[Radien]

I am sure many people know what i am talking about. That feeling you get in the pit of your stomach. You feel sick but not ill, you can't concentrate you feel like something horrible is going to happen and like you are helpless. I feel that way right now and i don't now how to get out of it. Watching those you care for in pain, seeing loved ones fight, wishing you could take the pain from everyone else, willing to live with all of it if it meant they would never have to. I want nothing more than to be able to take the pain from those i care for. I feel like a failure when my sister says she wishes she "could be beautiful for just one day" when i know no matter how many times I tell her she is truly beautiful she will not believe me. I want nothing more then for her to be ok. I feel horrible when my 'little brother' is sick and in pain and i can't even give him a hug or hold his hand. When i see him and my friend going through things and see both of them hurt by it and wishing for some sort of miracle to fix it all. I wish i could make others realize that they are not ugly like they might think they are and that they can make it friends. I want my parents to be able to be truly happy and not have to worry over things, i wish that my father didn't blame himself for everything, how can he expect himself to have prevented himself from getting cancer. ...........I want to be able to do more than then i can or are even possible, and i guess that may be one of my downfalls. Thank You for listening, i guess expressing your feeling can make you feel a bit better

[shaggy dog]

Hi Radien, your posts was one of the most beautiful, bittersweet, and compassionate I've read. I wish I could take upon myself the depression of my son and my wife. I wish I could have alleviated my mothers pain before she passed away. I would gladly take more pain upon myself if it meant others could be happier. Too bad there are no such things as pain eaters. If there were I guess we would both apply for the position. I'm so sorry those around you are suffering but they are lucky to have you in their life. shaggy

[bluegirl...?]

(((( Radien ))))

you may be my newly made friend, but im so sorry that this is happening to you i know the same feeling (and have been feeling it almost nonstop for a few nights now) and i would never want anyone else to have it.

i cannot exactly help you with all those, but i offer my sympathys and hugs and love

i know that everything may be not good right now, but in time everything will eventually work out (maybe not always for the best). whatever happens, i hope that you can walk away stronger and happier. you deserve happiness (along with your suffering family and friends)

-bluegirl

Radien, your post reminded me of the teaching of the Serenity Prayer:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

To change the things you can is a noble calling.

Good luck.

[Radien]

shaggy dog it is good to know someone else would be in line with me applying to that job. Thank You

Also Thank You babyblue your a good friend.

Byz, oh how i need to memorize that prayer and try and follow it.

My anxiety is kicking into over drive lately and everything starts pilling up. It just seems hard to breathe and concentrate which are important things to be able to do. The only way i have been able to control my breathing in public places without anyone seeing is with pain, and we were told in school today that we had Friday off because are principal's mom passed away last night . Everything seems to all hit at the same time

The entire Serenity Prayer---most do not know but the first three lines; I used to read the whole thing when I chaired a meeting.

It is important to know the entire prayer.
"Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, and Not as I would have it;
(((Radien)))--..Trusting that He will make all things right, if I surrender to His Will..."

This is acceptance of what is. Acceptance is the path to inner Peace.

I wish for you all good things, for you, your sister, and your family---theo

Acceptance is also a part of mindfulness training. If we reject certain feelings or losses over which we have no control, we easily are led into illusion, confusion, reaction and even alcohol and drug addiction. If we learn to accept feelings and events over which we have no control, then we can begin more accurately to determine what we do have control over. This usually involves our own thoughts and actions. Staying quiet and observant enough to sort out what is manageable and what is unmanageable is fundamental to learning to make responsible choices for ourselves.

[Radien]

I think that acceptance has been one of my main problems since i was little and i am not sure how to help myself with it. I refused to accept certain feelings and situations as a child and i know that is what effects me now so badly. I just do not even know how to change...... i wish so much that i did

[Onward2wards]

(((( Radien ))))

It is touching to see your empathy and compassion. It would be a better world if there was more of this.

I very much feel the same as the posters here ... to be able to effectively alleviate anothers' pain is a wonderful thing, and excruciating when we cannot. If we did not care, we would not hurt, but then, we would also be something less than fully human.

I'd also like to point out that the tendency to want to "fix" things is in and of itself a very healthy and necessary drive. We just have to remember - myself included! - that our individual power is not always as great as we would prefer.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/print/1752
http://www.psychologytoday.com/print/940
http://www.psychologytoday.com/print/4839
http://www.psychologytoday.com/print/4948

[lxegirl]

i know EXACTLY what you mean. Cept i feel literally sick. like puking, dizzy, like i'm about to drop sick. It sucks, i know. Its good we have this website to just vent how we're feeling and everything. Just think, it could be worse. keep trying at everything!!!! YOU CAN DO IT.

For me, a key to acceptance is forgiveness. Often self-forgiveness is the most important step to recovery and the hardest one to take.

http://www.commonsensepsychology.com/forgiveness.php
http://www.webmd.com/balance/feature...rgive-yourself

Be well.