what's your challenge?

As i have been saying, i am shifting my focus and persepctive to something more positive and workable. Bad stuff is happening and will continue to happen. i am working to make life better, but i cannot change some things and so i can do one of two things - face it with a brave heart or turn my face away in fear. In both cases the bad things will still be happening, but in one option i have the choice of greater strength and happiness. i will still shake in fear, i will still cry, but i will do so knowing that there is more to life than those and that the bad times will not last forever.

i'm almost grateful (almost) for this most recent bout of medical mayhem. i had drifted from the conscious awareness of inner strength that i had learned young from other medical trials. This has brought my abilities to overcome back fresh into my memory and i am gaining something from it that i hope i never lose sight of again. My pinnacle of inner determination to keep going is a two-fold event in my early teens. Having shattered my pelvis i got up and went looking for my best friend. i was in shock but my love and concern for her safety overrode the pain... that is a valuable lesson. Love can overcome anything. It may not stop bad things from happening, but it can preserve something within us that is more valuable than almost anything. The second stage was when i was lifted on a sheet to be moved and i screamed, cried and offered to do anything... i'd have sold my soul in that moment, without hesitation... the pain was just too much to bear. i remember it as i tell myself that i was able to withstand more than i could have ever imagined and that it did pass... as unending and all-encompassing as it seemed, it did end.

i remember these lessons now as i struggle with recovering from surgery and rebuilding my life on many levels at once.

i have begun to look for new wording in things.... problems are terrible things, insurmountable, dogged things... but challenges are there to be overcome. Challenge has the inherent possibility of winning. i have decided i will try to see my problems as challenges.

i also don't accomplish this or that... i have victories. They may be small... hell, going to pee by myself was a victory! Think about it... think about the extra power and feeling of reward in claiming a victory vs just saying you made it through something!

i know i am going to sound like a crackpot to some... and i know to the very depressed it's all going to sound like i have some kind of extra thing you don't have, can't have or can't do... something that makes my situation so different from yours that OF COURSE i can do it but you can't. NONSENSE. It's a lie, and don't you believe it.

my life is in the crapper kids... seriously. i'm in the frickin' hospital for pete sake, recovering from a difficult surgery - alone. No one to hold my hand or even be there when i came around. i'm dirt poor without any solid path to an income any time soon... and i have a physical disability to boot. So, don't boohoo about how bad it is for you... it's hard all around... so get up and get going. i'm not being harsh, i'd like to see you succeed.

CLAIM YOUR OWN VICTORIES

step one.... make a list of 5 things you are grateful for... anything. Be grateful for marmalade and blue birds.... it doesn't matter what it is. It doesn't have to be giant things we all hope for... i mean, you don't have to "be there" to find things to be grateful for. Do you have anyone who loves you? If not, do you love anyone else? Having someone that you love, regardless of whether they return it is something powerful and dear.

Be grateful you can read this if need be. My cervical vertebrae ligament structure is in trouble... and got pretty distresed about that... but i got busy being grateful for each day that i have full use of my arms and legs. See what i mean?

so get grateful... make gratitude a daily practice. Make the conscious decision to choose gratitude for what you have over bitterness over what you don't.

step two... challenges... start finding your own ways to reword your world. Let's suppose you wanted to describe your life in the best possible way to someone. Let's suppose you want to make the best impression you can from your life, but you still need to remain honest. We all do this when we need to, so make it a habbit. It means being honest, so we aren't denying or minimizing, we are just choosing to not emphasize the negative. That person you need to impress is YOU... our inner selves listens to the way we talk about everything and we then live it. Start giving yourself a better narrative to start from

step three... challenges and dreams - really try living. What are your dreams? What would your life be like if you could remove all the barriers and obstacles? Seriously... never mind the nonsense about owning 10 sportscars... what would your life be like? what would you imagine yourself doing, thinking and feeling each day? If you were able to do anything, what things would you choose? Why? write these things down in as much detail as possible... then start looking for ways to make life be about living.

i know... it sounds preachy and stupid... but it isn't. For one, having a goal-directed life gives people a sense of purpose and meaning and that in itself is fulfilling. It isn't about arriving, it's about the act of trying to get there. People who work toward goals always have something to look at to give themselves a sense of meaning.

if you have goals and dreams.. try making plans to acheive them.... make a tree diagram with the goal at the top... then break it down into subgoals, what has to happen to achieve the larger goal? Then, break those down... keep going until it gets down to ridiculously silly things that can be managed. Like, today, i can research some exhibition opportunities online. It isn't "making it as an artist" but it is a real step i can take TODAY that will contribute to the end goal. It gives a real sense of reward to check off a small task on a list and say that today I did something that will help get me where i want to go

ok... enough babbling.... i should probably rest some. You'd think i was in a hospital or something

take care, cheer yourself on and GET GRATEFUL!!!

muchos smoochos!

