[dayzee9]

Hello PC ppl.......whether anyone noticed or not, I haven't been around for awhile again (let's hear those cheers ) We've landed in the Land of Poverty lately; we got our cable/internet pulled w/o warning for over a week.. being severely agoraphobic lately.(yeah go to the Anxiety Forum)..not being able to communicate w/the outside world has been terrifying ...........

We have no money; we have no food -- that which we have, we binge & purge (yeah, go to the ED Forum)

We're down to smoking cigarette butts & any red cent left over goes towards booze for both myself & my DH (yeah, go to the Substance Abuse Forum) I've been incredibly lonely & scared (yeah, go to the Depression Forum) I've been dissociating like mad!! (yeah, go to the Dissociation Forum)

I'm back....and instead of being the Phoenix which rises from the ashes; I (we) have been the Phoenix doing a "nose-dive" back into the ashes..........

Just wanted to warn you all..........DAYZEE's back & uglier than ever! PEACE TO ALL WHO DARE ENTER HERE......................signing off......

[Twinks]

Ya got those smilies down though....

[dayzee9]

53 Views....1 post..........should I go away? Come on, I KNOW there's ppl on this site who have wanted me gone on many an occassion.......here's your chance!........if you're too gutless to say it in public, PM me

DAYZEE9

[SeptemberMorn]

Dayzee, your feelings are coming through loud and clear. Would it help to say that I know exactly how you feel? thing is, it sounds angry and agressive. People tend to not want to respond to something like that because, well... they got triggered. Rather than say anything, they say nothing.

I'm really sorry you're going through such a rough time. But no one can change the direction you're moving in but you and your hubby. You might call your Welfare Dept. and find out if there's a Food Closet in your area. Catholic Charities also gives out canned goods and stuff. Push comes to shove, and sounds like it has, go ahead and sign up for Welfare while you're in the office. You may also qualify for medical assistance. If so, get yourselves to the Mental Health Clinic.

Please take care of yourself.

[Hope4me2]

[dayzee9]

Thanks guys

I know my post sounded a little heavy; but feeling the "s" word -=- I kinda just "puked all over the keyboard" w/o thinking. I was just crying for help the only way I knew how. I'm not a mean, unsupportive, abrasive person. I would have never volunteered on crisis lines and/or work as a psych nurse...I have "street sense (knowledge"), so I know I don't exactly come off as being "professional" at times (alot of the time)

After all, I have the horrific things I have lived in my life versus what I know from being in the streets versus what I learned in psych/medical........you'd think I'd be able to help myself, eh?

If I had one wish; it would be to find peace & happiness for the ppl who I see post in these forums; Myself...eventually?
But, it's 2nd nature for me to help others first....that's just the way I am.

ANYWHO, Thanks to you who responded.....your kind words & thoughts will be remembered.......PEACE TO ALL....period

DAYZEE9 <font color="red"> </font>

[wisewoman]

Daysee, please speak with people in your real life to get the help you need. It really stinks and I am sorry, I ain't scared away.