Why is Being a "Narcissist" such a bad thing?

Ok, to answer your question:
"Why is Being a "Narcissist" such a bad thing?"

... it's a bad thing because you will find yourself losing friends, being dumped by guys, and ultimately find yourself very, very alone. And it will be because you don't see any problems about the way YOU behave.

Narcissists love themselves. Very few people love narcissists, or at least, not for very long.

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90mphINneutral said: why ppl have a problem with ppl who are "narcissistic" they can't help the way they are.

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Of course they can help it. There is treatment for it. The problem is that narcissists refuse to believe that anything is wrong with THEM, and choose to blame the other people when the other people get sick of the obligatory worship. They actually think that others are jealous of them. That, to me, is the most astounding part -- as if I would be jealous of someone who is stuck-up.

IMO if someone truly is DX'd as narcissistic, then it is a disorder that needs to be treated. Just because someone has good self esteem does not mean they have a disorder. You need to look at ALL the "symptoms" and the person, to evaluate the difference maybe? 90, if someone is a narcissist, it can be a negative factor in their life, and can lead to a major "burn out" that they never see coming, Unless you heed the advice of friends, whether you believe it or not, this could happen to you. Give it a try, if it's only high self esteem, the worst that will happen is you will be more insightful in the end...

well-said, my dear!

here is another description I found about the topic..

Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by self-centeredness. Like histrionic disorder, people with this disorder seek attention and praise. They exaggerate their achievements, expecting others to recongize them as being superior. They tend to be choosy about picking friends, since they believe that not just anyone is worthy of being their friend. Narcissists tend to make good first impressions, yet have difficulty maintaining long-lasting relationships. They are generally uninterested in the feelings of others and may take advantage of them.

should this really be listed as a mental disorder? I mean some parents spoil their children and all their lives they have been told how special they are and made to believe all the same things listed in this "disorder". makes me think of a conceited person really. just my opinion.

I agree -- but it can be treated and managed, and therefore it can't hurt.

It's bad because, when someone is a true narcissist, it's not likely that anyone will be good enough for them, not spouses or kids or employers.... no one. Live with someone like that for a long enough period of time and you begin to believe their distorted perceptions.

It is an Axis II personality disorder ie it is in the same group with Borderline Personality and Anti-social personality.

Part of the requirements for diagnosing personality traits as a disorder are that it must be pervasive and chronic in the person's life...affecting more than one area of life, i.e. work, relationships, self-concept, self-care etc. There is usually evidence that these traits were present from at teenage years. The patterns of behavior related to the personality traits must cause distress or dysfunction.

So there is a broad range from someone possessing certain traits and having a clinically defined personality disorder.

gg

I am glad people are posting about the diagnosis of a true Narcissist and the traits therein. It is my opinion that the N does not respond to treatment and is unwilling to see the need for any change whatsoever. I would like to hear what Dr. John has to say about this.
Seeker

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seeker1950 said:
Also, there seems to be a strong correlation between Narcissistic behavior and that of the sociopath, who also acts without conscience or empathy. (Some people just give them the blanket label as "con artists.")
I will be very interested to hear how your husband reacts to therapy. The N cannot bear to be challenged or forced to look at his behavior honestly in any way.
Seeker

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Seeker,
Thank you for your insight!! VERY interesting that you mention sociopath. The psychological testing that my N husband completed showed these characteristics as well as delutional. That scared me!!! I had been concerned with his abilty to do harm to me (as many notrious sciopaths have done) but when I learned this, I was conviced of it.

He claims he is going to check himself into an inpatient clinic to get help. I think a frontal labotomy might be in order!!!

I will allow him to do this in hopes that he really will get help for himself but am not relying on any improvement to come from it. There is nothing that I have read that indicates that there is any possible corrective treatment for NPD. If this is the case, then this will solidify my having full custody of my four children when the divorce is final!!
I'm being strong and not letting him "charm" me into anything. He is so fragile right now and cries about everything. I am a very compassionate person, but his crocodile tears do nothing to stir any emotion in me after what he did to me with the divorce and TRYING to take the kids away from me.