My challenge is making sure I don't do something I'll regret later.

that's not a challenge sugar - that's an impossible mission. Life is always going to have regrets... we will inevitably make mistakes, get things wrong, screw up and fall on our faces. That isn't something to avoid because it cannot be avoided... impossible to avoid. It'd be like trying to avoid getting older.

if this is how you perceive your challenge then me thinks perhaps your real challenge is how to learn to be ok with yourself despite the short-comings.

your challenge may indeed be self acceptance

peace

At this moment in my life; my greatest challenge is to remain in the moment, and not think about the "what ifs".

Great thread little*rhino!!!!!------get well soon!---theo

My challenge is to keep trying to get better, despite the disappointing news from my treatment team.

My illness has been labeled treatment resistant.....almost makes a person feel terminal. My challenge is to push past the labels which are just words and prove them wrong.

(((Little*Rhino))) We cant hold your hand or be at your bedside but we carry you in our hearts. We are there in spirit and thought. Thinking of you often and wondering how you are doing throughout each day.

aww, thanks ruffy! But don't worry about me too much... i used to let the whole tumor thing really get to me, but i realized that i have made it through so much, medically and otherwise, that i am ok for now. i've gotten excellent hospital care, i'm healing as good as can be expected... and as near as i know they got everything.

i had to really force myself to contemplate all the medical crap i've waded through before this and look at just how i did all of that. i don't give myself credit much and i hardly ever say a good word about myself, but i developed a lot of inner strength enduring some of my previous ordeals. i need to draw on that.

i feel a bit lame... writing this stuff. i mean... i feel like i'm some kind of telethon But all i am hoping is that just maybe just one person at just the right moment will see what i am doing and maybe be willing to give themselves a second chance or even just go easier on themselves.

several people have used the phrase "someone always has it worse" to me privately... and that is true 100% of the time except for that one person who has it worse than anyone else on the planet. But viktor frankl said suffering is like a gas... it fills a person, so that all suffering is equally big to the person. There is no "small" suffering, and feeling bad just feels bad

if anyone is feeling that way... like they can't complain because i am in a hospital for surgery, or whatever... try hard to let go of that. Seriously, i don't know about anyone else but i dont think i ever stop and think that someone else as no right to feel bad.. you know?

what i would rather, and my whole intent in writing this stuff, is that maybe someone can just see that it's possible to be in the middle of a truly difficult ordeal and still have hope, still be finding ways to feel good sometimes.

im going home from the hospital this morning... so i am celebrating with cinnamon french toast and strawberries. Oh hey... look at that, they gave me whipped cream

Enjoy your recovery. *s*

what a lovely way to say that... most people wish me luck or basically imply that i am to endure it. While it isn't pleasant by any means (amen for pain meds), i really do see myself as fortunate in many ways. i got the surgery in a wonderful facility, got excellent care, everything went well, i have a pretty apartment in which to content myself while i get better... i have been blessed enough to find solutions to the problems that arose. i am not close with my family but people have come together to help to some extent.

i will try to enjoy it aka... i will remind myself of the quiet time i am forced to take as a mental holiday and not imprisonment.

thanks

my challenge is to face the things that make me nervous (but that I want to do)

(((Little*Rhino))) What you have written is not lame. That must have been a typo! What you have posted in the last few days has helped me peep out of the big black pit Ive called home, get a little sunlight on my face, and breathe a bit of fresh air. I am now capturing my thoughts more than ever, and examining what I am saying to myself. Thank you so much, you have done what you set out to do!! May you continue to heal in body, spirit and soul.

Just wanna say thanks lil rhino and to everyone else posting in this thread. It is really making me feel hopeful and happy!!! You guys are awesome!

After reading and replying, and many musings, about your other thread; I have to say

The Biggest Challenge of My Life is to Live It--on my own, just me, not through others.

A frightening challenge for one such as myself..................thank you for making me think about this--(((little*rhino)))----I don't want to merely Survive life anymore.

Fifty-five years=Time to LIVE!!!!!-----hope you're feeling better-----grateful theo

My challenge is to live in the moment. I try not to look back except to use the past as a learning tool and I look no further into the future except to wonder what my produce garden will look like in a month! For me, life is definitely one day at a time and I'm good with it. Keep the faith.

My challenge is staying organized.

My challenge is to continue to fight the good fight because I love my family and know they love me and they would hate for me to give up.