when is it ok to hit a woman?

emotional reactivity = stupidity

there is something more powerful than violence . . . it requires using your brain

I smell a troll.... don't feed the troll...

I don't quite know what a troll is, but I don't think I am a troll, anyway . . . ummm, thanks to everyone for their supportive response, I know this is a controversial topic and a little too close to home for some.

I am 4'11" and having been "clocked over the head" by a former 6'2" partner, thrown across the room, and saw stars (which was where I first understood where the 'stars' in cartoons arounds characters' heads came from), I'd say never.

However, I do understand the urge. And, I also understand we make choices. One choice is to walk out the door. I haven't read this whole thread, and I think men and women need to be safe.

Something to consider, EC, is maybe, instead of self-injury, your partner waited until you were asleep (because you might be bigger and stronger) and then clocked you over the head or...well, use your imagination. So, I think really nobody is safe, unless they live with people who have mutually agreed to a safe environment.

Sorry if this is a duplicate of someone else's answer. Or, way later than need be. Just my humble opinion.

Shar

When it comes to violence, if you're reacting to what someone else said or it comes out of the blue, if you strike the first blow, you're breaking the law. It's called assault and it's illegal, whether against a man, woman or child. It is never okay to hit someone because you are angry, frustrated, or feel like the other person deserves it.

If you're being attacked or hit, you have three choices -- hit back with the least amount of force necessary to stop the attack (less of a concern if it's a stranger and you fear for your life), do nothing, or escape and run away.

Unless you're 6, most "hitting" is considered assault. In self-defense, however, it's sometimes a necessity and I encourage anyone who fears for their personal safety to consider taking a self-defense class (people offer them in almost every community for a few bucks).

The subject line of this thread was unnecessarily inflammatory. I hope we can ask such questions in the future with a little more tact and respect for other people's feelings here....

DocJohn

Well said DocJohn

If it wouldn't lead him directly to this site, I'd e-mail your reply to someone who needs to read that.

http://forums.psychcentral.com/image.../Good-Post.gif
http://forums.psychcentral.com/image.../Good-Post.gif does it work this way too?

nope. ok never mind you get the idea.

Yeah, it works, but... what are you doing???? hehehehehe

Sorry!

Um,....now? ((((( John ))))

Thanks for the great post.

em

Shirley,

E-mail it to yourself, then do a cut-and-paste to you-know-who in a new e-mail. Just a (sneaky little) thought

Dolfin

That is what i was thinking dolfin. Great mindws think alike.

They are given special protection because they are not as big and strong as men,and to be "equalized" a woman has to use a gun. OK? that's why they call a gun "the equalizer." Women are allowed to use guns on men who beat them up, cause they cannot protect themselbves, they are not strong and big enough, by nature.
This is rather discouraging that no one taught you this,and that your mom and dad did not tell you "never hit a woman." Since you do not know this, I will tell you this; the prison and jail system will DEFINTELY TELL YOU that you cannot batter or hit women(or anyone else, either,)or you will eventually wind up in prison, or jail, when you keep doing it. OK?
Since men like you do not obviously understand why we do not hit others , including women, we have to reply on the police, laws,and the prison system to keep guys like you, who are ego-centric and can only see how everything affects YOU, from assaulting wives,women,and other people in general. THAT is why, (since you don't seem to understand anything else,) you do not hit women. Also, women are allowed to use guns, to protect themselves, from men who assault them, or hit them, and think it is "ok" to do that. Make myself clear??? Good. Prison and Jail. Very unpleasant violent prison and jail, even for men. --and we women who protect ourselves with doberman pinzers,and guns, when some man assaults and hits us. THAT IS WHY you do not hit women. Got it? Great.
I have tried to argue with men like you, and try to use "empathy": until I realize you just don't understand empathy or antyhing else, unless it directly affects YOU ALONE. Prison and jail affects you, if you hit women. OK? Even in Australia. I knew you would understand.
(Oh, I forgot, "love-life"; women leave men who hit them, too. That also happens. And they don't go back.)Another side effect of hitting women.

EC, i've had time to think about your post and i'm adding to my previous post.

i cannot believe that you didn't intend to provoke when you chose your subject line. i also cannot believe that you haven't seen the forum here about abuse. so, i cannot believe that you weren't aware that there are a lot of women here, who have been abused....that would bring me to the conclusion, that you don't have to be a troll, to start something. i've seen your posts here and i've even replied to them, so i know you've been here a few months. and if you are so blind to the issues that abused women, men and young people bring to this forum, what on earth are you doing here? there have been some fairly nice answers to your stupid question and one post that really hit the bullseye.....this one probably lands in the middle. you need help. BIG TIME HELP...run, don't walk to a T, because you're going to be carted off to become someone's friend in the prison system...pat

I dont think it is necessarily a stupid question or that he was trolling. My sister used to kick my butt on a regular basis growing up, yet i constantly heard "dont hit women". So what was i to do when no adults were around?(i chose locking myself in the bathroom) Growing up i was always very confused that no matter what you wernt supposed to hit women yet i was being attacked by one. I think they should be telling kids "dont hit people"(as most have said here). I think if he had put a more vague title to his thread and added a *trigger* to it, it would be fine.

he isn't trolling. as i said in my post, he is a regular poster here. that's why i said he surely knows about the forum for abuse....i'm sorry that your sister beat you up. we are talking about a grown man, in a "grown up" relationship. apples and oranges.

I wasnt saying they were the same. I was saying i can understand his confusion about when/if it is ever ok. I had similar confusions. Im glad he posted and hope he takes some of the answers to heart and doesnt dismiss them as people attacking him for asking a "stupid" question.

Hey we all have posted something not said in the best words, right? I was more concerned that you feel this way now, cat, about a past situation. Obviously you are stil feeling hurt about it.






<font color="blue">“A woman should have the right to abort a baby just as she has the right to remove any parasitic growth from her body”- Gloria Steinham ...</font> So who cares anyway about us?

i think this thread has some really good discussion and feedback in it. but, due to the subject matter, it's a potentially "heated" thread and i think the time has come to lock it.