I'll keep you posted on his actual attempt (ha, if he follows through) at treatment.

Either way, in the end, God will prevail, as He has throughout this entire ordeal.
Blessings!!
sixblairs

Yep, when I had to shut my dad down when I was served with my divorce because he wanted to control the entire proceding, including being my attorney (he has an ee degree ) he went absolutely mad. Literally!!! My siblings and I had to have him committed for over two weeks to rescue our sanity from his viscious attacks (from expsoing his NPD) and to save him form getting himself killed due to his flipant attitude and verbal abuse to someone other than me (since I was no longer his NS) I haven't spoken to him since he was released from the hospital in March.

Sam Vaknin has written about narcisissm...he is an expert, because...he IS one. Narcissists are incapable of feeling anything for anyone else. I was married to one fr 31 years. The research I did on this personality disordered, narcissist, verbal and physical abuser was staggering. Narcisissm is a pervasive personality disorder; studies suggest it isn't curable.

Actually, it is a bit of a spectrum disorder, like many other personality disorders, and if youare what is known as "High Functioning" you might come across as kind of stuck up or self absorbed but not much worse. Others are so bad that their self preoccupation bcan be classed as a delusion, and you really DO NOT want to be anywhere near one of those people. They can be actually dangerous. Most diagnosable narcissists lie somewhere in the middle. To make it even more confusing, a lot of other disorders, because of the damage done to the personality at various ages, can present with narsicistic traits. Even normal people, if they feel that their self and the understand ing of their self is threatened, might show transient narcistic behavior in an effort to protect their understanding of their identity. Ever meet a bunch of tired, stressed med school students? Also true of people suffereing for example, depression or mania, for different reasons.

To the young lady who started the thread: Most people who are true narsicists are basically surface, that's it. Nothing to give, but great at taking. They don't see people as people with feelings, just as back drop to the real star of the show, them. Such people spread pain and heart break around them, and once you have seen that in action, I think you would either want to talk to your boyfriend and ask him why he called you that, or punch him. They don't get why it is wrong to hurt others if they benefit. They don't understand why it is wrong to belittle people to the ground just because that person doens't wear the right clothes. everything is someone else's fault if things go wrong.
This is not self esteem, this is a person who cares only about the surface becasue there is nothing else there at all, and he or she assumes this is the same with everyone. The world is only made up of fronts.
More questions? Ah yes, this is bad because these folks regularly hurt others and commit crimes and most folks don't like people who do that.

I was told that along with Borderline PD and schizoeffective........that I was also a narcissist......

As it turns out 16 years later........I actually have Aspergers.

Horrible to think that all this time I was told that I cared for no-one else but myself.......due to my inability to know how I feel. I care deeply for a select few and try and behave accordingly........with honour and integrity.

To the OP, take care of how you treat yourself and others. You are very important but so are other people that enrich your life. If it is a situation that hinders your function/ joy/ happiness......seek help to sort it out.

I do not mean to sound condescending or patronising........it is just the benefit of hindsight and years, is all.

You are very precious, as we all are........but we are all responsible for our actions and are all part of the same fabric.

Love yourself, but be not "in love" with self....... respect humility.......do not lose perspective of who you are and what you can offer to humanity in general. You have much to give........and to receive

Take good care.......of your precious spirit

In stillness,

Michah

I don't think it's the label that is bad. Narcissism can be healthy to a certain degree. But I think it's the Narcissistic person's behaviors that are bad.

I grew up with a Malignant Narcissist for a Father. () It was hell. The only thing I could count on was the rules would always change...when it was appropriate for him and his situation.

So.....Narcissism...not necessarily bad. Narcissists behavior....that's the real issue. Like someone earlier on said, I agree that it is on a continuum.