[jbug]

I went to the doctor today because I wasn't sure if I had a sinus infection or the flu and wanted to get it checked out. As usual they weighed me and I weighed 218. 2lbs below my goal weight. My surgeon in Little Rock told me he wanted me between 220-210 to do my next surgeries. So next week when I go in for therapy I will weigh again and see if it is the same and if so call the doctor and tell him to schedule the surgery.

The thing is though I am scared. Not scared of the scared of the surgery itself I'm scared of being thin. I have never been thin my whole life and don't know how to "be thin". I emailed my T my concerned and told her what the weight was and all that and said I know it's something we will have to work on but I know all of you could give me some good advice.

Jan

[AAAAA]

I think what you're feeling right now is very common. I've been very heavy and very thin, to be honest my weight didn't affect anything other than my health. We tend to put a lot of stock in when I'm thin I'll be... happy, more outgoing, more attractive, fill in the blank.

You've worked hard and reached many milestones. The best you can do is take a breath and realize you'll get through this one as well. Good luck to you!

[bebop]

buggie what is YOUR goal weight? you don't have to tell me but want you to think before you get the tummy tuck. I would get down to the weight YOU want before getting it. suppose you lose more weight and likely you will then you would have to go back and do it all over again. how tall are you? unless you are very tall then I think the goal you dr has set for you is a little on the high side. just my thoughts hon. I want the best for you. I know you have been working very very hard for this! good luck on this but please think before you do it.

[Pomegranate]

Well good for you, jbug!!!! I hope you are feeling very proud of yourself for all your hard work. I think like so many things in life, getting used to yourself being thin will be a process. And that it is perfectly normal to be anxious about it. But I think you will be surprised at how much does NOT change. YOU will still be you. Think of you being skinny like getting some new clothes you really love. At first it's a big deal and every time you wear them you feel great. But after a while they are just your clothes, and you are still you. And that's good.

[possum220]

Hiya Jbug

Like pomegranate said you will still be you. You still are you now.

You have lost a tremendous amount and you are possibly already feeling quite different in your own body. Personally, I would take things from now at a rate that you feel comfortable in your head with. Discuss as much as you need to with your T. Your mind needs to be in sync with things too. Its not so much about our bodies but what is the driving force in our thoughts and emotions.

Take Care

[VickiesPath]

Hi Jbug,

Possum's got it right. I had gastric bypass surgery in 2005. I didn't have a huge amount of weight to lose but had spent my entire adult life yoyo'ing and was on the verge of diabetes and said, "That's it. No more." My co-morbidities qualified me.

When I had lost the weight down to where I was comfortable and felt good, I would go into clothing stores and stand in the section where the clothes were my size. I would look around and my head would say, "I can't shop here. These clothes won't fit me." It took a very long time before my head caught up with my actual size.

Slow things down until your head adjusts to reality. Take your time to become comfortable with you and when your head and heart says to you that it's time to call that doctor, then call him. I know that the next surgeries will take a huge number off that scale. But perhaps you need to be ready for that. Up until now, you've seen them drop off more slowly. This is more surgery you're talking about. You need to be ready for that.
If you are ready now, go for it! But remember, you are in charge.

[ECHOES]

Congratulations on your successfully reaching your goal, jbug!!

What comes to mind for you when you begin to feel fearful of weigh less, being thin?

[jbug]

I guess my fat has been a barrier as a way of keeping people away from me. I never had people tell me they were proud of me until now. Now that I am losing all this weight my family and friends are telling me how proud they are of me and I don't know how to handle it.

Jan

[ECHOES]

I guess my fat has been a barrier as a way of keeping people away from me.

I totally absolutely get this.
New things feel unfamiliar, but remember that everything familiar began as something unfamiliar

[lorna]

Just a thought,
A goal weight is a good thing, cause you will definately be healthier in the long run. Its hard to image yourself differently. I have had rollercoaster weight loss and gain and still don't picture myself. Its the whole self image thing and being comfortable in your own skin.

[possum220]

'I guess my fat has been a barrier as a way of keeping people away from me. I never had people tell me they were proud of me until now. Now that I am losing all this weight my family and friends are telling me how proud they are of me and I don't know how to handle it.'

That's why you need to keep talking to your T. Try to get you head around it. You are still you inside. That hasn't changed. You have done a heap of work on the outside, time for the inside to catch up. I know that you would know to say thank you to the people who are complimenting you.

When I lost a lot of weight I saw peoples reactions to me change. Sometimes it made me happy. Sometimes it made me really angry, guys in particular, they would look at me differently. I would think to myself that I am still the same person I was back then.

For the guys I suggest you arm yourself with a mental cattle prod. - lols

Lots of talking now Jbug. Do things when you are ready.

[Pomegranate]

Originally Posted by jbug

I guess my fat has been a barrier as a way of keeping people away from me. I never had people tell me they were proud of me until now. Now that I am losing all this weight my family and friends are telling me how proud they are of me and I don't know how to handle it.

Jan

Just give people your pretty smile and say "Thank you!" You've earned the praise by trying to get yourself healthier. Bask in the glow of the compliments or, if you are like me, and the attention makes you uncomfortable, after the smile and thanks, change the subject over to them real quick by asking a question about how they are doing.