[Miss_A]

I CAN'T GO INTO SCHOOL TOMORROW THE LAST DAY OK BUT ANYTHING BUT TOMORROW!!! (panic button)

[mrb020377]

why? is something wrong?

[MacD]

Will the earth collapse if you DON'T go? grace

[LostandLonleySoul]

Do you absolutly HAVE to go. I know that here the last day is optional. So if it is optional then don't go. If you have enough days to where you can miss a day then don't go. If all else fails then go.

[Miss_A]

Aww, but after having 3 wholes weeks away from school. I felt a bit better now I'm back I feel alone more than ever. I might go to school tomorrow looking like a mess and ignore everyone around me listen to my music. But I'm still depressed my T only has 1 hour its not enough for where I'm going. Nothing wrong just everything is not right!

[LostandLonleySoul]

Hon~
you might try writing to your T and telling him/her what you have to say. That might help some.

((((((((((((((((((((MISS A)))))))))))))))))))))))

[jmo531]

Miss A,


There is so much in life that I would rather not do. Run away from. But I cant. I cant because I know that I have responsibilities to tend too and because I can not give in to my fear and let it win.

I know that you are extremely anxious about going to school and I understand that. Your feelings are not wrong. Isnt there some way to turn it in to a positive?

For example, make a list of things you want to accomplish. #1 being able to accomplish going to school. Take it slow and make yourself do it. You will feel so good about yourself, knowing you can overcome your fears and press on forward. Keep your head up, breathe deep and exhale. Repeat as much as needed. Concentrate on you, getting well and getting out of the rut which is so easy for us to fall into. Beleive me, I know. We sometimes have to put our fears in a jar, and face it head on. I wish you well and sending good thoughts your way sweety. Take care and Much love.






Jen

[Miss_A]

Thats the thing I have nothing to say that is positive about life because I dunno?

[LMo]

Can I give you some very honest and direct advice? You are going to lose friends with this kind of attitude. I realize that depression and anxiety are medically recognized illnesses, but being 14 is difficult for MOST girls, not just you. It is in your own best interest to make a vow to yourself to be the most responsible person you can be (and that includes going to school to complete your education, whether you enjoy it or not), FIND the positives in your life because nobody is going to do it for you, and if you need to, then get yourself involved in some activities that make you productive and healthy. Going for "titles" in an online forum for mental illnesses is not going to make you popular or successful, so your efforts are best spent FORCING yourself to do the right thing by getting your act together. If you need therapy, then find a way to get therapy. I hear your angst and want to let you know that I completely understand -- I was miserable at 14 -- but it does get better the older you get. The best way to improve your life is to improve your life.

I don't mean to be unkind or harsh, but I think there is a lot you could be doing that perhaps you haven't fully explored. The responsibility to become happy rests on you. Good luck, Miss A.

[Schatze]

Miss A,

Please go to school tomorrow. If school is open then that is where you should be. I agree with LMo and that 14 is a difficult age for all, LMO said MOST but I believe it to be ALL, girls. I think the fastest way to help rid yourself of depression is to get back into a normal 14 year old girl life. I know that's easier said than done, but you need to try and I bet that you can do it.

You seem like a very nice young lady and we love having you here and we will support you when you are here, but tomorrow you should please try going to school.

[wi_fighter]

Miss A, my daughter went through a period of hating to go to school. She was going through the "everyone hates me, everyone picks on me" phase.

I let her get away with staying home or coming home "sick" a few times, but I finally told her she needs to go to school unless she's truly sick. She has to go to school with these same kids for another 4 years, so she can't keep avoiding it.

You need to go to school and you need to stop overdosing on paracetamol or you're going to need a liver transplant and be on really yucky meds for the rest of your life (if you don't die of liver failure first).

I get the impression that you're blowing everything out of proportion. You start a thread complaining about your life, and then as soon as someone gives some constructive advice, you start to laugh it off and say it's no big deal.

If you were MY daughter, I'd tell her there's no way in Hades that she belongs in a place like this and I'd pull the plug. At 16, maybe, but no way at 14.

[(JD)]

I agree with LMo... being that age has it's own insecurities. We all had to go through them. That's the thing go through these things. Maybe part of your dilemma is that you become so isolated from your peers (other girls your age) that you don't have the comraderie and support from them, as they also are going through the awkward and anxiety-ridden experiences?

What you have fallen into is called catastrophizing. It's a horrible feeling and place to be. I hope you will find the support here to help you climb out.

TC you can do this.

