story to therapists many times just not in writing,

the statistics for recovery for an eating disorder are rare so most assume one always is sliping . And what some woud considered recoverd You have to eat tripple chockolate cake everyday and not compain for instance can make it difficut to stand tall and state recovery . Its not the same as nver picking up again its more like why are you so picky relax ! have a big mac YUCK!!!

Anytime I felt like a return might be o the horizon I woud rush in to see a doc to talk if i did not have a therapist . so my medical record has this on record . and not much else because I 've been so healthy .

Even the way its writen has me at my worst and the cumuitive effect looks bad.Lie Im always struggling.

I don't stop in when Im fine which is the majority of the time . I run for help because I don't want to go back there.

One therapist I started with was a man who had a weight problem . he got pretty upset when I said i do not need to talk about food issues because thats not my problem right now.

I never once had to talk about food and left him to take care of his own problem.

I think in general the public has this image of addicts being liers cheats and thiefs which can be true when not in recovery .

When some expects a person to be a certain way and conveys that, it can have a effect of bringing it about.

The recovery road has many chalenges .

Thanks Deliquesce

Patricia

[*freak*]

Originally Posted by auroralso

This woman shares none of her dirty laundry . Individulas like that exude a sense of power so its very difficult for me to see them as the ones who are having the problem

Yeah, I know what you mean... It happens to me too sometimes. I try to remember that those who seem most in control of their lives have often more weaknesses and troubles than us, who are visibly struggling. They just keep it all inside

Thank you NAF !

You're very very welcome