Bickering, snipping, snide remarks, etc...

I must say in all reality, No & Yes.

The No is that I have several posts where I have received so many suggestions, helpful ways of thinking, support in explaining what I have been going through, & ideas in how to cope with it all....so many wonderful people I really appreciate.....and I have read many other posts by others that have followed the same path.

Yes, I have noticed bickering & other annoying things going on..but I have also noticed that these situations involve BOTH sides continuing their actions. I experienced a similar situation when I first joined PC when my response wasn't acceptable......at that time, I totally backed away from that situation without saying another word...I kept it that way so as not to continue the situation....no explainations, no sorrys (because I meant what I had said), but I dropped it completely & refused to get sucked up into the crys for sympathy or the need to defend myself when I realized I was involved. At times the concept "silence is golden" is the best way to put things back into the balance we need here at PC.

I am sorry that I never see things as black or white....in this environment there are many experiences going on at the same time...both good & bad...thus not a yes or no answer.

Debbie

I guess my timing just stinks, as is usually the case... I've never seen what this forum used to be like, but I'd like it to go back to the way you all say it was once like. No one has attacked me in any of my postings, but I've heard of it occuring. I'm going to throw a whopper of an old quote out there, which seems appropriate, considering this thread... "Why can't we all just get along?"... Rodney King, after the L.A. Riots.

hi Ryan,

I agree with eskie yes and no. Conflict is built into this site and the people with problems it attracts. Getting along is not just that simple unless we all become yesmen/women.

Down

It's human nature, dare I say "normal," to have desention in such a large group. Let's not forget that we all have a mental illness of some sort which makes us all more sensitive and tend to take things more personally. We have to allow this in ourselves and in others.

But like I said in another post, we've whipped this dead horse into a grease spot! It's time to move on!

As long as we keep complaining, we keep nerves raw and moods down and we keep reacting. It's time we just LET IT GO, already!

We all have the choice to put those that annoy us on IGNORE and we can choose to not see avatars. The rest is up to each individual to NOT react. It's not difficult, people! It just takes a little tiny bit of effort. We can't expect others to protect us from ourselves every time we turn around.

PLEASE! ENOUGH!

PS If you're not part of the solution, then you're part of the problem.

i finally figured out the ignore aspect of the forums. i am not the sharpest tool in the shed when it comes to computers, but i did get that down pat...pat

My hope here is able to disagee and be disagreed with yet learn how to work through it even if it is to agree to disagree.
lrks

Folks, I know some people long for the 'old days,' but the old days were never as rosy as our memories would have us believe. I have email boxes full of complaints spanning all 4 years we've been running the community (including against both members and moderators who're no longer active). Whenever you have a group of more than a dozen or two people online, you will never get agreement and mature discussion 100% of the time. Who'd want that anyways?

As communities grow, as ours has, it has also taken up a lot more people's time in trying to keep it running smoothly (including mine). It is no easy task dealing with all of the community issues that arise everyday, but we're doing the best we can.

The challenge is to not spend your time here focusing on the negative behaviors and reinforcing the people who engage in them. Why bother, your time is more valuable than that! Spend it, instead, engaging in support and discussion with fellow members who's company you enjoy. Save your energy for positive efforts, not expend them on negative ones.

DocJohn

thanx doc john!!!!!! There are many conflicts that can happen with ppl and I think you all who take care of this site do a wonderful job!!!!!!
lrks

Doc, that is one of the main reasons why I did come back.. No matter how much bickern we all did, I still felt safe enough to come back "HOME" to your site..

I know that sounds odd, but I know I am safe here to walk amoungts all of the new and old members and still feel I can talk about my isuuses and get the much needed adivce I so greatly need.

Thanks Doc John,

I too feel that it is more important to spend our time on the positive aspects of this forum. We have so many diverse people & the problems that each of us bring with along with us. It provides us the opportunity to learn from others experiences & bring our own experiences that can possible give insite to others. That is where the focus needs to be.

If we look at this forum, the people here bring more diverse issues than almost any other forum. We are really lucky because there is so much going on here that we can learn how to communicate with others that have similar & different problems than our own.

I think it is important to focus on the fact that this environment gives us the opportunity to learn how to get along in many different situations, thus enabling us to grow to a new level that is beyond what most people ever experience in their lives.

Debbie

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Folks, I know some people long for the 'old days,' but the old days were never as rosy as our memories would have us believe. I have email boxes full of complaints spanning all 4 years we've been running the community (including against both members and moderators who're no longer active). Whenever you have a group of more than a dozen or two people online, you will never get agreement and mature discussion 100% of the time. Who'd want that anyways?

As communities grow, as ours has, it has also taken up a lot more people's time in trying to keep it running smoothly (including mine). It is no easy task dealing with all of the community issues that arise everyday, but we're doing the best we can.

The challenge is to not spend your time here focusing on the negative behaviors and reinforcing the people who engage in them. Why bother, your time is more valuable than that! Spend it, instead, engaging in support and discussion with fellow members who's company you enjoy. Save your energy for positive efforts, not expend them on negative ones.

DocJohn

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Um, sound familiar? On May 9, I wrote:
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
We have a wonderful group of people here. Why we are wasting energy getting bogged down in all this nonsense is beyond me. Sorry for the rant. However, this in-fighting is getting on my last nerve, as the saying goes. I'm not taking sides or criticizing anybody. I'm saying let's all just kiss and make up and get back to what this place is all about: caring, non-judgemental support.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

My point? We (the royal "we", the all-inclusive, world+dog "we") are still at it and I just don't get it.

Perhaps this is a less than helpful post. If so, I apologize. I'm done with this.

Sorry Ryan.

So a man goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. He hasn’t been feeling well and wants to find out if he’s ill. After the checkup the doctor comes out with the results of the examination.

"I’m afraid I have some bad news. You’re dying and you don’t have much time," the doctor says.

"Oh no, that’s terrible. How long have I got?" the man asks.

"Ten," says the doctor.

"Ten? Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!" he asks desperately.

"Nine. . ."

A termite walks into a bar and says, “So, is the bar tender here?”

hahahahahahaha

Q: What’s the difference between dogs and foxes?
A: About four beers.

... it worked once...

A man sees a snail on his doorstep, picks it up, and heaves it over his house.

Two years pass, and the guy sees the snail back at his door. It looks up and says, “What the heck did you do that for?”

Bookkeeper: A person who doesn't return books on time.

Commentator: An everyday potato.

Hippie: What holds up your leggie.

Polygon: A deceased parrot.

So a man takes his Rottweiler to the veterinarian and says, “My dog is going cross-eyed. Is there anything you can do to help him?”

“Well,” replies the vet, “let’s have a look at him.” So he picks up the dog and checks its eyes.

After a quick exam, the vet turns to the owner and says, “I’m afraid I’m going to have to put him down.”

“Why? Just because he’s cross-eyed?”

“No,” says the vet. “It’s just that he’s really heavy.”

Q: How many animals can you fit into a pair of pantyhose?

A: Ten little piggies, two calves, one ***, millions of hares, and a bea(ahem... edited).

Q. What animal sees just as well from one end as the other?

A. A blind one.

Q. What do you call two bars of soap?

A. A pair of slippers.