I need help. Please anyone

I have depression. But I feel hopeless. My husband said he has hated to be married to me. I cry all the time. I am just not happy. I am not sure where to go from here. I think I may also be bipolar but have not asked the doctor. I am so scared to and if so I do not want my husband to know. He has treated me so bad since I have had depression. He only makes it worse for me. He had done things to me where now I have trust issues with him. He is not there like he should be for me and I am not sure what to do. Do I need to talk to someone? Does my meds need to be changed? OR do I just need to leave this marriage and take care of myself for a change. Please help.

Hi, I'm so sorry you are having a rough time right now. I would put any thoughts of leaving on hold for now. Do you have a psychiatrist that prescribes medicine for you? I am bipolar. I'm going to go on the assumption that you are bipolar and tell you what I think you should do.

First, mental illness is very hard on the family, too. They do not understand why their loved one is acting the way they are acting. I've been married for ten years to a basically wonderful guy. But the first time I went through a depression after marrying him, he thought I was being lazy and got angry. Since that time, he's read a lot and learned a lot about my illness. He is very supportive now.

What makes you think you are bipolar? Have you had periods of highs where your behavior has been extremely "up"? If you are taking antidepressants (especially an SSRI) and you are actually bipolar, then that is not a good thing because the meds can make you worse. What you need to do is get a psychiatrist if you don't already have one. Don't let your regular doctor prescribe psychiatric meds for you. Get a good, detailed evaluation and diagnosis. Sometimes, you need to keep a mood chart for a period of time to track the ups and downs. Then if they show that you are truly bipolar, you will be treated with a mood stabilizer and perhaps a small dose of antidepressant, but not always. The mood stabilizer will make the biggest difference.

Most people who have mental health illnesses do also see a therapist. On this website, you will see them referred to as "T". You can get some good support from a therapist. Sounds like you could use it.

Please try to get a good psychiatrist and an accurate diagnosis as soon as possible. Also, you might want to have your husband read up on depression and bipolar illness. Both can be found on this same website.

Keep us informed of your progress. We all care about you.

I would go to pdoc, and see what the Dr. tells you. If your husband is really upseting you, tell him to lay off until you find out what is going on.

Baby4Kids ~

I am sorry that this is such a difficult time for you and your family. I'm not Bi-Polar, but I do live with Depression and it is terrible on it's best days.

Just wanted to offer my support and say that I really agree with Vickie in Phoenix. I think she hit the nail on the head. Don't run to the idea of leaving at this point...get in to see a therapist and yes, find a psychiatrist or Nurse Practitioner that specializes in meds. Get a good eval/diagnosis and then you can get yourself stabilized and you and your T can help you husband to learn and understand what you are experiencing.

This is a process though and will take some time and commitment on both you and your husbands parts. Ultimately, if your husband is not willing to commit to the relationship and allow himself to be educated and understanding, at that point you can explore other options.

Know you've got friends here who care and will be here for you regardless.

Take care!!

Thank all of u for your support. It really does mean alot to me. I am just in a very low place right now. I do not have a therapist. I only have a normal doctor. He has put me on antidepression meds but that is all. I do not have the money for a therapist at this time. So I kinda stuck in this back place for now. I have many periods of highs. I have alot of racing thoughts in my head daily. I think of stuff that my husband may be doing that would hurt me and believe it even if it is not true.

You need to go see a pdoc. They would be able to tell you everything that is going on. Another thing you can do is check in your community to see if there is a mental health clinic where it is free. My pdoc is free with the community. Pdoc's are very exspensive. Down here they start at $350.00 an hour. Look in your phone book under the government section.

baby4kids,
I add my support and encouragement along with the other posters. They have given you some very good suggestions, and I hope you can use them to make your life better.

jerrymichele was right about community services. my daughter received counseling through United Way/Family Services. The fee was based on her income, which was very low so she paid only a small fee. This counselor is a professional, helped my daughter in many ways, and guided her to other services she was eligible for help.
Perhaps it would be worth it to check into what is available for you...

I offer my apology if this offends you...but, if you have any suspicion of your husband physically hurting you or your children, please don't hesitate to call the Domestic Violence helpline for help...they will do everything they can to help you.

You are not alone, we care
Please let us know how you are doing, ok?

In Peace