Unable to trust

The inability to trust others when you have been let down over and over and over again throughout your life. This inability has me paralyzed. Cant go over, around, or under this issue of trust and therefore cant move forward with my life. Have been deceived in such big ways that I cant even trust my own discernment to protect myself. Cant even think about trusting a therapist to get help on this issue, sends me into a panic attack. I do believe in a higher power but I also need someone with skin on them. How do I trust again after physical, sexual, and emotional abuse? Any advice would help from those who have learned how to do this after such trauma. Thanks!! .............

Sending you safe hugs right now. How about if I just sit with you a bit as we watch the replies come in?

((((ruffy))))

I'm so sorry that you're having such a tough time right now. I don't have a lot of wisdom to offer - just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you and wishing you well. I'm working on similar issues with my T right now. Good luck to you.

For those of you who are waiting with me for advice, thank you for your support and I did do some research tonight and found that I need to have courage, and to trust in myself. I dont know how to start doing this but at least its a start. Im like a feral cat, afraid of my own shadow, literally.

It certainly is new. having the courage to trust yourself is a good place to start. Take it easy during the learning process. Sounds like you have done some pretty good research so far. So I will sit here a bit with you and see what else others have to say.

"Trust"--rough one. I trust myself enough to join this site and to post my true feelings here. I trust myself to take care of myself (as much as I am able).

I trust that I can understand why certain Meds do not work for me.

I trust that I know me better than anyone else does.

I trust in my bestest friend: The God of my understanding; with me at all times.

I trust that my feelings are REAL...and No one may cross the boundary of telling me"How I should Feel".

I trust that there is, in me, an innate ability to know when someone is trying to harm me, either by words, emotions, or physical, and I trust myself now to walk away from such persons. I no longer doubt that feeling inside of me--I give it full reign. I completely validate those feelings.

I trust my dog.

I trust small children.

I trust what I know to be true about myself, and others.

Nope, I do not trust my pdoc, I do not trust my therapist, I do not trust a great many people...had I listened to myself 4 years ago; I would not be in the predicament I am in.......it taught me a hard lesson:

I Trust Me.---------------------------------theo

Thanks Theo..I guess all my trust is not lost. Thanks for helping me to realize this. Its my moments when Im vunerable to my own mind, ie depressed or manic when I doubt my ability to trust myself, and I usually realize the misfortunes Ive caused myself after the fact. People in this world prey on the weak, and recognize this weakness when they see it. I take full responsibility for all of my actions whether Im ill or not, and guess I would like to know how to protect myself during these times of illness. I am on medication but it can only help so much. Thanks again, you have given me much encouragement.

(((Ruffy)))--To define "weak"--does it mean that you are a loving, caring, hypersensitive, empathic individual?

Or does it mean that you are the opposite of these outward appearances?

I think (JMO), that there are those in this world who define "weak" as the first.

Therefore "easy prey"--and, yes, they use us. They hurt us---they think we are "stupid" and "weak".

I define "weak" as "strong"; to live in a world which is hard, and unkind so often, but to continue to have these attributes throughout. That takes true strength.

It is cruel and insensitive people who assume the unassumable about us.
It takes far more strength to be the good person you are.---------theo

http://www.ehow.com/how_2299231_learn-trust-again.html

When most people say, "I trust you", what they really mean is that they are willing to gamble and risk trusting you. Most people, whether they are gambling money or trust, don't want to gamble an amount that is going to hurt if they lose and so they risk small amounts trying to gain confidence. Fear is what happens when the table minimum gets raised and you have to gamble more than your confidence can cover. Eventually, if your trust is not broken and you continue to practice trusting, you can gain in trust until there is no amount that will cause you pause.

You are worth having your trust kept, and there are many people in the world whom are worth you placing your trust in them. It is unfair to both yourself and all the people whose lives you can enrich to pay for the sins of those untrustworthy people who came before. That said, there are many things in life that are unfair, it is up to you to decide if you will allow this particular unfairness to continue. Good luck!

Just wanted to extend a great big thank you to everyone who offered their insight and encouragement this week regarding my trust issues. I see I have alot of work to do and Im always up for any challenge that will help me overcome a mental illness I refuse to let get the better of me. Lets keep fighting the good fight, and may we never grow weary!!!!

Good for you, ruffy.