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#1
Oct 02, 2009, 12:07 AM
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It is a strange phenomena.......being antisocial.....
When you're young, you feel isolated, misunderstood, aloof... Then you get older, and you become part of a team in your working life, and your co-workers wonder why you do not want to get caught up in petty crap. And the people that don't know you don't understand why you do not want to be their friend, or why you do not need multitudes of people around you everyday to tell you "that you are okay". People irl have accused me of being remote, cold and disinterested... Not true.......I am just very selective about who I spend my time with. And I do not need others to tell me who I am....... The point of this is........that last week I was invited to a baby shower by someone whom I have known for a long time but have little to do with and I say " I do not like groups, I do not like people......I would love to come, but I am not interested" and they say "Haven't you gotten over that yet?" What? Am I supposed to "grow out of it"? Do people grow out of anti-sociability? I do not want to......I do love, but I am selective about loving. And I see little point in spending quality time with people I do not love......nor putting myself through the horror and noise of "the group". I thought it was funny.......like "haven't you grown up yet, Michah?".......and I say "Most definitely! And the reason I know this, is because I have the maturity and the wisdom to not care what you think." Give me anti-sociability anyday!!! Michah
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For all things Light and Dark.......http://thedemonrun.wordpress.com/  The only Truth that exists..... .........Is that there is no absolute Truth. |
 miray
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#2
Oct 02, 2009, 12:17 AM
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People say that I'm anti-social, but I disagree. I'm a very social person, with those people that I want around me. I don't need everyone to love or even understand me to make me feel loved.
For me, it started when my kids were small and hubby and I worked a lot of hours. That gave us very limited down time with our kids. Co-workers and acquaintances would ask over and over why we didn't go this function or that. I'd tell them flat out that our time off is reserved for our kids. People thought/think we're snobs because I just don't have the time, patience, or tolerance for all of the drama that goes with that large group mentality. They think I'm selfish (perhaps I am) because I don't put myself out for random people.
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I've been married for 24 years and have four wonderful children. |
| Junerain, miray
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#3
Oct 02, 2009, 12:30 AM
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Quote:
Cheers, Michah
__________________
For all things Light and Dark.......http://thedemonrun.wordpress.com/ The only Truth that exists..... .........Is that there is no absolute Truth. |
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#4
Oct 02, 2009, 01:08 PM
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Michah,
You sound a lot like my husband (D) and my best friend. They are both men who are intreverted and very selective as to who has access to their inner circle. For me, it has been much a learning process. Shy and quiet are two words that have never been used to describe me.  It has taken me quite some time to respect how they are. I love them both dearly, and as they have excepted my talkitiveness and outgoingness, so I accept their personalities. My bf is very good at having conversations with people and coming off friendly, without revealing much about himself. The funny thing is, my bf finds me funny as all get out and he laughs at me a lot. D has admitted that the one thing he admires most about me is that I make friends where ever I go. That being said, I am selective of who I allow to get truly close to me. I have this issue with D which I won't get into detail here, but we are working on it. Other than my family, there are only 2 others who truly know me and love me unconditionally, having seen my best and worst. If you ask people questions about them selves, you don't have to do the talking, and you will be remembered as friendly and a "great conversationalist" even though you don't have to say much. 
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I am not a medical or mental health professional, nor do I play one on TV, I just talk kinda like one!  Blessed are the cracked for they let in the light! They say I have A.D.D. but I think they are full off...  Oh look! A CHICKEN! Be careful how you look at the world, it may look back!  How do you want to be seen? |
| Michah
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#5
Oct 02, 2009, 02:05 PM
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Quote:
 .Quote:
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| Michah
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#6
Oct 02, 2009, 04:32 PM
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(Michah))))))))))) You are so very kind and Supportive loving and caring.
