[Miss Laura]

Hey guys,

Just wondering if anyone else feels this?

I feel indestructable and have done so for a wee while now. I feel that if I get knocked down by a car etc I will survive it and walk out of it at the other side without being injured.

I keep telling my GP and my Counsellor but no-one really answers my question. "Why do I feel like this" or "Can I stop feeling like this" or "Is this normal"

My friends all think I am displaying bery dangerous behaviour but I don't think I am to an extent

What's going on?????

[Stranger2]

Are you bipolar by chance.. If so you may be on a manic high..I would talk to a pdoc about it..GP's just aren't educated in mental health issues..

[Miss Laura]

Hey Stranger2,

No I am not Bipolar- my GP had suggested I COULD be hypo-manic but that was throwen out the window as I do not have all the symptoms. She says I am just severely depressed which I don't think I am.... She is trying to figure it out but no idea though at the moment as I am showen signs of different disorders either I am hyper or I am low and there is no middle to it. My hyper stage is where I am bouncing off of things, talking to myself, speed talking, unfocused and pacing. My low stages are wanting to commit suicide, self hatred, feeling indestructable, self harming etc etc.

I feel like I am a lost cause at the moment as no one know's what's wrong with me at all!!! FRUSTRATING

[serafim_etal]

This actually sounds very much like bipolar II hypo-mania to me! Especially your second post. Please remember you don't have to have ALL of the symptoms at one time, or ever, really. http://psychcentral.com/disorders/sx21.htm My best suggestion is to see a Psychiatrist about this, because a GP is not best suited to diagnose or treat this disorder. Also, if the GP thinks you are severely depressed and you are actually bipolar, medications used to treat depression alone can actually CAUSE a manic episode.

[Miss Laura]

Hey Serafim etal,

Wow!!! Ok that's what my flat mate thinks I am too. We both have studied mental health but not to this extent and are both still figuring it all out.

I am seeing a Psychiatrist soon well getting an app in next couple of weeks. 1st time I have seen a Psychiatrist

I am now intrigued

If you think you are going to walk away from a bounce with a car, I would suggest some reality orientation might prove useful.

[Miss Laura]

I don't think I would ever do walked in front of card etc. Its just my "superhero" powers. I know thats nuts but thats the way it feels

[ruffy]

MissLaura...Im so glad youre going to see a p-doc. Please keep us posted. Before I was diagnosed as bipolar, I experienced extreme mania because of one of the antidepressants I was put on, so bad I was afraid I would hurt one of my patients and was afraid to go to work. I looked up the drug and found that is was indeed the cause of what I thought was demon posession. Tee Hee . I can laugh now but it scared the heck out of me back then. Make sure you look up any and all potential drugs you may be taking. The little slips they give you at the pharmacy mean very little, its only half of the picture, and the Dr's bless their hearts, they dont know!! Have your mate keep an eye on you. This helps alot as we often dont see the changes in ourselves right away. Know what is you and what is caused by the drugs. Its important you know the difference.

[Miss Laura]

Ruffy,

I have felt indestructable since before I started taking anti-depressants. I have felt like this for years but its more prominent now. Especially when I am so low or so high!! Its frustrating though as I don't know sometimes if I am real or not

[Typo]

Miss Laura

I'm bipolar II and this sounds exactly like the mainia I experince, I feel high and like nothing can stop me and sometimes act out although I'm usually able to put myelf back in order by reminding mysefl that I am NOT indestructible no matter how much I may feel so.

Please keep bringing this up with your gp, consuler and pdoc, and stay safe.

Best Wishes
Typo

[Miss Laura]

There was the theory that I was bipolar but that was ruled out by my gp as I was shown some signs but not the all the main ones.

I just want a reason for my thoughts/feelings/moods/attitude.

Thanks Typo!!

[Hippie]

Miss Laura,
I'm not a therapist but this does sound bipolar to me. When you made the therapy appointment did you tell the therapist what you are experiencing? This might get you an appt. sooner.

[Miss Laura]

No my GP made the appointment, my GP had said I could be bipolar. My flatmate thinks I am bipolar as do a few of my friends.

The only thing I am scared of is the label..... in my line of work its hard to be "normal" as it is!!

What does your psychiatrist say?

[Miss Laura]

Haven't seen a psychiatrist waiting on my appointment.

Back at my GP's tomorrow for my is she or isn't she gonna sign me back to work. I so hope she does as I am soooo bored.

Feel like I am wasting my days as I am unfocused and impatient and indecisive. I need something that is gonna hold my attention

[Hippie]

Miss Laura,
I don't like labels either but the proper diagnosis, even if we don't want to hear it, is the most important step toward feeling better.
Hoping you will let your doctor know how you're feeling with the "indestructable" issue. Going back to work may not be the best thing until after you see a therapist even though you feel bored.
Let us know how you are doing.

[Miss Laura]

Hey Hippie,

I know I need to know what's wrong with me... But then I really don't want a label(I am being self concious I know)

My GP and Counsellor both know about my feelings of indestructability.

I am getting to go back in 2 weeks time woohoo!!! Dying for normality in my life and going back to work will help with that. I have to prepare myself for the next 2 weeks so thats fine. My manager who I have called today and then she called me back said she has spoken to HR and they all decided I need to see my work's occupational therapist. Unsure why though???

[Perna]

I have felt like that and did things that were stupid/dangerous (walk through alleys at night, alone; take rides from strange men on motorcycles, etc.). I don't think you necessarily have an illness, could just be a lack of experience with reality? I don't think/feel like that anymore but have had a lot of therapy and am nearly 60 (so have more experience with Life than I did at 20-30 when I felt that way :-)

[Miss Laura]

Ye I walk through town at 10pm, I walk home late at night too.

I don't know what's going on with me. But I think I need to know NOW what's going on with me etc. No one seems to know either way!!

[la doctora]

Miss Laura,
In one post you say you need to know now what is wrong with you. But in another post you say you don't like labels. I think you have to realize that sometimes labels are just the only way we have of describing something. I don't think that your GP understood that you don't have to have all the symptoms, or even the main symptomes, to have bipolar. The important part is the treatment that you need to help yourself through your highs and lows. I hope you get to talk to a pdoc soon! Pleae be careful. You are destructible so don't do anything that could hurt yourself.

[Miss Laura]

Hey La Doctora,

I know, I am indecisive about what I want to know. I feel I need t know whats wrong with me but at the same time I really don't want to know. I know in order for me to get better I need to know what it is that is exactly wrong with etc etc..

I am feeling REALLY GOOD and feel so "high" but GP says its cause my med was upped. I will get a low soon enough and it could be a hard one to deal with.

I have no idea when I am seeing the psychiatrist still waiting on appointment

[ruffy]

MissLaura...It does sound similar to mania or maybe even delusions. Ive experienced both symptoms with my bipolar disorder, before I was diagnosed and put on meds. Hope your appt. with the p-doc goes well and that he is able to tell you whats truly going on. You are in my prayers and I hope you stay safe in the meantime. Hugs...

[Miss Laura]

Hey Ruffy,

I will be safe don't worry. I am feeling really good at the moment a bit sad but not as low as I can be. I will be fine I think!!!

Good luck in working through this, Miss Laura.