Members leaving.

I have been here a while now and yes I have seen people come and go. Some grow and are ready to move on and that is nice to see. That they got something from PC and grew their own wings. That makes my heart glow to know that we helped them in some small way and know that they will always carry a piece of us with them as they move on with their journey in life.

It hurts though when you see a member go and you know that they are not ready to leave. That they have burnt the bridge that was needed to help them in life. I'm one of those that will always need the bridge, I'll always need support so I'll never leave PC, it's too important to me. For my emotional health I need this place and I need to be needed also.

My heart aches for all those members that weren't ready to leave but did any way.

Thank you for listening.

u helped me a whole lot pegs when i was struggling with my diagnosis of DID
THANK YOU!!!! i will never forget you

Leaving members have started to trigger me. I find it easier for myself if I just ignore the behaviour.

Members leave under their own guise and reasons. Sometimes the reasoning is of rational or irrational thoughts What i know is that Muffy didn't burn the bridge it was ignited along time ago it just took this long to collapse underneath her. We come and we go never forgetting why we showed up here one day but never forgetting the reasons why we decided to leave. Some people are pushed and some are embraced . Some people are understood and some people are just misunderstood.
D

I am sorry to read that members have left when they're not ready This is what triggers, when there is an underlying 'someting'. Just my opinion . Ophelia

Least said soonest mended....

well thats greatpeg .i hope i can help you and you can help me .im new to this whole thing im nervous and not quite what sure what to say or where to begin yet

All~
Our friends who left need not be forgotten. They keep all of you in their hearts every day ... please know that! They spent so much time with you and they cared deeply and loved you guys so much. Hold that close to your hearts ok? And please keep them close to your hearts too.. as I know they do you.

(Off topic)

Welcome to Psych Central begoun!

I get attached to people and don't like it, when they leave spontaneously.

Yes it is upsetting when any member leaves especially when we have known them a long time.

I'd like to think that the ones that leave run off happily into the sunset, singing as they go but that isn't realistic.

It is even more upsetting when you know the member may have made an unwise decision or has left because they felt they had to. When infact that might not have been the case.

In my opinion, if you are triggered and thinking of leaving, wait, give it time, don't close your account.

Or perhaps take a break and come back when and if you're ready to.

The multiple "I'm leaving" disappearances and "I'm back" reappearances are
confusing to me.

I don't know about PC, but on a few other sites, I've seen weekly goodbye posts
by the same members. It hurts to be happy to see them back...only to see them
leave again and again. I generally stay away from "I'm leaving" posts, because
I've had to say goodbye to many people in my life... it's triggering and painful.

Hope they're doing well and I hope they come back when and if they're ready to.

'I'm leaving' posts were banned here a while ago, which I totally agree with as it would upset so many members. See link.

Sorry, but no more "I'm leaving" posts

Wait... Muffy's gone? What happened? Is she ok? This makes no sense, I know I haven't been on much lately but how could I miss this?

Hi folks,

This is the reason we don't allow "I'm leaving" posts to be posted to the community, to discourage folks from leaving only to seek attention, and then either "change their mind" or come back a few days or weeks later under a different username.

When a member leaves of their own choosing, that's their choice and we all should respect their decision whether we agree with it or not. I don't pretend to have any special insight into what's going on in a person's head to make that decision seem like the only choice. We do, however, often try and talk to a member before it gets to that point to see if we can help them clarify the issue that's pushing them to leave.

In some cases, that doesn't change their minds, or help clarify anything. So at the end of the day, some people leave. It's hard. We don't understand. And yet we have to find a way to respect their decision, their choice, and try and move on...

DocJohn

Absolutely, you can post about your grief and loss about losing any member here. Nobody has suggested otherwise... They will be missed.

Yes it is very hard to understand when I knew that some are not ready to leave and there was nothing I could say or do to change their decision. It hurts.




Thank you Doc, appreciated.

I'm not gonna be leaving any time in the near future

I agree

Ah. So. Well, if you're reading, goodbye Muffy, and thank you

(((((((((((((((((((((Pegs))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Honey sometimes people need to go for their own health reasons even if it hurts them? You are, have been and will be loved always, only the people who leave can make the choice for themselves, by trying to change their minds hurts both parties? I know how you feel, it's sad but we all learned so much from them, they will stay in our hearts .... big hugs to you, Kerry xxxxxx

who's to say when someone leaves is the wrong or the right time? people leave for a variety of reasons I would think..... all you can do is bless them and hope they have found a measure of peace or sanity or help in their lives.... afterall, not everyone lives with the same circumstances, same support systems.....and how well does anyone really know anyone here on the world wide web? I've had on-line people scam me and lie to me and now I just am hugely skeptical about most everything. This is a nice site, where people try to be helpful and do seem to care, but I'd leave in an instant if I could find help, support, real flesh and blood people who would be here for me. And I really wouldn't like it that anyone here would judge me for that decision.

That doesn't mean they are all scammers and liars but I can see how it can make you skeptical. You bring up a lot of good points and I agree with you . It's just hard for some members who have become so close to other members and then they leave . Common sense will tell you they will be sadly missed , so I don't blame them for being hurt.
If you have to go and you have made some special friends I'm sure they will keep in contact with one another other than through PC.

As I said before, I have been here a long time and I get to know people very well. One particular longtime member that recently left felt that she had no choice but to leave. I am in contact with that person and she has been crying nonstop over it. I knew it was the wrong decision that she had made and my judgement on this has been correct.

I also don't believe that trying to change someones mind is a bad thing when I knew the person well. If the said member had stayed I'm sure things could have been worked out.