What's wrong with this picture?

My intetion today was to bring up a subject that has been appearing quite often in my inbox. I come to "General" and I see it appear even in public.

This site was started by Doc John so that those who come here can receive caring, understanding and support from people that have mental illnesses in common, yet less and less people find what they are so badly needing. Instead, they are finding negativity in many forms.

First, there are those that don't like what this site is about and try to go about changing it starting with the established rules that were put in place with a well thought-out process, by a licensed, experienced pshycologist who knows what works and what doesn't.

Then there are those that have absolutley no patience, understanding or thoughtfulness for the illnesses and feelings of others. Instead of doing the judicial thing by not answering, they scold and demean. They never give one thought to how they would feel if someone responded to them in the way they respond to others.

Yes, some are ahead of the game. Some have lived with their own issues longer than others, some have learned to get a grip on better coping mechanisms, but let's not forget that no matter how much we suffer, how hard we work at getting better, how much effort we put out to become better people, none of us is better than the next person! Look around! We're all in the same boat! And this isn't "The Lifeboat Game" where we pick and choose survivors by what they can offer the rest of the group! We are ALL worthwhile human beings. Each of us have something of value to offer. Just because some can't see it, it doesn't mean it doesn't exist! Maybe we need to take a long, hard look at ourselves and remove the blinders we've put on... or the log that is in our own eye that keeps us from seeing clearly.

There is no challenge, not much merit in loving the lovable. The challenge comes in caring about those that are unlovable.

I hurt a bit on reading this....(tendency to blame myself)

((((((safe hugs for all))))))) (including me....selfish as I am..)

I posted a lot in support of others on another forum, at the neglect of myself. I started a psychotherapy training and had to terminate it because it was damaging my emotional health.

*self centred and scared*

sorrel

Interesting post Sept!!

I know I have spoken of this before...... but I wish my former THERAPIST had behaved according to this idea. He stated that I was not "endearing" and treated me like &^^%%^ .

Sorry about the unmoderate post,
Bear

No need to take on guilt that isn't yours. You're new, right? Surely you haven't done any of these things. Stop worrying, please.

By the way, Welcome To The Board! It's not always like this, okay? There are a whole lot of caring people here and the support is here to be had.

You'll soon find out that I'm the one with the big mouth. LOL I calls 'em as I sees 'em, but I'm also a very caring person. Please don't be afraid of me. My bark is a lot worse than my bite.

Thanks so much for having the courage to respond.

He must have been from another planet, Bear! You most certainly ARE endearing!! Just ask anybody here!

thanks....

*insecure* and often need to reality check....

sorrel

Thanks for the POST Sept!!!
All I can say to add to this is "AMEN" I totally agree.
You stated the FACTS!
{{{{{{hugs to Sorrel}}}}} no need to be insecure...welcome to PC

I am with you on this one. Everyone should have support and understanding.

But we have to keep in mind that we cannot always relate and sometime are scare to put more hurt on the person's shoulders then there is already is. Also not everybody here can deal with confrontation, I know I can't.

One other thing here is that we also sometime forget the "loveable" behind to the point of losing some. We forget that these people also hurt even though they don't say it. Each and everyone of us is hurting or we wouldn't be here.

(((((((((((((((Everyone)))))))))))))))

nightdream

Not saying we need to relate to the problems of others. Not saying we have to respond in any way, either, but like Thumper's mother told him "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything."

What I'm addressing is the negative, hurtfull responses that make people feel unsafe to say anything about their problems; people who are increasingly feeling hurt and fearful.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{NightDream}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

You have spoken volumes. Many thanks.

I thought thoses issues were in the past like in Pat's post about everything starting new
Angie

This was a wonderful post and I agree with you 100%. I have made similar comments. You are right. This is a support forum for support and advice. If one can not offer that then one should not reply to the post in question. We all feel like s&$@ and when we post we need to know that we are not alone and to feel accepted.
Thank you so much for posting this. I appreciate that you care enough to speak for alot of us here. Take care.

this goes out ot "the one with the big mouth"! LOL....you go girl! the thing is tomi....you always say what needs to be said when it needs to be said!

also, since it IS a support site, when on the receiving end of a post, try and take it as a support post FIRST... there might be something in it that actually helps.

As my T so aptly shared; no one is better than another, just on different levels. A 6th grader isn't "better" than a 1st grader...

JMO, I know you have. Maybe if enough of us say so, some of the less supportive people will listen, eh?

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What can I say but "DAMN! I'm good!" LOL

(((((((((((Tomi))))))))))

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As my T so aptly shared; no one is better than another, just on different levels. A 6th grader isn't "better" than a 1st grader...

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EXACTLY!!

I must say that I really like this place.....I like how it is set up, how it is run and the folks here are in most cases really great at supporting each other.......

I do agree with "if you don't have something good to say, then don't say anything". As this is a support forum, not a place to insult or hurt anyone....

I pretty much shy away from the "heavy" issues or topics that may relate to me, such as panic attacks, etc. I've discovered that when I read posts on panic attacks I get all light headed, and I guess I fear they will return.. I know they can't return by reading a post, but it is protection for me to lay low.....I pretty much stick with the light hearted posts and can add comments to those...

I am not one of the "supportive" folks here, as I am not sure what to say that could be helpful to those in need. I guess I believe that if I am struggling, I have no right to give out advice.... In other words, if I can't drive a car, then why in the world would I give advice to someone on driving a car.....

Anyway, "giant, thumbs up" to Psych Central.

Frankly, I am disappointed and dismayed that this thread was necessary. Not that I feel I'm perfect nor that I've never made an unhelpful comment, but I can't understand all this hubub at all.

We have a wonderful group of people here. Why we are wasting energy getting bogged down in all this nonsense is beyond me. Sorry for the rant. However, this in-fighting is getting on my last nerve, as the saying goes. I'm not taking sides or criticizing anybody. I'm saying let's all just kiss and make up and get back to what this place is all about: caring, non-judgemental support.

Hi, Rebound! It's good to see you posting again. I'm sorry you came back to less than pleasant posting. I just couldn't stand it anymore; all the PMs I get from people that are afraid to talk about their problems. It's not just their perspective. I've seen the responses. I try to post something really positive and motivating every day but hardly get any responses to it. Sometimes the pot just needs stirring because everything has settled to the bottom, if you know what I mean.

In the meantime, just ignore the unpleasantries, ok?

Thanks for the post! When I come here I feel like my problems are so much more insignificant than many others. I read some of the posts and think to myself: Wow this person is struggling. I have read many posts where others have been rude or disencouraging to others. This hurts me. I think what if that was me they were talking to. I wouldnt want to post anymore!!!
You are wonderful for this post!

Thanks, Mel. Sometimes I just can't keep my mouth shut, ya know?

I'm sorry you feel that way mel. I confess I have felt the same way quite frequently, however, I also believe this worry is unfounded, at least for the most part. I don't think anyone here believes your or my or anyone elses problems are insignificant. Granted it makes it harder to open up if you feel that way, I know it does for me. But if you try, you will see that we all care. I know it is hard not to feel as though people are reading your post and thinking, "Big deal!" But that is your illness talking, not the person reading your post. I almost always include a disclaimer in my posts stating that I am not intending to compare myself to others' situations but I believe that is largely unnecessary and just my own insecurity at talking about myself at work. Please try not to worry so much about what people might say. If you post what's on your mind I think you will see we will try our best to help.

I can't fault anyone for expressing an opinion so when I see a post that doesn't seem helpful to me, I just skip it and go to the next message. This may not work for everyone, it's just a suggestion. As always, this is just my opinion.