[Miss_A]

Well I didn't go to school today but I am going to school tomorrow. I don't mean to laugh when you give me advice. I do try but somehow I can't do it right. I don't get it, wasn't their an age limmit to this forum?? Yea but I feel like my friends do like me and I'm trying my hardest to be happy, but how can I when I feel like there ignoring me and just don't care. Right now I've rather be burried alive in my own grave!

[eskielover]

Miss_A,

Don't let your feelings control your actions....If "nothing is wrong" then why don't you dwell on that fact rather than everything being "not right"???? At your age, you haven't even begun to experience life & all it has to throw at you. The methods you learn to practice now to handle your problems is what will be with you the rest of your life. It is better to do it right now than to have to undo it later.

Everyone is giving you great positive ways to look at your situation...you are at the point in your life that you can choose the positive way of handling your thinking. What you practice is what becomes your attitude in life..the more positive way of thinking you get used to now is the way you will become....the more negative....well shy would you even choose that???

I've got news for you...whether you want to believe it or not...you say you have friends that like you now but the more you stay negative...the more they will "ignore you" & "won't care"....You are already pointing out the start of that reaction to you & it will only become more like that the longer you stay negative. It is just too much work being around negative people & not many are willing to put that much effort into a relationship...especially at your age when most are into their own lives.

Depression doesn't go away over night or even because you have a T...if you don't work at & practice making positive changes in YOUR OWN thought processes, you will only dig yourself deeper into your own grave & you will be the one buring yourself alive. You are the only one that can determine & ake your life what you want it to be. You have no idea the wonderful things life has to offer you if you are willing to put a positive effort into it.

It is hard getting advice that points out that YOU have to make the effort & there is no magic pill or words that will do it for you...your future is up to you...you need to decide what you really want...you are at the beginning of your development & the process of growing up...don't rush that process either but making the right choices at this point will make a big difference in the rest of your life...I wish I had had wise words provided to me at your age but listening to them is up to you.

This is a great place to get wise advice which has been well provided to you by all who have responded to your post...my hope is that you are open to what everyone has to offer you.

Debbie

[Myzen]

Hi Miss A,

Gosh, what does age matter? It's how we feel that counts. I can still feel my schoolphobia and that was a million years ago.

It's easy to forget how edgy those teen school years can be. When our daughter was around 12/13 she had a few problems with school. We thought about it, scraped some cash together, and pulled her out. We got her into a Steiner school where there are very small classes, lots of social stuff, very easy and chilled.

Everyone criticised us for going the alternative route, and yet our girl ended up with top results,a good degree and we didn't lose our relationship with her along the way.

I think you've got real courage mixing it here with us 'grown ups' and I raise my hat to you!

I hope you stay around for a while. I like your style.

Cheers , Myzen.

PS - I was a teacher for 15 years, which is another reason I know how crap school can be! I've seen it from all angles. I'm not saying that school is always a hard time, but when it is, it is.

[Miss_A]

Wow didn't know that until you said it. I dunno why I'm have a bit of a phobia of school. I still think that my bedroom is the only place to hide away from it all. My head hurts...

[Myzen]

Hi miss A,

Hope you have an easier day today, just 'chilled out' as we say in the UK.

Good luck, Myzen

[Miss_A]

lmao, I'm not American, I from the UK too!

[Myzen]

Hi Miss A,

Sorry, I missed that. By the way, one of the really hard teaching jobs I had was to teach retakes in an inner city college. I had a class of 16yr olds who had flunked English GCSE and were being 'forced' by their parents to take the exams again in college. Heavy duty! I still liked the kids though, that's why I was there.

Gosh, why am I telling you all this?

M.

[Miss_A]

That must be really brave of you having a schoolphobia when you was younger teens and then as a matur adult became a teacher.

I don't know how you do it? But that took courage going back to your fears...I guess. But now your a bit older you are much wiser and stronger then you'll ever be. Why you are telling me this, is a good question. Usally people open up to others if they have trust in one another. I feel really sensiable but also stupid for my age.

I think I'm going to be ok getting through school. I mean if I keep talking then people will start to listen. I can be positive about stuff. Ugh I have GCSE next year... how fun! I think I finally know what I want to be when I'm older!

[Miss_A]

(p.s: Who the earth is Jan Janssen from Wisconsin, because I really dunno?)

[Myzen]

Hi Miss A,

That was a lovely message from you - it made my day!

See you around I hope.

Cheers, Myzen

PS - Jan Janssen ? I don't know either!