Disowning my Diagnosis

Do you ever just feel like you want to get rid of your diagnosis? Like you get tired of carrying around a label? I feel that way so much. A few years ago I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, and I'm tired of the label. I feel like it's holding me back. Just the thought of having a mental illness doesn't sit right with me. I've been in therapy for several years, many before I knew of a diagnosis. I use to accept the diagnosis but now I'm just angry towards it. I try to look at it differently. When I go to therapy, I look at is as I'm in maintainence. Bring up only issues that are in the here and now. I look at every thing objectively. Solultion-based. I'm tired of feelings and emotions. I have life to live... goals to meet, and things to accomplish. I have no time for the touchy feely. I'm ready to chuck the diagnosis and live my life as a mental-illness-free person.

I just needed to get this all out. Does anyone else ever feel this way?

One's diagnosis is only of use to the one making the diagnosis. It's to help them with trying to help you. In a sense, the diagnosis our doctors and therapists make are meaningless to us because we're not doctors or therapists. If your primary care physician told you you had "softening of the spinal cortex" yes, you could look that up online and get a vague idea what that meant but not a whole lot you could do toward treating it? But, your doctor knowing what it is is a different matter; s/he has a clue now what sort of treatment from her/him might help you.

You are always supposed to live your life, meet your goals, accomplish your things! If you are able to do that the way you wish and aren't pissing off yourself or other people, have at it. If you say, do, think, feel things you don't like or that you or others around you that have to deal with you don't like then, . . .

I don't think getting rid of a diagnosis means that you will get rid of the mental health illness. It would be like me saying "I don't believe I have cancer so therefore I'm not going to do anything about it b/c it doesn't exist." All that is going to do is hurt you in the long run. Or are you saying you don't think you have a mental health issue?

Personally, I think I have grown out of the borderline diagnosis. I don't self-injure anymore. I actually like spending time by myself. I am much more objective than I use to be. I don't dwell much on emotions. I think healing from this came with age. I can think much more clear. I feel good.

Then I would talk to your pdoc about getting the diagnosis off your chart, if you truely feel this is not a problem.

How is the label holding you back? And who labels you? (Just curious)

All the time. But don't give up, just work through. You are a star, and no one can stop your shine

Hello ((((cherrydropz))))

I am not the diagnoses. They are something I don't give time to. I give time to being, feeling, looking better.

With each day comes a new possibility and I have to wear that on any one of those days the depression may dig its heels in.

But I am not depression and depression and anxiety is not me,

((((hugs))))

Rhiannon

i hear ya!! who says that i mthe way i am becuase of some mental illness. I am who i am becuase i was made this way. I am "bipolar". personally, i think m mental state is just fine. so i try to stay postive and live life to the fullest, but sometimes it makes me tired and i need a couple days to be monotone. bigdeal. Ive never told any one about my "illness" becuase i dont want anyone to label me. I really also dont want anyone to say "oh she did that becuase shes bipolar"

Forget your diagnosis. be who you are, and live through the tough stuff. its just a part of life, and i think we ALL go through tough stuff, everyones tough stuff is different, but we all have it.

The thing to remember with mental illness is that a person can go for years without exhibiting any of the symptoms, and then out of the blue, WHAM! they begin having problems again, after being free of symptoms for so long. Also remember that you are not your illness. Your illness doesn't own you. It's a part of who you are, sure, but there's more to you than the illness. Concentrate on those other things, those other aspects of who you are. Personally, I'm still struggling with the whole concept of "you are not your illness". I know this intellectually, but the heart knowledge just isn't there yet.

This makes total sense to me. I am having a very hard time concentrating on the other parts. I sometimes wonder are there other parts. Thanks for posting this.

No, you aren't your DX. I recently read an article about bipolar disorder, by a medical doctor, and he referred to the person as "bipolar" rather than a patient with bipolar disorder. How ignorant.

Well, if all you do is cover the day to day spin with your therapist, no, you probably don't need to admit your DX. Once you are trusting enough, and more secure ... when you can handle engaging in therapy ... then you will be able to admit you suffer from something, and then work at finding the solution to the symptoms it gives you. Be sure to stay in therapy though, because many people go just to chit chat and then quit because nothing is changing, and they feel the therapy isn't doing any good.

There are times when just the day to day events are all a person can handle, I understand that.... Hope you continue to progress and feel better.

PleaseHelp, you are very welcome! Sometimes, when we're in the grip of the ilness, we need to be reminded of these things. It's easy to forget these things, and let the illness tell you that things are hopeless, but there IS always hope. We can't let anyone or anything take that hope from us.

I found thatwhen i first was diagnosed, I went through a period of identifying very much with my illness, and I think that for me, it was an important part of learning to live with it. I researched it, met and spoke to ithers who suffered from it, and saw that really, most of us were normal, funtioning people who had a quirky system and weren't all that wierd. the I was able to acknowledge that, yes, I had this disorder, yes, so did others in my family, and i was going to have to handle it like I was going to have to watch my weight and check my blood pressure and not let the thyroids play up with me. I am carefull who I tell about it, but I do not hide it, and if it is mentioned, I don't deny it. As far as I am concerned, the situation has normalized.

You might want a second opinion about the Border-line diagnosis. I think this is warranted if you feel that certain aspects no longer apply. People do change and develop.

HUGGGSSSS and don't worry one way or the other about the lable. Just do what you can about how you function and feel.