[splitimage]

My life just continues to get more complicated. My psychiatrist is worried about my drinking, my addictions Dr. is worried about my mental health, my psychologist is generally worried. They're all talking.

When I went into the hospital this morning to take my supervised Antabuse, I saw my addictions Dr., she my nurse and I had a brief meeting. She and the nurse are worried that I need more MH support than i'm currently getting, they're primarily focused on my addiction and think I need closer psychiatric supervision. They were thinking of refering me to the day hospital program at their hospital, but decided it was less than optimal to start me over in a new psychiatric program when I'm already in the system at CAMH (major psych hospital in town). So they insisted I call my psychiatrist today, which I did. After talking to him for a while, he's decided that the best option for me, is the mood and anxiety disorder's residential program. I forget if it's 21 or 28 days, but it's definitely time limited.

According to him, and according to what I've read on the hospital's site it's not like being in a traditional psych hospital ward. I've seen pictures of the rooms & they look more like university dorm rooms than what I call the early cell look of the floor I was on the last time I was IP at CAMH. They apparently have all kinds of group therapy during the day.

It scares me. I don't honestly know if I need that level of care, but I do know I'm not doing so hot on my own right now, so i accepted the referal.

I'm also trying to do everything I can to keep both Dr's happy and believing I'm doing everything I can to keep stable, so that they won't yank my driver's licence.

I just don't know how my life got so out of control so fast.

--splitimage

Hello, splitimage. May your stay prove fruitful and benefit you long term.

I will be thinking of you.

Love yourself.

[Sabrina]

Splitimage, I am glad that you have a team that are taking care of your needs so well. Take care.

[darkrunner]

You are trusting your treatment team and I think that is the wisest thing you can do right now. Try not to be hard on yourself and think about the past. Focus on the future and making sure you are stable, healthy, and strong to deal with everything. You can do it.

[sugahorse1]

congrats on being respsible and taking the necessary action. Sounds like you have some caring doctors there too
We're here for you
XXX

Hello splitimage,

I hope this inpatient stay will help you. You have made the right decision by accepting their offer - may you become stronger and healthier during this stay.

[Jewels]

(((((splitimage)))))

I hope that everything works out for you...hospitals can be scary places, but you can still learn during your stay and come out stronger than when you went in...am believing that for you!

[notz]

With you in spirit...

[perpetuallysad]

Good luck split. Keep us updated if you can.

[Junerain]

I have seen very positive outcomes from inpatient stays..I will be thinking about you, you deserve the world May you, in time, get it!!

[Rhiannonsmoon]

((((((((splitimage))))))))

Thinking of you and hoping for the very best outcome for you. I admire your ability to be able to take the offered help and go forward with it.

Rhiannon

[googley]

SplitImage-

I hope this stay provides you with the stability you need right now and you are able to get back on your feet.

[splitimage]

Thanks everybody. I don't actually have an admission date yet. The program is supposed to contact me sometime early next week to set up the intake assessment, after that I'll get an intake date. But it's not supposed to have a long waiting list, and I'm hoping that since I'm already a CAMH patient with a CAMH Dr. making the referal, which he put in as urgent, I'll get in fairly quickly.

I'm scared about it, but think it's probably a good idea for now.

--splitimage

[(JD)]

Don't think about it. Stop thinking all about it. Once you have the intake paperwork, and then have the date to go, just pack and go. Work very hard at not dreading what you "might" find, or comparing it ahead of time in your mind, or anything connected to it. It's something else you're doing to progress in your healing.

I'm proud of you (((splitimage))) you've come a long way, and you may have only a short way to go, you know?

It sounds like a good thing to do!

How are you doing, splitimage?

[sugahorse1]

I'm very proud of you for taking this step. Don't worry about it; it can only benefit and help you
(((HUGS)))

[splitimage]

Thanks everybody - I really am trying not to worry about it, it's just that it's hard, knowing that my life will most likely be put on hold for a period, but not knowing exactly when.

I'm probably going to have to give back the rental car this Wed. or Thurs 'cause my insurance company is probably going to settle with me today or tomorrow. I'm a bit freaked about that, I just hope I get enough money to pay off the bank loan on the car. Then I don't know what to do about buying another car. If I'm going to be IP for a month then I'll wait until I'm out to do it, plus I still have the threat from 2 dr's pulling my licence hanging over my head, so I don't want to buy a car until I feel more confident that they won't. But it's really hard to get around on transit from where I live, so I want to get a car ASAP. I'm just confused and probably getting ahead of myself.

My Dr's, my nurse, my friends, all think going IP is a good idea, the only people who don't are my AA sponsor and friends, so it's really hard getting conflicting advice. But when I look at my life it's pretty uncontrolable right now, and I want to SI pretty bad, so it's probably good for me to be somewhere safe.

--splitimage

[notz]

Being in a safe environment is always a good idea. But, it is up to you. You have made a fine case for making your decision. Relax and put your next right foot forward.

[notz]

Thinking of you SplitImage.