Hopeless case

I've been out of work for two years except for two blissful months as a caregiver. I'm back out of work again because my patient has had to move to hospital care. I feel utterly useless. I have no friends ergo no personal references. I'm very reserved and I have trust issues. I work hard but that's not usually enough. I tend to cry when I'm angry and don't handle criticism well. I've been through counselling that had limited results over long periods of time. 'To little, to late' describes that experience well. I was raped as a child. My trust issues are well justified. Family is tired of trying to help. I'm living at my sister's place but she'd rather I didn't.

In short, I don't know what to do. I really am trying. I get no call backs to my applications. Wouldn't expect to really. I'm morbidly obese. Appearance matters more than ever when looking for work. I'm trying to lose weight though stress is making that difficult. Anxiety and depression go untreated because I have no money.

I use meditation when I can. The more I need it, the harder it is to get to that peaceful place. I don't even have advocats in the family. My sister was my mother's favorite, my brother is my father's favorite. Thus my mousy personality. I'm looking to connect with people here that might have an encouraging word. Don't really have anywhere else to turn.

Thanks

Hey there,

feeling like things are hopeless is never a thing you wanna deal with alone. Getting a new job, let alone finding one, causes a lot of stress and anxiety-as you said, making it difficult to lose weight.

I just read this study on procrastination though. I'm not saying it's right, or wrong, but it gave me ideas. It talked about how if procrastinators would forgive themselves for procrastinating, and not be so caught up in self-critizism and guilt, it would reduce the intensity of their procrastination.

So in english, I guess, if you forgive youself for using food as comfort,
maybe you won't get that feeling "so what I'm eating, I need it" or general defensiveness towards why you are turning to something that could potentially make the problem worse.

So let it be okay that you are eating-that is, acknowlege that what you are going through is stressful, and try to figure out when and why you beat yourself up for it (if you do. I donno.)

I also heard starving yourself causes you to gain more wait, because
after fasting, your body will hoard fat away incase you ever go through such "famine" in the future. I've been told it's better to eat small, healthy snacks all day.

If eating is a comfort, you might want to find another thing that is equally enjoyable (please don't let it be self destructive!). This will be really hard at first, because you may have always turned to food, but eventually, you will be just as adaptable with the new outlet.

If you're gonna eat, ask yourself why, and if you start to beat yourself up, ask yourself why your beating yourself up! The lower your self worth, the less motavation you will have to change.

It does suck that work discriminates based on looks, but it might work out to your advantage. If you exercise, why not start out with some streches, light stuff, and then write down what you are capable of, and then watch how your abilities increase over time. ****the scale, lol, who cares if it's a foot forward?

I donno, hope that helps a little, hopefully not all redundant and what you are used to hearing.

Okay, take care, have a good one.

((((barely))))

I'm sorry things are so hard for you. So many people are out of work right now. Have you thought of going into aged care? People who have any experience in personal care are usually suited well to aged care.

You can do courses and certificates which keep you motivated as you go because you are being rewarded with certificates for each stage you study through.

There is a shortage of staff in the aged care sector so it is an industry that one can usually rely on for work. Anyway it is a thought, a possibility for you to look at. I do hope you find work so that you can start to look up and feel better,

Rhiannon