[nightowl2]

My husband was served an order of protection for threating to kill me. My brother called him and told him he was going to be served. Then my brother let him stay at his house. My brother says there is no right or wrong in this situation and he is just helping out his friend but i feel betrayed. Am I overreacting?

[nightowl2]

I am feeling numb, I can't cry, I have to started to hurt myself again. Then I hate myself for it because it proves my husband right. I pushed hime the other night and kept pushing him until he threw the chair at me and said he wanted to strangle me. He knew about the rape when he married me, I was sucideal at the time and he took care of me. But know he just keeps throwing it at me telling me how crazy I was and am and that no one will ever love me. And I can't feel anything, so I cut myself then I feel pain. Then I feel reallly stupid and crazy.

i'd be pretty bummed if my brother took my husband in, after he had done things to me like yours did to you.........xoxo pat

[Shaymus]

I dont think you are overreacting at all. Id be incredibly hurt if someone who was family let my abuser live with them. There is no right or wrong? Thats more crazy than any of us, threatening to kill someone IS wrong. Telling someone they arnt loveable is wrong too.

It sounds like a really bad situation to be in. Hopefully he isnt coming back? It sounds like good self care that you got the order of protection. Wonder what your brothers motive is to help him, that seems awful. So sorry this is all happening to you.

[Parker10]

I am sorry you are going thru such a bad time ! You did the right thing getting a protective order. I cannot imagine a brother who would take in someone who threatened their sister. I hope things work out for you, and that you can stop harming yourself.

[eskielover]

I would be upset too. Afterall, he was the one who served him, so he knows what it is all about. No one should have to put up with what you have been putting up with....not sure why he married you in the first place other than to make you his slave, trapping you into a marriage by telling you that no one else would love you.

I understand the problem of getting pushed & pushing back to give them what they feel is a reason to hurt you...have experienced that too many times.....My psychologist is trying to work on my walking away from things like that, but I am a fighter & not really willing to walk away even though it is probably for my own good. I don't back down either. I initially tried to get a restraining order for mental abuse, only it isn't for that...only for physical abuse which it has turned into at times also.....I am glad you got the protective order for you with the threats. Now that you have taken positive actions for yourself, maybe you will be feeling better about yourself & stop harming yourself....you don't want him to harm you, so don't do it to yourself.

[nightowl2]

Thanks for all the kind words and support. . Last night was difficult for me. Very. But I got through it and am doing better today. I would like to clarify however when I said pushing my husband I ment verbaly I have never pushed, hit or thrown anything in anger. I yell. that s it. I have MS and am weak anyway if I pushed him with my hands it would not have moved him an inch.

[nightowl2]

Sorry, I guess I said to much about my life.

[Mahali]

bump

[nightowl2]

I have been freaking out since I had my huband serve.Was it the right thing to do? Should I divorce him? I am so anxious. I am having trouble with SI again, and he found out h=that would be used against me in court. I am still haaving a hard time beliving my brother took his side. Any advise for me?

dear , i'm sorry that you have so many worries. i wish that i could come and sit with you....i don't have any advice, except to hang in there and we'll all keep you in our thoughts. xoxo pat

[eskielover]

You know that we all do what seems right at the time like serving him with the protection papers. To be honest, even though divorce it a big step & has its own set of stresses, it sounds like it might be your best solution to ending this crap that is happening to you. Only you know what is best for you, & I'm sure that having MS makes you feel like you need someone around to help you care for yourself...however if that isn't happening & you are less safe that you would be with him, then, you might need to make the decision that will be best for your. I know I am not well physically, & there is a need to have someone help me our alot on a daily basis, but I have been at the point where it may not be a good enough reason to stay married either....is just a decision that is very personal...and you need to keep your best interest in mind.

Take care of yourself,
Debbie