[InfiniteSadness]

does anyone else feel they're going to end up there sooner or later? I feel like I can't go on with my life or make big plans/changes within the past year because i'm always worried about ending up inpatient..

[TheDragon]

“Everything tells me that I am about to make a wrong decision, but making mistakes is just part of life. What does the world want of me? Does it want me to take no risks, to go back to where I came from because I didn't have the courage to say "yes" to life?”

-Paulo Coelho

[Alter Ego]

Originally Posted by InfiniteSadness

does anyone else feel they're going to end up there sooner or later? I feel like I can't go on with my life or make big plans/changes within the past year because i'm always worried about ending up inpatient..

Yes. On the 11th i'm seeing a therapist after a while and i am dreading her conclusions are going to be hospitalization. On the other side for months now i've been reobsessing myself with hospitalization and to a degree covet it, thinking it would perhaps resolve all of the problems that obstruct the lives of people around me due to my condition.

Best to try not to think about it.

[newtus]

yea. and the thing is i get pressure a lot from mental health pros to go. inside of me i know i should go but i also KNOW it would not help me and it would be such a waste of time and money for me. i feel nearly all the time i cant go on wif my life.

after being in hospital so much i try to think of what the worst possible scenario is as long as i dont do anything criminal you know? and that would be going in the hospital. so its like if i end up in the hospital - well im in the hospital right? but while im not - well than im worrying about it. i think thats what helps me go ahead and take the risks. i feel like if both leads to possibly hospital then why sit and worry about it. thats just me though. some people it cant work that way.

[InfiniteSadness]

Its SO hard to live my life this way. Its ALL i practically think about half the time... Like "should i go?" "when am i gonna reach my breaking point and give up and go..." Its always in the back of my head... I don't know what to do. I think about it so much...

*i know im very dysfunctional... i just dont know sometimes if I'm 'hospital time' dsyfunctional...

[Pikku Myy]

Even if I sometimes feel I should be admitted.... No thank you!!!! Much better to try and seek out-patient help first!!! Hugs and good luck

[greentires4me]

I have been in hospital more times then I can count on my fingers for various things most of my suicide attempts I been actually hospitalized 3 times. I think I have an obsession with the hospital...

[avlady]

in sometimes feel it comforting to think of hospital stays just so i don't have to figure out my med schedule which drives me crazy!!!!!!!!! i am on about 10 different meds throughout the day

[Piraeus]

I am never ever ever going back to the hospital. I have been to 3 different hospitals.
None of them were a good experience for me. I don't think about it too much though.
I hope you don't have to go to the hospital. I would try outpatient first if you can.

[BeeKeeper]

I'm lucky to have a really good acute inpatient facility near me. It's not a real hospital and was designed only for mental health care, so there are constant support groups and activities happening and the staff are amazing- ridiculously caring and invested in the well being of the patients.

I'm embarrassed to say that I use it as a crutch and I feel weirdly at home there. It's like having a pop up support system. They've saved my life a few times.
That being said, normal hospitals are a nightmare. I would go to the ends of the earth for good outpatient therapy before ever going back to a normal hospital psych unit.

But I do feel like I spend a lot of time waiting to be hospitalized again. It just feels inevitable sometimes, so I totally relate to that.

[newtus]

Originally Posted by BeeKeeper

I'm lucky to have a really good acute inpatient facility near me. It's not a real hospital and was designed only for mental health care, so there are constant support groups and activities happening and the staff are amazing- ridiculously caring and invested in the well being of the patients.

I'm embarrassed to say that I use it as a crutch and I feel weirdly at home there. It's like having a pop up support system. They've saved my life a few times.
That being said, normal hospitals are a nightmare. I would go to the ends of the earth for good outpatient therapy before ever going back to a normal hospital psych unit.

But I do feel like I spend a lot of time waiting to be hospitalized again. It just feels inevitable sometimes, so I totally relate to that.

you are REALLY lucky.
its hard to find a good hospital IF someone even wants to go.
i understand the inevibility.

[BeeKeeper]

Originally Posted by newtus

you are REALLY lucky.
its hard to find a good hospital IF someone even wants to go.
i understand the inevibility.

I didn't even realize how spoiled I was until they sent me to a different hospital after I ended up in the ER...
Plus, major bonus, they take insurance just like a normal hospital.

It's like crazy person nirvana.

[shery53]

Originally Posted by InfiniteSadness

does anyone else feel they're going to end up there sooner or later? I feel like I can't go on with my life or make big plans/changes within the past year because i'm always worried about ending up inpatient..

I know how you feel has been a year since I have been in the hospital. Even though my family assures me I do not need to go back. Every time I see my doc I am afaid he will say I do. I know the hospial does help but I do not want to go back.

[Hellion]

I don't know that it's really something I should worry about, but I tend to worry about being forced into one or going in voluntarily and being forced to remain due to bad med reactions or getting overstressed by the noise and lights and crap and freaking out. I guess it's because I wont just go along with anything a mental health professional says without question...but I can't exactly say I am fine without any help as the symptoms do interfere with my functioning. I am not so sure the mental health system can provide the help I need...so it sometimes feels quite pointless attempting to depend on it. To top it off I feel like the world/society is insane and irrational yet society defines what's healthy and sane?

