Update and appology

First off, I want to take this opportunity to apologize to Parker for last week. I havent even had the decentsy (sp) to pm or email you personally to explain what happened. I feel like a complete *** for not calling. My cell was dead and actually had no way to get in touch on that day but that didnt prevent me from calling the next day and explain. I am sorry parker. I feel like I didnt behave properly and I ask for your forgivness. Your friendship means alot to me and i do not want to hurt that in any way.


I have been having a hard time lately. I feel like a broken record. I have been taking things day by day and dealing with things as the happen. The last few nights have been pretty difficult. I havent been getting very much sleep. I woke up at 5 am yesterday and was in a complete panic. I had an overwhelming feeling of doom and death. I felt like I was going to die. The only thing that was running through my head was "I dont want to die". I dont know why I felt that way. I sat there for several minutes and worked through it, though my first instinct was to run. I didnt talk to hubby about it because it was way to early to wake him up.

I spoke with my lawyer. My ex's lawyer never served me the papers to appear in court for the visitation. My lawyer told me that she will handle everything so I guess i will just sit back and wait for her to handle it. I am so upset by this situation because it involves my kids and I am trying to protect them in every way I know how. I have to stop talking about this issue now because its making me a little anxious.

As far as the move goes, things are moving along. I received a call from my realtor yesterday afternoon saying that the settlement may have to be post-poned from monday to friday. He said he wont know for sure until Friday. He said that the lender for the buyer is swamped with end of month closings and hasnt gotten the paperwork finished yet but they are hoping that can be cleared up so we can proceed with a the monday settlement. I guess this crap happens. I havent experienced it personally but that has been causing me some anxiety also.

I have called the childrens schools in TX to see what paperwork and stuff I will need to enroll them in school there. That wasnt too bad. I also had to rent a storage facility because our house wont be ready until the end of August. It has rained there and has pushed back the construction about a week. That doesnt upset me that much though just getting things rapped up on this end is the worst I guess.

My mom and everyone are coming over on Saturday to help load the truck. I cant wait to see my mom. She has been calling me everyday. She even said that she will be flying out there to see me. Thats pretty big of her because she is deathly afraid of flying.

I guess that about raps it up for me. There are other minor things happening that I wont wright about at this time because my mind can barely process what I have already written.

I also just wanted to say that I miss all of you. I miss not being able to offer my support and that saddens me. I guess, if it makes a difference, please know that you all are on my mind even if you dont have a reply from me in a post. Take care all of you and I am hoping things will be back to some type of normalcy in about a month .

Love,

Jen

((((((((((((((((jmo...)))))))))))))))))))))

I'm gettin worried about you! Your avatar's are speaking out

Are you doin' o.k? (passible?) Please have your answer on my desk by noon tomorrow!!

Concerned, DAYZEE

((((((((((((((Dayzee))))))))))))))))

I am dealing...as best I can with all that is going on. Yes, that avatar looks exactly like me LOL. I am just longing for peace and serenity......... Is there such a thing?

Love,

Jen

P.S. Its before noon......

((((((((((((((((jmo531 )))))))))))))))

Yes..........there is such a thing as peace, but you have to do some legwork and listen to the following quotes that are motivating to me when I ask the same question..if nothing else..you'll continue to Patience is a virtue!

"Even too much sunshine can be devasting, while only rain can growth occur. Accept both as part of the growing process in the garden of life"

"In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity" --Einstein

"When I hear someone sigh, 'Life is hard',....I am always tempted to ask 'compared to what?'" -- Sydney Harris

"Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are." -- Chinese Proverb

Dig this:
"You never will be the person you can be if pressure, tension and discipline are taken out of your life" --JG Bilkey

And the one that helped me thru basic training in the Army:

"One must pick and choose one's batlles in life
Or risk living in emotional foxholes" --Donald Neviaser

Chew on those for awhile...no deadline!
w/peace inside, DAYZEE9

Jen,

{ { { { { Big Huge Squishy Hugs } } } } }

Hunny, you are doing the best you can do, given everything that is coming your way. I know that I always have a confidante in you, even if you are currently "away from keyboard". No apologies necessary with me sweetie

I know moving is stressful, especially when you're leaving 'home'. Just take big deep breaths, and smile, this too shall pass. Everything will fall into place when you least expect it.

Hang in there, you're a fighter and you CAN make it through this stressful time. (Psst - lean on hubby, that's why he married you!)

Much Love,
Jenn

PLEASE take one worry off your mind - our missed meeting ! Like I said in my other thread - I was concerned at possibly taking time away from you and your Mom anyway, so I am not upset at all about this! I am thrilled you had such a wonderful, hopefully relaxing day with your family. Now - you get to take that one off your shoulders and outta your mind - I am HAPPY you had such a great day with them!!!

I am also glad to hear that the EX never served you for court (still wonder if the caller was a "fraud" like we talked about), and that you are letting your lawyer handle things.

Wishing you tons of luck with getting everything boxed up, loaded into truck, and a safe trip to TX !

I think anyone would be a bit overwhelmed right now with all you are going thru Jen - just go with the flow. Remember to BREATHE, use your rational self talk, and other coping skills you have learned.

Take care of YOU !

Parker

PS = EXCELLENT quotes Dayzee - I am going to print those out !!! Thanks for sharing them.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Jen)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I miss you woman! You know you're in my thoughts and prayers. Remember this quote - a favorite of mine.....

<font color="blue">This, too, shall pass. </font>

Time always passes, and before you know it, all this will be done and you'll be in your new house in Texas. I know you've got a lot to do in the meantime, but it will all pass, and you'll be there.

I know that panicky feeling. I know it well. Can you perhaps increase your anxiety med a little bit? Call your pdoc.

You know how jumpy I am. Your avatar about scared me to death! lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love and hugs,

Jan

(((((( Jen )))))))

You take good care of yourself and hurry back to us in one piece!

See you then!



Petunia

It would be interesting to know if it is your ex that threatened the papers. I know in FL if an attorney had made the call to get business, his/her license would be on the line now.

You guys are great

Dayzee....The quotes are awesome. I like them a lot.

Things are still rolling along....packing the truck up tomorrow and I will be leaving for TX on Monday or Tuesday at the latest.

Sky,

Yeah, my lawyer thought that things with x hubbys lawyer was a little weird. I spoke with her today. Turns out that x hubbys lawyer told my lawyer that "Matt" (my x) hasnt been doing alot of the talking. Its mostly been his current wife. Well she has been married to him for 2 years and has never seen my girls except once about 3 weeks ago. Who the hell does she think she is. My lawyer faxed some paperwork to x's lawyer and apparently x and x's current wife failed to mention certain events that took place during this past 7.5 years and now x's lawyer wants to try to "work something out" because he knows if the pursue this legally the judge will laugh this out of court. So that is all I know for now. My lawyer told x's lawyer that if they want to go to court then they have to have me served. Seeing as I am leaving for TX early next week, i dont see it happening. Oh well.

Thanks for listening.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{jmo}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
take care of yourself and wishing you safety with the move...thinking of you and praying for you....I am worryied about you too...please take care