[Radien]

I don't even know what to do anymore. I feel like i don't have a right to ask for help or burden others with my problems. I don't even feel like i should be giving others advice when I can't help myself. I am always sick and can't figure out if it is tied to my problems or not. I have been sick for 2 weeks straight with some head cold and can't stay home to get better any longer because my absent days are almost spent. I will not ask my parents for a therapist after the problems that brought up last time. I can feel myself becoming less social. It doesn't even feel like my best friends are here for me anymore. I was absent today and the response my BEST friend emailed me was "your not here today. that doesn't surprise me" that was it not a how are you or anything. I feel lost over the fact that i know there is no where to ask for help. If i talk to my dad he blames himself, they won't let me see a therapist, and my guidance counselor is no help at all. My mom is great to talk to but i don't want to burden her with everything. I see my sister and it tears me up inside to see her not happy with the way she looks and worried about what others think of her. I feel like a horrible person so often. I want to do horrible things; cut, drugs, alcohol and the only reason i don't is because i worry if my sister sees me doing it she will try it too and she is not as careful as me with things. I feel like that is putting pressure on her the fact that if she slips up with something it gives me the right to do whatever i want. I apologize for ranting i just feel like i am losing my mind and there is no whey to stop it. I guess being sick and mentally getting worse takes its toll Sorry to bother everyone.

[desperate&disturbed]

im so so sorry radien
you are not bothering anyone, we care about you!
you deserve to feel better,

[Catherine2]

Radien...gentle hugs if all right

You sound like you are overwhelmed with all the things going on in your life right now...
Is there any other person through the school system that could help you? Here they have psychologists who visit the schools on a rotating basis...sessions are a bit short but they are focused and the students will at least get advice/guidance on what can be done. It is set up through the guidance counselor and that person knows how to talk with the parents.

I'm sorry I don't know what problems there were before re therapy...but it still may be worth it to bring it up.
At the very least, please keep posting and let us know how you are doing, ok?
We Care

You are a worthwhile human being, deserving of peace and happiness in your heart...don't give up.

In Peace

[SophiaG]

You are NOT a burden. It's all for one and one for all on these boards ^_^

If I feel sad, someone helps me. If I feel better I help someone who is sad. It's just the way it works around here and I urge you to please keep posting. We want to help you in any way we can.

Please ask your guidance counselor if there is any way you could see a psychologist at the school and please, know that we care about what you are going through <hug>

Btw the reason why you want to do the drugs/alcohol is because you are in such pain right now. Please get help instead of succumbing to the pain and trying to self-medicate via these means. Drugs/Alcohol/Cutting will only cause MORE problems.

Keep yourself safe and write as much as you need to on these boards.

Keep on posting, Radien. I do not understand why parents refuse to help their children through difficult times, but I guess I do not have to.

Maybe this site will help a little: http://kidshealth.org/teen/

[1flagwriter]

((((RADIEN))))

I'm here if you need to talk!!!

[Radien]

Thank You everyone. I guess i am just ultimately confused and feeling like there is really no hope for me to get help. My school does not have psychologists who come to the school. All we have is a guidance counselor and it is awkward to speak to her about things. I just feel so lost and don't know what to do. I know my parents love me but I am angry they won't let my sister and me see a therapist. I don't even bring up my problems any more because they seem to turn into worse things then they started. I told my mom about my anxiety issues and she asked why i thought i had it and when i explained she was just kinda quite, i guess she didn't know how to respond. I haven't told many of my friend and i don't think they would understand if I did. I suppose by now i just suppose I would be getting better

The New York State Office of Mental Health is here: http://www.omh.state.ny.us/

My thought is for you to contact OMH to explain your circumstances and see what assistance is available to you. Once you have the information you may be able to convince your mother you should be able to take advantage of what is available.

Good luck.