[Patoman04]

I had an obsession with inpatient for a long time. It eventually got to a point where I did some horrible things that ended up putting me there for two weeks. I hated it and never want to go back, but at the same time I'm glad I went. I no longer think about going back and I've finally been able to make mental progress in my life. Its perfectly normal to fear a place like that. It isn't a fun/pleasant place to be!

[InfiniteSadness]

Originally Posted by Piraeus

I am never ever ever going back to the hospital. I have been to 3 different hospitals.
None of them were a good experience for me. I don't think about it too much though.
I hope you don't have to go to the hospital. I would try outpatient first if you can.

Why was it so bad?!

[sewerrats]

Is actually pretty hard to get in mental hosptial in England then i week is a long stay. Your not missing out on no going its not the coolest play to be an you can come out damaged, it would be cool if they just put you to sleep for a week , you wake and go home. There is a lot going on you wont want to see, but some times you have to be in for your own safety , isolation room then General ward.I would love to say it halped me but sadly it made me worse , the patient are cool the staff

[InfiniteSadness]

arent there some people that are committed for a really long time? but i never understood how this is determined... ? (like people that are practically living at a hospital or treatment center) i've seen this on television..

[sewerrats]

Originally Posted by InfiniteSadness

arent there some people that are committed for a really long time? but i never understood how this is determined... ? (like people that are practically living at a hospital or treatment center) i've seen this on television..

They are lost souls, constant suicide threat , almost untreatable there there for there own safety and the public. every mental hospital has only 1 or 2 the rest are out of there has fast has they can get you, you not sent out well or cured just a bit more stable. But if like me when you get home and reolise what has just happened in your life DDDDDDDDDOWN you go , you never forget the mental zoo, stay away from if you can .

[sugahorse1]

I think if it is inevitable, there's no point in wasting time procrastinating. I also have a dedicated mental health hospital that I have been to, and it too can seem like a crutch.
I also know that hospitals like this were created for a reason and I sometimes cannot bear the responsibility of another day of depression, so I use the facilities I have at my disposal

[sewerrats]

Originally Posted by sugahorse1

I think if it is inevitable, there's no point in wasting time procrastinating. I also have a dedicated mental health hospital that I have been to, and it too can seem like a crutch.
I also know that hospitals like this were created for a reason and I sometimes cannot bear the responsibility of another day of depression, so I use the facilities I have at my disposal

That's fair enough , I could run back an forth anytime of day to my hospital, I still have regular check ups. But I don't need to stay in the zoo. I have never come out feeling any better , I have seen them in and out because the carnt face the outside world. Im not falling into that trap. life is outside hospital not inside, it just stands still in there your surrounded by things that remind you your ill and make me worse , and I have been in for suicide attempt It don't get much worse than that. I watched a program last night in a teenage mental hospital. They wanted them out has fast has the could , get the right med and out they went. they can only point you in the right direction its up to you to take it.

[sugahorse1]

I think it's good for acute situations and when you are basically not able to function any more.
But I agree that it is a fake world in there and it often is a huge shock having to come out into the real world.
My hardest stay was probably the last time I went in. I was about to have a nervous breakdown and had pretty much given up. For 3 days I was dosed on Geodon injections and basically just slept. It did help me tho to not have to worry about anything for those days. The next 2 days I then spent trying to find my feet

[sewerrats]

Originally Posted by sugahorse1

I think it's good for acute situations and when you are basically not able to function any more.
But I agree that it is a fake world in there and it often is a huge shock having to come out into the real world.
My hardest stay was probably the last time I went in. I was about to have a nervous breakdown and had pretty much given up. For 3 days I was dosed on Geodon injections and basically just slept. It did help me tho to not have to worry about anything for those days. The next 2 days I then spent trying to find my feet

Yes your right in a situation like that, It would be nice if we went in be injected go to sleep for 4 days wake up and go home. But suicide attempt and you treated like your nothing, you could be locked in what looks like a cell , looked down on by the staff has a weak nobody, a lot come out and get it right the next time they try , sooner than go back in the zoo, its true what they say its a jungle in there not out you have to learn to survive. And if it wernt for the patients who become your friends your done, make no mistake you must make friends or its bad news .

[Summer13]

I hope you receive the help you need.

[newtus]

i agree its a fake world.
the hospital is good for acute yes.
but going many times and like long term stays its hell. if you are unable to handle your life in your own home and the real world - then the hospital is far far far worse.

ive been in over a dozen times. sometimes for long periods. and i appreciate the freedoms i have to go outside on my porch if i want to or not. and if i do i can stay there for however long i want. also my freedom to goto food places i want. to goto a bookstore. a movie. whatever. or even freedom to say no to medication that harms me.

i used to hate the real world so much. and found solace in hospitals. cuz of the care. but i learned fast that the workers there dont care as much as they portray themselves to. a few may care but its their job too to care for you. they got their life in the real world. plus the freedom to go places and to deny and choose things was a huge huge huge deal for me. when it comes down to it they arent really looking to care for you in there. they are first and foremost doing their job to manage caseloads and get people stabilized and out so they can help others and so on and so on. ive been told a few times its their job to get you stabilized. think about that. not their job to care for you or to necessarily help you AS MUCH AS get you stabilized to keep you going in the real world.