Holding on...

I have emotional troubles. But I am not talking about my depression or anger or anything specific. I am talking about the strength and intensity. I have to keep a tight rein on my emotions otherwise every reaction I have is way out of proportion. (Although in retrospect Only my negitive emotions act this way). Having done this for such a long period of time has made these control responses automatic. Now I know that this can't be healthy but the other option is unacceptable. Every time something little goes wrong( a mistake a work perhaps) I immediately feel immense depression and worthlessness that may take me hours to get a handle on. If I didn't control these thoughts and emotions I Would Be Unable To Function. Something that frightens me more though is my anger. Something small can prick me in just the right way that an upwelling of what can only be called rage explodes in me. The intensity thankfully never lasts as long as depressing feelings or thoughts. So it comes down to that I either feel nothing or have an overzealous reaction. I have let loose before and ended up in a hospital setting twice withen 3 months of each other. Not suicide attempts but thoughts and plans of. So what do I do. I am finding harder and harder to hold on and I have lost it before.

What does your therapist say?

Hugs ((((((((((( lonewanderer ))))))))))

Bottling up the anger can lead to depression. Like putting a cork in a fizzy bottle eventually the cork comes out and... whoosh!

So holding it all in like that makes the anger have more power over you, makes that anger feel more scary. So what to do about it?

Try to figure out what your anger is really about and give yourself some time to be angry in a safe way. Talk it through with your therapist. Release that anger by going for walks, write about it, punch a pillow, throw a wet cloth around. You are allowed to have emotions and don't need to hold it all in.

Take care.

lonewander - I'm with pegasus - if you bottle up the anger, it can lead to depression or explosion! I'm constantly battling that right now. Anger is actually not an unhealthy reaction to a lot of situations - it's what you do with the anger that causes problems...I've never been allowed to be angry, so I turn it back on myself and it kind of sounds like you do to. Talk to the therapist about it, see if you can find out what triggers the anger and learn new ways (from the therapist) to deal with that anger. Good luck! You have some support here - even if you are angry.

I agree... find someone to talk to you and help you deal with your feelings. Suppressing only works for so long. Find an outlet for the anger that does no harm to yourself or others. You are not alone. You will be okay. Be good to yourself.

You could even explode here in a post and we hear ya...We are hear for you!

How are you doing, lonewanderer?

I can relate immensely to you.I struggle within my whole life to find middle ground,that's what my previous therapist says.I'm either completely numb and feel no emotion at all or my emotion are to an extreme,overpowering and just out of control.I try to think of "mindfullness".Try to evaluate your emotions and think to yourself,now how do I train my mind to think middleground on this situation?Practice it,just give it a try.I wish you the best of luck and know you are not alone my friend.

lonewanderer: Last Activity: 03-15-2010 12:32 AM