Hi!

I'm hard on myself, and I want to stop!

It's SO ironic that I'm actually ruining myself!!!

AAAAAAHHHH. I can't stop! How do I stop?!?!? :'(

[Rhapsody]

Perhaps you need to review these again:

http://psychcentral.com/lib/2009/15-...e-distortions/

[whoswho]

"Unless I accept my faults I will most certainly doubt my virtues." ~Hugh Prather

"The courage to be is the courage to accept oneself, in spite of being unacceptable." ~Paul Tillich

"It's hard to fight an enemy who has outposts in your head." ~Sally Kempton

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Be objective. Be reasonable. Be fair. Do you hold others to the same standards you hold yourself?

Good luck.

[Zelev]

I was planning to post for exactly the same reason. I went to the link [TheByzantine] posted on distortions.

Isn't part of the problem being reasonable, fair and holding others to the same standards as you hold yourself?

The world doesn't use "my standards" of fairness. Getting caught up in thinking that there is some basic set of standards that everyone in the world uses and that I know what those standards are is a distortion which leads to setting myself up for failure and disappointment. Right? So by the same token, my idea of a perfect scenario or way so do something is also a fallacy. Failure (if you want to call it that) is just one way to practice for success. Although I have to admit, sometimes it seems like I get way too much practice!

I really believe that how you feel about yourself also has a lot to do with the company you choose and how you interact with them. Take a look around you. Surround yourself with people who reinforce who you are and make you feel good. Sad to say but some of the most well intentioned people feed off of producing negative energy.

"It's hard to fight an enemy who has outposts in your head." ~Sally Kempton

I like that quote...

Negative chatter that distorts reality is the bane of far to many.

Hey guys, I'm sorry it took me so long to answer!
The B- Lol, I never actually read that..I related to a lot of stuff.. I need a psychotherapist..it wouldn't hurt, lol. Thank you for the link!

whoswho- Awesome quotes!!!! (going to print some of them out to remind myself.. )

Zelev: I always treat everyone else better than myself...hmm, yes, I've also thought about my surroundings in the past. I think I might be better off in a better group where I am accepted for who I am, and not viewed at as other..crud.. :P
Ugh, but what can I do about that?
And lol, I get a little too much practice too! But how long can I hang on to hope? I try to be positive, but I just lose it..it's almost a sickning cycle!

Thanks all!

You are a very important person, opaquemind0. Please never forget that.

Thanks (((((((Byz)))))))...it's tough to convince myself sometimes, but hey..I guess if I weren't important than nobody would have cared about this thread..but you guys do, so thanks from the bottom of my little heart .

[Irine]

ow - i am relatively hard on myself too - well - i will tel you the reason i am - in case its your reason too - just in case

I am being hard on myself in fear that if i don`t i`ll be the opposite! i control myself this way...so that i am clean of guilt - so MAKE SURE i do nothing wrong - i convince myself that i CAN do something wrong any time - and acting shy or withdraw. Like i can stress like crazy over an exam and to think i hardly work when i work hard - and feel lazy and stupid because of it - with a subconscious fear that if i let myself feel good about the work i do and calm - - then i don`t give a **** about anything any more...haha

It has been my motivation - my root thought from late childhood - maybe we all need to discover what motivates our to be hard on ourselves...because in any case if we continue a certain type of behavior of a while long enough to make it second nature or part of our "personality" - then we have a certain benefit form it...must have..bad as it may be...

Are you happy, ladymacabethadmunsen? In my opinion there are better ways to motivate yourself than to bludgeon yourself for failings you know to be untrue.

Maybe you need to review these too:
http://psychcentral.com/lib/2009/15-...e-distortions/

Be well. Love yourself.

[Irine]

Well i am working on that! Thanks for the article