You came to my side ....just when I needed support on going to the hospital...that my friend is love You said (((Not true.......I am just very selective about who I spend my time with. And I do not need others to tell me who I am.......))))))))) There is nothing wrong with that at all. You do not have to tell ppl who you are. If they are your true friends they will know and see you for you. I do not think your being anti-social...... your showing good self care. I know you know everyone matters 
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| Michah
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#7
Oct 02, 2009, 05:45 PM
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people will always think what they think and we cant control it (((Micah)))) you know who you are and what you stand for.. be true to you
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| Michah, muffy, theotterone
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#8
Oct 02, 2009, 05:54 PM
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Quote:
AMEN! I second and third that!
__________________
I am not a medical or mental health professional, nor do I play one on TV, I just talk kinda like one! Blessed are the cracked for they let in the light! They say I have A.D.D. but I think they are full off... Oh look! A CHICKEN! Be careful how you look at the world, it may look back! How do you want to be seen? |
| Michah
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#9
Oct 02, 2009, 06:01 PM
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I agree ...in life thats all we can be is true ourselves and stand up for what we believe in....................
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| Michah
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#10
Oct 03, 2009, 11:12 AM
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Michah,
Quote:
BTW... if you think you might be an introvert, read this for a laugh as this essay hits the nail on the head, lol! http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200303/rauch |
| Michah
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#11
Oct 03, 2009, 09:31 PM
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I never knew there was an age that you become a social butterfly.
I like you just the way you are Michah .  
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| Michah
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#12
Oct 03, 2009, 09:47 PM
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It's odd that you would choose the term social butterfly as that was my nickname growing up. I still will go out of my way to go to partys, dinners, functions for loved ones (whether I like it or not). But just not for random people. Because I work with you, live next to you, you're my best friend's friend, whatever does not mean that I'm going to any function you put on.
Perhaps I bring some of the ... stigma upon myself. If you start working with me or happen to attend a function I'm at given by a loved one, I will do everything within my power to make you feel comfortable and at home. If I run into you around town, I will be pleasant. I guess I'm sending mixed messages.
__________________
I've been married for 24 years and have four wonderful children. |
| Michah
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#13
Oct 04, 2009, 06:10 AM
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I have many aquaintances but no one tah I would actually hangout with. I have 2 friends...one that calls me once a week to check...the other is my best friend...well at least that's what I consider her to me...but I haven't spoken to her in over 2 months...she gets mad at me because I don't want to do things...she has tons of energy and is always "doing lunch" but I hate talking to people face to face or on the phone...I have to be in the mood and that is very rare. When I was at work I was a manager and I was the complet opposite...I was in control and my employees looked up to me for guidance. I tend to be whoever the person(s) expect me to be...which is why I hate being around people...I just want to be me...miserable and quiet...I don't invite anyone to my house anymore because I feel I have to "entertain" them...which is what I feel conversation is. So, YES...I understand being anti-social...I hate it and I love it at the same time...it's a warm blanket to protect me but sometimes it gets too hot and burns me and whoever is beside me. (my attempt at being profound)
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#14
Oct 04, 2009, 06:13 AM
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The reply I just gave was meant for the original post...ooops...I'm learning.
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#15
Oct 04, 2009, 02:31 PM
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(Michah, please permit me a brief digression to address Catherina's question.)
Quote:
was that at all clear?)We do have a choice of how to read discussions (see the Display Modes button in the blue bar at the top of the page). I gather that "Linear" is the default mode and most people just leave theirs that way. You apparently have yours in linear mode and you're surprised that it's not showing up in threaded mode instead. FWIW, when I tried threaded mode just now your posts did show up as replies to Michah's. I don't know, though, how many others are going to be reading in anything but linear mode. --------------------------- Darn! I just coined the expression "social caterpillar" and was looking forward to trying it out and finding out what it was going to mean -- only I seem not to have been quite the first to coin it  :Results 1 - 10 of about 33,300 for "social caterpillar" (Going back to my social cocoon now.) |
| Michah
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#16
Oct 04, 2009, 05:37 PM
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Thanks all for your great replies.......some wonderful insights....
Yep, loving just the way I am...... Big Hugs, Michah
__________________
For all things Light and Dark.......http://thedemonrun.wordpress.com/ The only Truth that exists..... .........Is that there is no absolute Truth. |
| muffy
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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Depression is not a weakness ...... it is a sign that you have been strong for too long. 
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